On Riverdale, there's a lot of sinister stuff going on in this picture-perfect small town. Even with serial killers, gangs, domestic drama, drugs, shady real estate deals, and mobsters, there's always time for romance. All of the drama seems to drive everyone's libidos into overtime. Constantly facing life or death situations wreaks havoc with the hormones.
Since there's safety in numbers, having a sweetheart to watch your back is imperative unless that sweetheart happens to be holding a knife to plunge into your back. Maple syrup isn't the only scent that hangs heavy over Riverdale, love is in the air too. Here are five couples who are perfect together and five who made no sense.
Perfect: Betty And Jughead
The girl from the Northside has a lot in common with the boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Betty and Jughead's, aka "Bughead," love blooms while investigating the death of a Blossom -- Jason. Their shared passion for solving mysteries and dispensing justice makes them the cutest crime-fighting duo since Batman and Robin. They're both writers -- hard-hitting investigative journalist stuff although Jughead's dreams extend to becoming the Truman Capote of his generation.
Bughead grows tighter as Jughead embraces his role as king of the Serpents, and Betty relies more and more on her boyfriend as her family falls apart. These two are so in love, they even make a long-distance relationship work. One mystery yet to be solved: what happens to Jughead that has him MIA later this season, and has "Dark Betty" gone too far?
Made No Sense: Veronica And Reggie
Reggie, the dumb jock who sells Jingle-Jangle to his classmates, goes from second-string player on the series to a starter. Reggie's kind of all over the place -- first he sells drugs and then destroys them -- although most of the time he's an antagonist and a bully. Veronica relies on him as muscle and to do an assortment of illegal jobs when she doesn't want to get her manicured hands dirty, and his only payment is sex.
Their relationship would be much more interesting it was strictly platonic. Veronica aspires to be a boss, and she has a gift for it, but why have her sleep with the help? It creates a very lopsided and altogether uninteresting love triangle, involving a rebound guy whose nice to look at but doesn't bring much else to the table.
Perfect: Archie And Veronica
When Veronica Lodge rolls into Riverdale, she immediately catches the eye of Archie Andrews. They have a few obstacles to overcome, but eventually, "Varchie" is Riverdale's "It" couple. Veronica and her father nurture Archie's more violent tendencies, but they can't be blamed for them.
Archie's dealings with Hiram are ultimately what set him on the path towards embracing vigilantism wholeheartedly. Both Archie and Veronica are trying to figure out who they are outside others' expectations. Their attraction isn't just physical. Each of them sees something in the other they lack; one of the primary things that bind them.
Made No Sense: Josie And Sweet Pea
Josie and her Pussycats get the star treatment during season 1 but disband, leaving Josie kind of floundering. Her love life consists of one date with misogynist Chuck Clayton and being stalked by Cheryl Blossom.
At the start of season 3, Josie is having a fling with Sweet Pea. They're on again and off again until Sweet Pea finally dumps her. This story arc proves how peripheral a character Josie is by season 3, coupling her up with a secondary character who barely registers on fans' radar. They get no backstory, and their ongoing hookups aren't chronicled onscreen. Sweet Pea and Josie are the parsley on the plate of power couples like Bughead, Varchie and Toni and Cheryl.
Perfect: FP And Alice
Despite being from the Southside herself, Alice leads the charge during season 2 to turn brother against brother in a Riverdale civil war. Now she's a new woman: the woman she would have been if it weren't for her sham marriage to a serial killer. Decades after their heated high school love affair, and with Gladys Jones out of the picture, FP and Alice are finally on the same page.
Even as the sheriff, FP isn't exactly a law-abiding citizen, but he's figuring out how to strike a balance between his bad-boy past and his new role as Riverdale's long arm of the law -- at Alice's urging. If Alice didn't spend so much time keeping up appearances, she may have struck this harmonious balance with her true love long ago.
Made No Sense: Hermione And Fred
When Hermione returns to Riverdale following Hiram's incarceration during season 1, she starts a short-lived romance with Fred Andrews. Their history as a couple is murky. During season 1, Hermione describes their relationship in high school as the "briefest of flings, " but the two are inseparable as members of the Midnight Club during season 3.
Whatever their history, rekindling whatever they had turns out to be a horrible idea. They're both still technically married, and mob wife Hermione couldn't be a worse match for the straight-and-narrow Fred. By blurring the line between business and pleasure, Hermione puts Fred's business at risk, especially by going about getting him a contract illegally. Fred's just a nice guy who runs to the aid of a damsel in distress and gets in way over his head.
Perfect: Toni And Cheryl
Cheryl's dials down her mean girl thanks to Toni Topaz. Cheryl was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but her family is a nest of vipers, making a Serpent her perfect mate. Neither Toni or Cheryl have much family left, so they rely on the Serpents and later the Pretty Poisons for emotional support.
These two Alpha females do bump heads on occasion. Their romance takes a twisted turn during season 4 since Cheryl decides to keep the body of her dead brother around. Toni and Cheryl are literally partners in crime, and they better last forever, because Cheryl without her beloved girlfriend is scarier than the creepy goings-on at Thistlehouse.
Made No Sense: Penelope And Clifford
The richest family in town adopts Penelope and raises her to be the perfect wife to ... her brother. There's no explanation for this odd pairing other than Nana Rose doesn't trust her son to find a suitable partner: one who knows all the Blossom secrets and has a vested interest in keeping them.
Penelope and Clifford are more like co-conspirators than husband and wife. They're in business together, and Penelope's role is to produce an heir, but when Jason turns his back on his family, and Clifford murders him in cold blood, Penelope has her own going out of business sale by killing Clifford. Penelope isn't a bad seed from the start, it's her bizarre history with the Blossoms -- unnatural even -- that turns her into a monster.
Perfect: Hiram And Hermione
Hiram and Hermione are back together again, and nobody should be surprised. Hermione has been by Hiram's side since he was just a nobody in Riverdale; someone her mother didn't see as worthy to date her daughter.
Yes, their marriage is built more on fear and shared ambitions than love. He threatens to kill her, she tries to kill him, twice. They both lie and cheat, but in the end, they're on the same team. Their relationship is symbiotic, and one just doesn't function at their best without the other.
Made No Sense: Jason And Polly
Star-crossed lovers whose story is crammed into a short synopsis narrated by Jughead. He's a jock, she's a cheerleader. They date, she gets pregnant, he decides to sell drugs so they will have enough money to head to a farm full of organ harvesting cultists.
Their romance isn't even central to the story of Jason's murder; it's all about Jason's relationship with his father, and Jason's unwillingness to follow in daddy's footsteps (even though he's willing to run drugs for the Serpents). Polly's a crackpot and has remained so to this day. The Jason in flashbacks shows as much personality and speaks as much as the corpse Cheryl keeps close by for heart-to-heart chats.