Oh, Hi Mark: 10 Absolutely Perfect Quotes From Tommy Wiseau's The Room

Tommy Wiseau's 2003 film The Room was an unlikely success story. It cost millions of dollars to make, but it only made $1,800 during its original theatrical run. It confused critics and audiences,  but it became a cultural phenomenon. Director Tommy Wiseau still regularly hosts screenings of the film. Fans recite the script by heart and relive the film in an interactive, Rocky Horror-like fervor.

RELATED: The Room Now Available to Watch Online on Tommy Wiseau's YouTube

The Room was once dubbed the best worst movie ever made, but it stands out from other cult favorites. The intensely quotable script might be to blame, so here are 10 of the most hilarious, memorable, and perfect quotes from The Room.

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

Start Now

10 "You Are Tearing Me Apart, Lisa!"

In this intense scene, Tommy Wiseau's character Johnny echoes James Dean's iconic line from Rebel Without a Cause. This quote has become one of the most frequently-referenced lines from the movie because of the dramatic delivery, Lisa's apathy, and Johnny's despair.

The scene ends with Lisa kissing a distraught Johnny goodnight, and he ends the scene with a forlorn "You drive me crazy!" as he promises that he still loves Lisa. Even though she just accused Johnny of abusing her, Lisa seems strangely nonchalant about the issue. Johnny's reaction makes up for it.

9 "Hi, Doggie!"

Tommy Wiseau's signature "oh, hi!" greeting appears several times in The Room, but one of the most amusing uses of this quote is in the flower shop scene. The rushed sequence involves Johnny's attempt to purchase flowers, speak to the store clerk, and greet a dog, all in the span of 45 seconds or less.

RELATED: Every Project Tommy Wiseau Is Currently Working On

The store clerk's rapid "You're my favorite customer" and seeming inability to recognize Johnny also add to the frenzied uniqueness of the scene. The audio is also somewhat out of sync in the scene, so the clerk doesn't appear to be speaking, even though she clearly greets Johnny and accepts his payment.

8 "Underwear, I Got The Picture."

In this scene, Johnny helps his friend Mike with a certain recent "tragedy." Mike tells Johnny about his awkward encounter with Lisa and Claudette. They apparently walked in on a private moment between Mike and Michelle, and they confiscated his underwear as evidence of the hookup. Johnny consoles Mike with a halfhearted, "Underwear, I got the picture. That's life."

However, the scene inexplicably takes a violent turn when Denny and Mark show up to toss around a football. Mark tries to joke around with Mike and gives him a playful shove, but he knocks him into a nearby garbage can. Mike stumbles home and Johnny leaves the alley with Denny.

7 "Cheep Cheep Cheep!"

In this scene, Johnny, Mark, Denny, and Peter are all wearing tuxedos. Denny suddenly suggests a game of football, but the only one to object is Peter, a psychologist and side character with little to no involvement in the plot. The guys gang up on Peter and mock him with high-pitched cheeping noises.

RELATED: Exclusive: Tommy Wiseau Planning The Room on Broadway

Johnny later uses this same chicken taunt to provoke Mark, his ex-friend and romantic rival. Even though the scenes are vastly different, the intent is the same. The insult is reserved for cowards, backstabbers, and people who refuse to play football in a tuxedo. Peter later exits the movie and is never seen from again.

6 "Leave Your Stupid Comments In Your Pocket!"

This exchange occurs when Mark lashes out at Steven, a friend of Johnny's who appears much later in the movie. This line stands out because of the unique phrasing and wording. Mark could've told Steven to keep his thoughts to himself, but he chooses to take a more literal approach.

Like many other characters, Steven appears to be more of a late addition or a plot device. He discovers that Mark and Lisa are having an affair, and he reveals this observation to the audience while confirming how sensitive Johnny is. Lisa's flat reaction and Mark's strange idiom make the scene even more memorable.

5 "Everybody Betray Me! I Fed Up With This World!"

This dramatic quote is one of Johnny's final scenes in the movie. He confronts Mark, Lisa, and everyone else who has wronged him during the movie. The delivery and wording are noticeably bizarre, but the public nature of the accusation is the best part of the scene. Johnny runs upstairs to contemplate life and ultimately kills himself, but the scene works more as a dark comedy than a drama.

RELATED: Spoons, Footballs, and Suits: The Best Way to Watch The Room

Tommy Wiseau has since claimed that The Room was supposed to be a dark comedy, but it resembles a melodrama far more often, especially in the party scene. Johnny's life is ruined, but the moment is quite literal and unsubtle.

4 "I Got The Results Of The Test Back. I Definitely Have Breast Cancer."

This brief scene involves Lisa and her mother Claudette discussing her recent cancer diagnosis. Like most serious scenes in the movie, it is short-lived and the plot is conveniently dropped. Claudette's delivery of the line is deadpan, and she seems unfazed by the diagnosis. Lisa is also less than concerned, and the discussion soon shifts back to Johnny.

This quote represents one of the many unfinished or incomplete plot lines in The Room, and even though the subject matter is serious, it still manages to be funny in its own way. The randomness of the diagnosis and Lisa's lack of a reaction also help.

3 "Anyway, How Is Your Sex Life?"

This quote is one of the more oddly-placed lines in the movie. Johnny and Mark meet at a café, but they only sit down for a few minutes. Johnny attempts to make small talk with Mark, but the conversation awkwardly shifts to Mark's personal life and his presumed affair with Lisa.

RELATED: Tommy Wiseau Continues Campaigning for Joker Role, Shares Fan Art

It is unclear if Tommy Wiseau wanted to imply that Johnny knew about the affair in this scene, so the question seems even more off-topic and random. Johnny and Mark leave the café not long after that, leaving the viewers with an awkward pause and yet another loose end.

2 "Denny, Two's Great, But Three's A Crowd."

Denny is an interesting character. He was simultaneously Johnny's friend, devotee, and sidekick. He acted like a teenager in some scenes and an adult in others. In the famous pillow fight scene, Denny walks in on Lisa and Johnny and says that he likes to "watch them." Lisa and Johnny playfully hit him with the pillows, but it almost seems like they are starting to bully him.

Denny eventually realizes that he is in the way, and Johnny tells him that "three's a crowd," implying that he wants some alone time with Lisa. The wording is odd but deceptively brilliant. Johnny uses a cliché line, but Denny (and the viewers) quickly understand that it's Tommy Wiseau's code for "get lost."

1 "Oh, Hi Mark!"

This final scene is one of the most famous and recognizable scenes in The Room and arguably cinema in general. It was referenced several times in the trailer for The Disaster Artist, but it also perfectly captures the source material of the original film. In this rooftop scene, Johnny expresses his frustration about Lisa and her lies. He appears mid-rant and says that Lisa's story is "bull****" while tossing an empty water bottle at the ground.

Johnny's sudden pause makes this scene especially memorable. He turns to his best friend and greets him nonchalantly after dropping the bomb about Lisa and her claims of domestic violence. The oddly lighthearted nature of the scene helps cement its status as a cult favorite and perhaps the best worst movie ever made.

NEXT: Exclusive: Tommy Wiseau Wants to RESHOOT (Not Re-Release) The Room in Modern 3D

More in Lists