Lord John Grey is one of those rare characters that amaze us. And we say this because, while he is far from being the star of the books that inspired Outlander, he became just as popular and beloved as Claire and Jamie Fraser. He's brave and strong, but he is also loving and caring. There is nothing this highborn English soldier and diplomat won't do for love - even a love that is one-sided.
All of these characteristics came together to propel the character of Lord John Grey into stardom of sorts. So much so, that author Diana Gabaldon saw it fit to give him his own series of books and novellas. That's quite an accomplishment for a character who was meant to be secondary! Thanks to both the show and the books, we have reached a point where we're pretty much swimming in romantic quotes from Lord John Grey. We wouldn't expect anything less from a man with a heart of gold, right? We can't go for all of them, but we can go for the top ten most romantic quotes of Lord John Grey!
"Hal is generally right, but not always."
The power of this quote stems from the circumstances that surround it. When he was only eighteen years old, Lord John Grey fell in love for the first time. He had a relationship with a lieutenant in his regiment who met a tragic demise, one that John never truly got over. This is mostly due to the fact that he couldn't talk to anyone about Hector due to the nature of their homosexual relationship.
That's until he met Jamie, his prisoner at the time. He opened up to him about how Hal had told him he needed to see Hector dead to be able to move on. “He said that I must; that unless I saw him dead, I should never really believe it. That unless I knew Hector - my friend - was really gone, I would grieve forever. If I saw and knew, I would grieve, but then I should heal - and forget.” He ends the exchange with the quote, and we know John is still grieving the loss of his first love.
"What would you call a man whose mind touched yours, whose prickly friendship was a gift, whose character, whose very existence, helped to define your own?"
Lord John Grey's love for Jamie Fraser is a central plot point and the most important one for many fans out there. And while everyone knows that this love comes only from one side, we know there is genuine friendship between the two men. Plus, we know that respect began to be built when John refused Jamie when he offered himself to him.
Lord John Grey recalls that "refusing him was one of the few acts of true nobility to which I would lay claim for myself". He knows Jamie can't and won't love him - he knows he is not his romantic partner. And because of this, he refuses him, because he doesn't want something that is not real. Instead, he clings to his love for Jamie and uses it as a driving force.
"You gave me my life all those years ago, now I give you yours."
Here's the thing about Lord John Grey: when he fell in love with Jamie, he was the one holding all the power. Jamie was the prisoner, the vulnerable one, the one who couldn't escape. And whilst many other people, especially in the 1800s, would take this opportunity to take advantage of the weakest link, John didn't.
His love was pure. After Jamie confiding in him that he thinks the "white witch" might be his lost wife, and rejecting John's advances, he doesn't seek revenge. He frees him under the pretext of paying a debt. In reality, he loves Jamie. And he wants him to be happy. So, he sets him free.
“Do you know what it is to love someone, and never —never!— be able to give them peace, or joy, or happiness?"
The pain of unrequited love remains one of the sharpest, most brutal pains we as human beings can experience. Over centuries, poets and artists and musicians from all walks of art have translated this tragic feeling into their art, simply because it's so painful, and such a common affliction.
Lord John Grey's love for Jamie is one of these stories. We often feel the pain in his words, and see the hurt in his eyes. Too many of us are familiar with it. But John's words, while cutting deeper than knives, are still imprinted with so many echoes of love that it becomes hard not be feel moved by them.
"And what do you think love is, then, that it is reserved only to men who are drawn to women?"
Obviously, it's no secret to anyone that Lord John Grey is homosexual. Mind you, this fantastic character exists in the realms of the 18th century, a time when being attracted to people from the same gender could very easily land you in a grave. Lord John Grey is masterful in hiding this side of his life, without showing any signs of being at war with who he is.
He's not ashamed of his sexual orientation, nor should he be. However, he is forced to comply with the rules he's bound by due to the circumstances of his time. This quote is perfect in its simplicity, of John Lord Grey being unapologetic about his belief that love is love - no matter what, or who.
"To know that you cannot give them happiness, not through any fault of yours or theirs, but only because you were not born the right person for them?”
Love is a very complicated thing. Anyone who's lucky enough to fall in love with someone who loves them back should be aware of what a treasure it is. Because in a way, it's very much like winning the lottery - finding someone charming and attractive and choosing them every day for the rest of your life, and them choosing you back is nothing short of a gift.
In this quote, we can feel just how much pain Lord John Grey has to go through because of his love for Jamie. It's not his fault, because in so many ways, he is nearly a perfect human being. But the man he loves is already deeply in love with another person, and there's absolutely nothing to be done about it. It's heartbreaking, it's tragic, and the words are beautiful.
"I hated him for as long as I could. But then I realized that loving him…that was part of me, and one of the best parts."
We've already tackled the issue of unrequited love. And while it might seem a little repetitive, we must remember that when it comes to Lord John Grey, his deepest love and his whole heart belong to Jamie. So, it's no wonder that his most romantic quotes will invariably involve him in one way or another.
This one is particularly important because we see Lord John Grey coming to terms with the fact that as much as he wanted to replace love for hate in an attempt to move on and forget, he simply couldn't. Because that's not right, and it's making a disservice to himself. His love for Jamie runs deep, deep enough to be a part of him. Even if he can't be with him, he still nurtures this love. And that makes him a better person because it makes him stay true to himself.
"Some people you grieve forever."
Almost every single person in this world has felt the weight of grieve, in one way or another. Grieving someone who is gone is incredibly hard, and coming to terms with death is a pretty horrible and difficult path. But it becomes even more difficult when you are forced to grieve the loss of someone who is still alive.
Lord John Grey knows he will always love Jamie. And because of this, he also knows that he's been cursed with eternal grief. Grief for the love story that could have happened if things were different, grief for the life they could have had together, grief for himself and his unfulfilled desires. John Grey knows that some people, you are doomed to grieve forever.
"You shall always have my friendship."
One of the reasons fans have fallen so deeply in love with the character of Lord John Grey is his integrity and honor. As we've mentioned before, when people are forced to look upon the ugly face of unrequited love, they turn to anger, hate, and sorrow. But John Grey has matured and evolved up to a point where he would rather have Jamie's friendship and love him from a distance than have nothing at all.
He knows Jamie will never want him, but he will stay in his life regardless. And no just that, he will go to extreme lengths to help this man and his family - marrying a woman in order to raise his child, getting engaged to his daughter, saving his life. There's nothing he won't do for Jamie, even knowing that won't win him his heart.
"I should probably want you to the day I die."
The quote that launched a thousand fans into eternal screaming and inspired poets all across the world to write their finest works! Okay, maybe we're going a little overboard here, but you get the picture. It doesn't matter how cold-hearted you are, how much you hate anything that resembles romance. This quote is a masterpiece.
Nothing quite captures the essence of Lord John Grey's feelings for Jamie like these words do. Most of us could only hope to inspire this kind of love in someone, let alone a man as honorable and kind as Lord John Grey. Yes, he will want Jamie until the day we die. And that's both his blessing and his curse. We're gonna go cry into a pillow now.