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Rush Hour: 10 Funniest James Carter Quotes

The world’s topmost buddy cop film series of all-time is Rush Hour. The series cemented the careers of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan as action comedy legends, and even two decades later, the films are classics that never go old. Chris Tucker’s part in the duo has been to bring in the jokes, and James Carter is easily the funniest character in the series.

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Most of the time, it’s how Chris Tucker delivers Carter’s lines that make them hilarious, and we advise you to head on over to YouTube and watch these 10 quotes play out yourselves after you see which 10 James Carter jokes are the funniest.

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10 'Woah! I'm Sorry Man, I Thought This Was The Bathroom' (Rush Hour 3)

Talk about biting off more than you could chew. Carter was warned by Lee and the Dojo trainer to wait for the master before venturing inside the Dojo, but he found the consequences the hard way. After threatening to kick the puberty out of the students who attempted to attack him, Carter came across this behemoth.

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It was at this point he knew he’d taken it too far, as the giant hung Carter up by the back of his neck and proceeded to absolutely destroy Carter along with Lee. Unfortunately, the giant didn’t understand English much, or else Carter’s excuse of looking for the bathroom would’ve had some merit.

9 'I'll hit you so hard you'll end up in the Ming Dynasty' (Rush Hour 2)

By the beginning of Rush Hour 2, Carter and Lee had become much firmer friends than they were in the first part, and anyone Carter is close to, he treats them like someone he can unload his loud mouth on.

Carter was looking for some mushu while in China with Lee, and Lee’s constant side-tracking to apprehend Ricky Tan meant Carter was bemused at the lack of girls he could meet. In this scene, Lee promised Carter he’d take him to a spa to meet lots of lovely ladies, but Carter was a little apprehensive. He jokingly threatened to slap Lee so hard, he’d go back to his ancestors. Unfortunately for Carter, things didn’t turn out so well at the spa.

8 'Your Best Friend? Goin' Be A Mouse!' (Rush Hour 3)

You can count on Carter to deliver some fantastic lip service to get the audience laughing even in the most dire of circumstances. Here, Carter and Lee figured out Reynard was the main antagonist of Rush Hour 3, which was when Carter unloaded on Reynard just how bad it is for old men in prison.

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According to Carter, old men were called “pops” in jail, they were made to work in the library – and since Reynard would have no friends, his closest mate would be a mouse. It’s the way he delivered this line that made it an instant classic.

7 'You Want Fives With That?' (Rush Hour)

On occasion, the best way to diffuse a bad situation is by sending in someone completely out of line with the mood in the room; however, this wasn’t really that kind of situation. Carter was put on phone to talk with the guy who had kidnapped Soo-Yung, and he proceeded to act as if he was a McDonald’s employee taking an order.

He would even put on a tone where it sounded as if he was jotting down the number of burgers he was going to prepare, and the kicker was when he finished the joke by asking the man on the phone if he wanted “fives with that” – the fives being $5 bills to go with the $10 and $20 notes in millions in ransom they were going to pay.

6 'I'm Blackanese' (Rush Hour)

Carter always had a strange kind of love for Chinese people, and the first thing that came to his mind when threatened with his life was to claim he was related to Juntao. In this scene, as soon as he was brought to bad guys’ lair, he would be attacked.

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Carter then made up a fake family history where Juntao was his half-brother, and he was a black guy from China; translating over to being a “Blackanese.” Of course, this didn’t really work out as well as he wanted, and Carter was then promptly kicked in the face.

5 'I'm gonna pretend you a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies' (Rush Hour 2)

The more dangerous and attainable the woman, the more Carter wants her. In Rush Hour 2, Carter had a weird crush on Hu Li, the woman who was always out to kill him and Lee. In the final fight in the film, Carter assured Lee he could handle Hu Li by himself.

Before he engaged her in the fight, though, Carter took the time to hit on her a final time, even though he’d said in the same breath he would pretend Hu Li was a man in order to fight her with no restrictions. The truth is, Carter definitely was interested in her, as he claimed (after he’d beaten her in the fight) that she and Carter would’ve made for a great couple had she not been completely crazy.

4 'Lee, Snoopy Is 6 Inches Taller Than You' (Rush Hour 2)

After they found out Isabella was a spy and was working on their side, Lee and Carter started fancying themselves as secret agents themselves. Around this time, Carter was way in over his head and was convinced Isabelle had eyes only for him. He followed this up by calling Lee ugly, but Lee countered that women found him cute, like Snoopy.

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Carter had the best comeback for this, and claimed Lee was so short that Snoopy was six inches taller than him. Of course, being 5-feet-and-10 inches doesn’t make anyone short, but Carter considered himself a cut above the rest.

3 'Lee, He May Be Your Brother But Turn Him Into Your Sister'  (Rush Hour 3)

In the final fight of Rush Hour 3, Carter pretended to be Genevieve and wore her wig to pass himself off as her to Kenji at the Eiffel Tower. After revealing his identity, Carter was kept apprehended while Lee and Kenji–who had at one point considered themselves as blood brothers–began fighting with swords.

Carter, as always, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and repeatedly interjected in the fight with his comments as if he was being paid to run play-by-play of the duel. The best line out of his mouth here was by motivating Lee into beating Kenji so bad, he’d feel like Lee’s sister rather than his brother.

2 'Cut Off Our Egg Rolls? H*ll No!' (Rush Hour 2)

Carter likes to talk a big game most of the time, but when the time really calls for it, he lets it known he’s not going to hang around for long. Case in point was in Rush Hour 2, where Lee and Carter were apprehended, and Lee told him the Triads would torture them for three days.

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Surprisingly, Carter didn’t mind being tortured; it was the prospect of getting his “egg rolls” cut off that turned him into a scared little boy. After this, Carter would wrangle around crying about how he didn’t want to die. We do sympathize with him, though – who wants to let go of their “egg rolls,” after all?

1 'onk ta eenk ta pee-aanski' (Rush Hour 2)

This is the best transcript we could find about the gibberish Carter spoke in Rush Hour 2. After Lee and Kung Fu Kenny engaged in a short bout, the latter agreed to help the two out by pointing them over to the person who paid him with counterfeit money.

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Being the only one non-fluent in Cantonese among the three men present, Carter attempted his own brand of the language by saying this line. We have no clue what the heck he meant by it, but Lee’s amused and befuddled expression made it clear Carter had just babbled gibberish that made him look like a complete nut.

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