[Warning: 'Orange is the New Black' season 3 spoilers below]
The stories at Litchfield Penitentiary continue on in Orange is the New Black season 3, and this year it’s about much more than just Piper and Alex, or even some overlord nemesis. This year it really is all about the characters' stories – which is both a bad and good thing.
Fortunately, you’ll find many great moments contained within these 13 episodes. From Bennett dancing to the most profane Umami reference you’ll hear all year. Orange continues to deliver some of the best standalone character stories in all of television, and these are some of its best moments.
1) “Holla Back Bennett”
In Bennett’s all-too brief appearance this season, his most memorable moment comes in the form of a flashback from when he was in the Army, attempting to film a vial video complete with choreography. With a full music track backing him, and a camera man with a wandering eye, the future father has his platoon perform to Gwen Stefani "Holla Back Girl". That is, before he makes his exit.
2) “Mr. Rodcocker, My Time Traveler”
Crazy-Eyes may have a 50 Shades of Grey following – even her own fan fiction – but the best thing to come from her sexually explicit tales is the personification of its main character “Admiral Rodcocker” in prison guard Wade. Wade's been walking the halls of Litchfield for quite some time now, but this is the first time we get to see his character have a "bit of fun" (even if he doesn't). There's nothing Caputo likes more than dealing with complaints from his staff, and this is best one so far.
3) “Never Cross Piper”
What happens when the typically friendly Piper is double-crossed by someone close to her? Just about the most shocking level of revenge you can imagine, but will thoroughly enjoy. Piper has been known to “break out her shell” before - Doggett is proof of that - but this time… it’s personal. Fortunately, the only advice she needs is what’s tattooed on her arm.
4) “A Base Note of Umami”
Whenever Piper’s brother Cal makes an appearance on the show, it’s always the highlight of the episode. Thankfully, he shows up throughout this season as one of Piper's dirty co-conspirators. With Piper’s business booming, Cal and his wife take it upon themselves to expand the brand with a more scientific approach to their famed product. Yes, the stories from the past may not be true – but it's their dedication to the “art form” that counts, first and foremost.
5) “Sara Rice”
Of all the mistakes that can happen when Litchfield is adjusting to its new inmate computer system, this is perhaps the worst (or best). When a mix-up leads to one of the familiar cast being released from prison early, it poses the all-important question: What's next? While the "person in question" may not look exactly like Angelina Jolie, it’s her long hair and bangs – as well as a few ill-trained prison guards – which allow her to escape from prison and go… nowhere. There’s no place like (where you call) home.