Never has there been a film series where you can’t pick a favorite character. The Guardians of the Galaxy films are the first instance you’ll find where every character is the best, and it’s impossible to determine which one is most entertaining.
But if we’re talking about insults, then the winner is easily the Sweet Rabbit: Rocket Raccoon. He’s got a mouth that never shuts up, and even fighting Thanos didn’t get him to quiet down. You can go through Rocket’s insults and use them to burn your own enemies, which is one of the many reasons why you should check out these 10 insults we heard Rocket rocking out in the MCU.
10 "You're only a genius on Earth, Pal." (Avengers: Endgame)
Fans of the MCU were slightly disappointed they didn’t get to see much interaction between Rocket and Iron Man, as the two were the quipping machines of the series. While Iron Man got the first laugh in 2018 by calling Rocket a “Build a Bear”, it was the latter who one-upped Tony in 2023.
Tony took Rocket rather lightly and mistakenly called him “Ratchet”, which led to Rocket putting him in his place by pointing out Tony’s inflated ego was only because he lived on Earth – when it came to the galaxy, it was Rocket who was the real genius.
9 "You know why I did it, Star-Munch?" (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)
All of the Guardians of the Galaxy members had juvenile jokes and comebacks, mainly because they were all immature, and also because these juvenile jokes did do the trick. Case in point was Rocket calling Quill “Star-Munch”, which seemed to rattle Peter quite a lot.
To be fair, Star-Munch makes absolutely no sense as an insult, seeing as there’s no meaning attached to it. But it was just the way he said it that made it insulting. Plus, we saw in Avengers: Infinity War that Rocket thought Quill was putting on weight, so maybe “Munch” meant Quill liked to eat a lot of food.
8 "What, You're Gonna get Another Haircut?" (Avengers: Endgame)
What made this insult so funny was that it was what all of us were thinking when we saw Captain Marvel’s rather unbecoming hairstyle. You’d think being in multiple dying worlds in the last five years wouldn’t give you much time to be prim and proper, yet Carol had enough time go and get herself the latest hairdo in the galaxy.
Captain Marvel did get back at Rocket by calling him “Furface”, but in the long-run it’s Rocket’s insult that we’ll be remembering. If she has the same style in Captain Marvel 2, then we hope Rocket has a cameo in the film where he again shoots an insult at it.
7 "Blah, blah, blah. We're all very fascinated, whitey, but we'd like to get paid!" (Guardians of the Galaxy)
The Collector scene in Guardians of the Galaxy was very fascinating for us viewers, who were getting to watch the cosmic aspect of the MCU for the very first time. Where Rocket and the Guardians were considered, though, all of that exposition was useless.
This was when he mocked the Collector by telling “Whitey” to get on with it and pay them already. Even we have to agree with Rocket on this, because while the Collector’s story about the Celestials was interesting, it was just him monologuing for no reason other than showmanship. If we were in Rocket’s position, we’d also have told “Whitey” to shut his trap and pay up.
6 "I live for the simple things... like how much this is gonna hurt." (Guardians of the Galaxy)
The Guardians needed to have their characterizations nailed down the first time round, as these characters were not even C-level heroes when the film was released. Every one of the Guardians hit the home run when we saw them, though, and that included Rocket.
This insult was directed toward Quill, who was too far to hear it, but got the message when Rocket blasted him with a taser gun to incapacitate him. The way Rocket reacted with glee leaves us no doubt that he did enjoy the heck out of tasering Quill. He’s a raccoon of simple pleasures, after all.
5 "You Got Issues, Quill." (Guardians of the Galaxy)
Sometimes you can hear a reference you know nothing about and still understand how messed up the implication is. Rocket understood very clearly what Quill was talking about when the latter claimed he was such a player with the ladies that a Black light would make the Milano look like a Jackson Pollock painting. We’ll leave you to search the internet to understand what that means.
As for Rocket, he didn’t need to go the extra mile to insult Quill on this occasion, as the disgusted raccoon instead dryly told Star-Lord he had deep issues to be bragging about something like that. Maybe Rocket was quite the “painter” in his time as well?
4 "Move it or Lose it, Hairbag." (Avengers: Endgame)
This was the second-last quote from Rocket in Avengers: Endgame, and it signalled how he had returned to his normal demeanor of insulting those he was closest to. For those who can’t recall it, the scene had Thor tell Valkyrie he had joined the “Asgardians of the Galaxy”, which was when Rocket reminded him was on the clock if he wanted to leave with them.
You can’t even argue with Rocket on this one, as Thor was a complete Hair Shop if you will. His hair had grown even longer than pre-Ragnarok, so Rocket calling him a bag of hairs was putting it mildly.
3 "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, your name is, it's Taserface?" (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 accomplished in making “Taserface” sound like an insult, and it is something you hear when two Marvel fanboys argue. The one making this quote shine was Rocket, who spit in the face of fear by insulting his would-be executioner.
The exchange was made infinitely funny when he called Taserface out for having an even worse second choice for a name (which is too colorful to say here), and it didn’t matter if Taserface would’ve killed Rocket, because the Raccoon had murdered him where insults were concerned. Remember, if you want a badass name, steer very clear of Taserface unless you want Rocket ripping into you.
2 "You wanna go to Space, Puppy? I'll take you to Space." (Avengers: Endgame)
With the loss of his Guardians family, Rocket must have been feeling thirsty to let out some insults. While he was slightly more sedate when it came to the Avengers, he just couldn’t help himself in the case of Ant-Man.
For Rocket, going to space was like taking a walk in the park, so he was miffed when Ant-Man suggested a trip to space would be cool. This led to Rocket calling Scott a “puppy,” since the latter seemed so excited at the prospect. Uncle Rocket then put on a mocking tone and even petted Scott for being so happy and cute. Unfortunately for Ant-Man, he didn’t get to go to space.
1 "You Look Like Melted Ice Cream." (Avengers: Endgame)
All fans gasped when they saw Thor in the state he was in five years later, but he looked specifically like something none of us could put a finger on. You could call him whatever you wanted, but not even calling him “Lebowski”, as Iron Man called him, was appropriate.
Rocket then quipped what we were all thinking but didn’t have a name for, when he said Thor looked like melted ice cream. Since Thor’s muscular physique used to be squarely focused on his chest, it did look his upper half had melted into his lower half. Just imagine the name-calling we’ll be seeing in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. It'll be Rabbit vs. Melted Ice Cream.