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Preacher: Cassidy's 10 Most Biting Quotes

 

Adapted from Garth Ennis' 1995 graphic novel series of the same name, Preacher premiered on AMC in 2016, and has been a hit ever since. The show is praised for the smart ways it deviates from its comic counterpart, while still maintaining the familiar story.

Preacher is bloody, crude, bold, and controversial. It has only been on the air for a short few years, but has already made its mark on TV. The series boasts witty writing and funny, likable characters. Now nearing its fourth and final season, there are many things about Preacher that fans will miss.

Introduced in the pilot episode, Proinsias Cassidy quickly established his reputation on the show as the smooth-talking, bad boy Irish vampire, and he quickly became a fan-favorite. Cassidy is undoubtedly one of the best, and most hilarious, characters that exists on Preacher, and he will probably be the one fans will miss the most.

Cassidy has no filter and is frequently making wise-cracks that will live on forever in Preacher lore, so let's review some of his funniest, and most biting quotes.

RELATED: 10 Things That Need To Happen Before Preacher Ends

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Cassidy from Season 2 of Preacher
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10 "I'M CURRENTLY ON THE RUN FROM A GROUP OF VAMPIRE-HUNTING RELIGIOUS VIGILANTES..."

Cassidy from Season 2 of Preacher

Early on in Preacher, viewers are given a snippet of information about the smooth-talking vampire, from Cassidy himself; "I'm a 119-year-old vampire from Dublin City. And I'm currently on the run from a group of vampire-hunting religious vigilantes who keep tracking me down somehow".

RELATED: Preacher: 10 Things You Didn't Notice In Season 2

Since Cassidy is always speaking in run-on, long-winded sentences, his lines are always iconic, but are kind of hard to quote. His above line regarding his backstory is a good example of this, as Cassidy is constantly saying hilarious things, in a way that only he can say them.

9 "IT WON'T BURN ME FACE OFF."

Preacher disregards many vampire stereotypes when it comes to Cassidy, but they utilize others. For example, when Cassidy first revealed to Jesse that he was a vampire, Jesse simply laughed him off. So in attempt to prove himself to the preacher, Cassidy promptly let the sunlight burn his arm to a crisp.

RELATED: Preacher Season 3: Why Angelville Is A Little Different From The Comics

While sunlight can kill Cassidy, Preacher reveals that things like fangs, taking bat form, coffins, and a cross will not hurt Cassidy; "It's a 2,000-year-old symbol of hypocrisy, slavery, and oppression. But it won't burn me face off.".

8 "GOD'S AN EXPERT CRIER AND HE YELLS A LOT."

Preacher season finale Tulip and God

Preacher is famous and controversial for the way it portrays God. Using dark humor and sardonic jokes - in typical Seth Rogen fashion - the series never shies away from depicting God as a crooked, quite irresponsible figure.

RELATED: Preacher: The Secret Ingredient Behind All Those Epic Fight Scenes

The show revolves around the concept that God abandoned Heaven and is rebelling, on the run and in the form of a man wearing a creepy Dalmatian suit. When describing this show's version of God, Cassidy says it best; "Alright, so... God's an expert crier and he yells a lot. Well, we kinda knew that already.".

7 "GOD MAY NOT MAKE MISTAKES, BUT PEOPLE ARE BLOODY FAMOUS FOR IT!"

Cassidy in Preacher

In an earlier episode of Preacher, Jesse discovers that his hypnotic-like powers are in fact, not "holy" but actually the result of the fact that he is carrying around an angel-demon hybrid inside him. This is where angels, Fiore and DeBlanc come in, and desperately attempt to convince Jesse to give the entity - Genesis - back.

RELATED: Preacher Season 4 Confirmed To Be Its Last

Jesse stubbornly refuses to give up his powers, justifying this by reasoning that God wants him to be this all-powerful preacher, and saying that God makes no mistakes. Cassidy's response is perfect; "God may not make mistakes, but people are bloody famous for it!".

6 "I'M A BLOODY VAMPIRE AT VOODOO DISNEYLAND."

Preacher Dominic Cooper Joseph Gilgun Cassidy Jesse

In a fairly mediocre season 3 episode of Preacher, Cassidy brings some much-needed entertainment and levity. This episode presents Tulip, Jesse, and Cassidy at odds while they're staying at Jesse's Gran'ma's place. The threesome's relationship becomes strained when Cassidy and Tulip begin to turn against Jesse. The episode, titled "Gonna Hurt", was not Preacher's best - and neither was the entire third season - but Cassidy did coin one of the best lines: "I'm a bloody vampire at voodoo Disneyland".

5 "MISERY LOVES COMPANY, DOES IT NOT? IT'S THE HOPE THAT SETS MEN AT ONE ANOTHER'S THROATS."

Preacher Joseph Gilgun Cassidy

For someone who had been regarded as a good-for-nothing, selfish vampire for most of his life, Cassidy has more than a bit of wisdom to impart. The show portrays Jesse as someone who thinks of himself as an all-knowing voice of reason, but in reality, Cassidy has been shown to be the real voice of reason on several occasions. This quote, for example, highlights that; "misery loves company, does it not? It's the hope that sets men at one another's throats".

4 "THERE ARE THREE POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS HERE..."

Preacher season finale - Cassidy

Upon discovering Jesse's "superpowers" (aka the Angel-Demon, Genesis), Cassidy took it upon himself to try to make sense of this and offer up some theories, in one of his best and most hilarious quotes;

"Now, there are three possible explanations here. Number one, John Travolta, you know the movie where he gets his power from a brain tumor. Number two, Jason Bourne, gets his power from a secret government agency. Or, and it’s the least likely, but it’s my favorite scenario, you’re a Jedi."

3 "HONESTLY, BOYS, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU KEEP FINDING ME."

Preacher is good at giving its characters unique personalities, particularly with its three main characters: Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy. They are the iconic trio, and their interactions and adventures never fail to be entertaining. In many ways, Cassidy is the comic relief for his friends - and the entire show.

RELATED: Preacher Season 4: Everything We Know

For example; "Honestly, boys, I don’t know how you keep finding me. Truly, I don’t. But I do know that you’re going to be sorry you did. And not just the kind of 'I took half a sheet of LSD down at the bullfight last night' kind of sorry, neither. No, no, no, no, no, boys. No, this kind of sorry it’s much worse."

2 "HIS PLAN FOR YOU IS THE DUMBEST, MOST BORING PLAN HE'S EVER COME UP WITH."

Preacher Cassidy Jesse Joseph Gilgun Dominic Cooper

Jesse and Cassidy's feud began late in season 2 and worsened in season 3. The two had become the best of friends in the first season, so while the fact that they were at odds was pretty sad, some of their fights were pretty entertaining to watch.

RELATED: Preacher Season 1: Story Recap & Ending Explained

In one memorable scene, Cassidy gets fed up with Jesse's holier than thou attitude, and frustrated, he says, "His plan for me is to let you know that His plan for you is the dumbest, most boring plan He’s ever come up with."

1 "I NEED THE UMBRELLA, OR OTHERWISE I BURST INTO FLAMES, SEE?"

Cassidy has several unfortunate encounters with the sunlight, and has sustained many burn injuries as a result. Not only that, but Cassidy's adult son, Denis, suffered a very scorching fate in season 2, when Cassidy pushed him out a window and into the sunlight, after deciding that his son could not handle vampirism.

Sun-sensitivity could easily be something fatal for Cassidy as well, but he takes that all in good humor, casually stating, "I need the umbrella, or otherwise I burst into flames, see?"

NEXT: 10 Things That Need To Happen Before Preacher Ends

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