It is no shocking revelation that Jean-Ralphio Saperstein is one of, if not the most, inappropriate characters of Parks and Recreation. He is Tom Haverford's best friend, and the ultimate scammer. Nobody is quite sure what he does, but he is charismatic nonetheless. He has an equally inappropriate sister Mona Lisa, and a father that is none the wiser to all of his schemes. Jean-Ralphio is also notorious for flirting and hitting on almost every woman in the town of Pawnee, Indiana. He is constantly on the lookout for a new girl, and he is especially focused on the women that work at City Hall. One thing is for sure... his pickup tactics sure are original. Here are 10 of Jean-Ralphio's most inappropriate pickup lines.
“K to the N to the O P E, she’s the dopest little shorty in all Pawnee. Indiana.”
While Jean-Ralphio is constantly attempting to pick up women (and the occasional handsome man) he is definitely not the smoothest of the bunch. He is willing to go to great lengths such as fitting someone's name into a rap. Usually, a character like Leslie Knope might enjoy something like this. However, when it comes from the likes of Jean-Ralphio, she's just not taking the bait. Of course the rap doesn't actually rhyme, but it is Jean-Ralphio after all!
"I saw her sweating real sexy on the StairMaster"
While introducing Tom to a new cute desk assistant at Entertainment 720, Jean-Ralphio mentions that he saw her working out at the gym and approached. Not only is saying that a girl was "sweating sexy" a complete turnoff, but hitting on girls at the gym is the wrong move. No woman wants a man to approach her when she is focused on a workout.
"Listen beautiful, let's cut the bull. You want this. I want this."
Even his business propositions are sleazy. Jean-Ralphio tries to entice Donna Meagle with his 'charm' to get her to buy a stake in the Snake Hole Lounge.
Only Jean-Ralphio could take something potentially very serious, and turn it into a suggestive pickup line. He is consistent if nothing else, and never passes up the opportunity to get a word in with the ladies of City Hall.
"Who is that hot intern chick out there? Because honestly, damn!"
When Tom first introduces Jean-Ralphio to the rest of the Parks & Rec gang, he is hoping he can make a good enough impression to land a job as Ron Swanson's assistant. Surely he knows that hitting on a woman in an office setting completely crosses the line, especially when you are trying to secure a spot as the boss's assistant. Then again, the amount of lines which Jean-Ralphio crosses are too many to count.
"I actually forgot they ever dated. I was trying to hit that."
Just when you though Jean-Ralphio could perform a selfless deed, he does this. When Tom and Jean-Ralphio host the 'End of The World' party for Entertainment 720, it is revealed that Jean-Ralphio calls Lucy to invite her to the big bash. Tom and Lucy believe Jean-Ralphio calls in order to get the two of them back together in the same place again. In reality, he forgot Lucy was Tom's ex and confesses he called Lucy for himself.
"Will you pretend to be my wife for an insurance scam, but then we fall in love for real?"
While saying one last goodbye to Leslie Knope, Jean-Ralphio makes a last ditch effort to hit on Leslie. He never strays from an opportunity to make some cash. Combine that with a marriage proposal and you've got the perfect scenario for Jean-Ralphio. It seems to be that his sole purpose in life is to make money (under the table) and attempt to persuade the women of Pawnee to be with him.
"What do you say you and I get together in a special way"
He is nothing if not subtle. There truly is nothing that Jean-Ralphio could be embarrassed by. Let's face it he's a con artist, a terrible flirt, and extremely inappropriate. There is something to be said for how easily he is able to hit on someone.
Although the feeling is never reciprocated, we can appreciate Jean-Ralphio for not just being a conventional cheesy pickup line type of guy. Right?
"Damn girl, who you trying to impress? Just kidding, I know"
Like we said, Jean-Ralphio knows no bounds when it comes to attempting to charm the ladies. When April is dressed up at a club all for Andy, Jean-Ralphio sees no harm in trying to swoop in and steal April away. April, being the lively girl she is, has no problem just walking right away from him. I can't decide what's funnier Jean-Ralphio's sad attempt to get April, or April's deadpan reaction.
"Guess who's got two thumbs and just got cleared from insurance fraud? This guy!"
So this one isn't technically a pickup of Jean-Ralphio's, more like a business tactic between him, Chris Traeger, and Ben Wyatt. Nevertheless, it is an attempt for him to talk himself up to someone, and he has said himself that he is "open minded as hell." Regardless of gender, color, or status, Jean-Ralphio is no doubt all over it.
I dagger you on the dance floor. Just bounce, bounce now all the ladies sayin’ bounce. What do you say, sexy?”
What can we even say? This one is impressively gross, even for Jean-Ralphio standards. He simply skips over all cliches and goes in for the kill. He gets props for having the guts to say whatever he wants, but he also is in major need of a filter. It's hard to believe after being introduced to Jean-Ralphio's father, Dr. Saperstein that he would behave in this manner. Then again Dr. Saperstein is pretty delusional so maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.