Some movie titles truly do speak for themselves. Piranha 3DD is one of those cases.
The Piranha 3D sequel was supposed to hit theaters around Thanksgiving of 2011 – until recently, when Dimension Films bumped the release date and set the film aside as an “unspecified” 2012 release. Post-production on the intentionally-trashy horror B-movie followup has reportedly been complete, so now it’s just collecting dust until the studio heads decide on a new official release date.
A trailer for Piranha 3DD premiered at the 2011 SCREAM Awards ceremony – and, as you might expect, it promises all the cornball acting, over-the-top violence, and gratuitous nudity that you would expect. The only “difference” between this and last year’s Piranha movie is that the setting has now shifted to an actual water park called… The Big Wet Water Park.
Now, you might be asking yourself: How do flesh-eating fish find their way into an inland attraction full of self-contained pools and water slides? Why is Baywatch legend David Hasselhoff starring in Piranha 3DD as himself, now serving as the life guard at this endangered establishment? And how is this movie anything but an attempt to outdo its predecessor by being even more of a pure cinematic schlockfest?
If these questions are running through your mind… well, you clearly aren’t familiar with the “art” of exploitative B-movie fare.
But enough of that – check out the Piranha 3DD trailer below:
Piranha 3DD was scripted by Saw franchise writers Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton – and directed by John Gulager (the Feast trilogy). Needless to say, these guys know how to deliver direct-to-DVD quality entertainment full of nasty gore, unabashed amounts of nudity, cheesy acting by D-list talent, and marvelously tongue-in-cheek performances from actually recognizable faces like Hasselhoff, David Koechner (last seen in Final Destination 5), Christopher Lloyd, Gary Busey, and Ving Rhames – with the latter sporting the sort of artificial limbs not glimpsed onscreen since Rose McGowan was given a machine gun leg in Robert Rodriguez’s grindhouse homage, Planet Terror.
That’s all to say: Whenever Piranha 3DD does actually hit theaters, there will be an audience. If nothing else, at least this time those people won’t receive a “neutered” B-movie experience (Shark Night 3D, looking at you…).
Source: Spike TV
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