Parks and Recreation may have come to a close in 2015, but it still remains one of the most beloved shows out there. While it never got the same high ratings as something like The Office, fans were drawn to its eclectic cast of characters played by some future heavy hitters like Chris Pratt and Aubrey Plaza.
Of course, the one character who remains the most popular and fondly remembered has to be the man himself: Ron F***ing Swanson (played to pitch perfection by Nick Offerman in a star-making role). Over seven seasons, Ron delivered some great pearls of wisdom. These are 10 of his most badass quotes.
10 "There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger."
Even though Ron is happy to let Leslie Knope practically run the Pawnee Parks Department, he is still technically the boss. However, when Chris and Ben arrive, Ron suddenly finds that he has an overzealous superior, which totally rubs him the wrong way.
Ron decides to test his more severe management style against Chris's positive one on Jerry. He states that people are not motivated by kindness, but rather "money, fear, and hunger." Turns out, both Chris and Ron were wrong. Jerry filed a lot but made more mistakes when Ron motivated him, with the opposite result occurring under Chris's leadership.
9 "It's always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine, another show created by Mike Schur, features some truly hilarious cold opens. That tradition was carried on from Parks and Recreation, which also featured some memorably insane cold opens of its own.
In one, Ron complains about tooth pain before yanking the tooth out himself with pliers, causing the entire office to freak out. However, it turns out that the tooth was already removed and Ron was just faking it in order to show everyone how much pain he can withstand.
8 "If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults."
Ron is not a man who is into charity, as demonstrated by this particular line. He is very much a traditional sort of guy who buys into the philosophy of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps in order to make it in this world.
While Ron softens in many ways, he still never fully buys into the idea of helping people. He is more than willing to offer advice on how to hunt, woodwork, and pick a good whiskey, but he is definitely not interested in giving people life advice outside of those parameters.
7 "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard."
Once again, Ron proves that he has his own sort of hard-edged wisdom, one that essentially plays on old adages in order to convey his view of the world. Here, rather than saying that you should teach a man to fish, he instead leans toward self-preservation.
This quote also demonstrates Ron's idea that most adults should know how to do just about anything in the great outdoors, including catching a fish and staying alive without modern conveniences.
6 "Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous."
One of the greatest things that Parks and Rec ever introduced into the world is the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness. This simple infographic provides all of the life advice that could ever be needed by anyone, including this gem.
The pyramid also features a lot of other great advice, such as "Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that." IT also states that skim milk is to be avoided. In fact, that point is so important it is featured twice.
5 "I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures."
Ron is a self-made man, the kind of guy who doesn't believe in any external factors leading to his success. while that may or may not be true, it's still his personal philosophy.
In his own way, saying something like this is actually wishing someone luck, just in a way where he doesn't have to acknowledge that he is actually doing it. It's also a reflection of how Ron really does believe in the people around him, even if he doesn't always show it.
4 "One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it."
This is another pearl of wisdom from the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness. Even Ron can admit that everyone needs to feel their feelings, and that it's good to express yourself in a way that lets those feelings out.
However, he also acknowledges that this should not be a regular occurrence, and that anger shouldn't be taken out on people who don't deserve it. That's a pretty solid lesson!
3 "Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor."
Honestly, this entire list probably could have been made up of squares from the Pyramid of Greatness, but this will be the last one we mention. Ron is a guy who believes that America has basically gotten it right, and that capitalism is the best way for a society to operate.
Of course, This antiquated view isn't shared by everyone, but trying to change Ron's mind about it would be a futile exercise. It's also a strange opinion coming from a guy who doesn't trust banks enough to actually put his money in them.
2 "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have."
"Wait... wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?"
During a trip to Indianapolis, Ron is absolutely psyched that he gets to visit his favorite restaurant of all time, Charles Mulligan's Steak House. of course, the trip is ruined when Ron discovers the place has been shut down.
After Chris tries to feed Ron a vegetarian meal, Ron decides to visit a diner. When he finds their steak to be beneath his standards, he delivers one of the greatest food orders of all time: all the bacon and eggs the restaurant has. Not a lot of bacon and eggs, all of them.
1 "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
Ron may be harsh, and he may not always want to appear to be soft, but the truth is that he is always around to give solid advice to his coworkers. In fact, he might even consider them to be his friends.
Ron gives this great piece of advice to Leslie when she is trying to balance running a campaign for city council and continuing her work at the Parks Department. It's not just a great line, but it's actually really great advice for real life, as well.