One of the best running gags in The Office is Michael’s extreme hatred of Toby, with one major fan theory finally revealing the real reason Steve Carell’s character is so cruel to him. Ever since Toby Flenderson’s first appearance in The Office, the character has been marked by how much disdain Dunder Mifflin Scranton’s boss has for him. As the series continued, Michael’s brutal jabs at Toby only became worse, with The Office’s human resources representative being the only character whose approval Michael never wanted. While Michael’s hatred for Toby is one of the most notable gags of the series, The Office doesn’t give a complete answer for why the two have always been at odds.
Toby Flenderson, played by The Office co-writer Paul Lieberstein, wasn’t supposed to be a major role in the series, but showrunner Greg Daniels wanted the writers to have experience on the show as actors. Toby was originally meant to be a small bit to teach Lieberstein how to act, but he quickly turned into the fun-sucking character that became Michael’s worst enemy. Michael Scott actor Steve Carell noted that he sensed Michael’s festering hatred of Toby in their very first scene together, which saw Lieberstein taking an extraordinary amount of time to sign his name on Meredith’s birthday card in The Office season 1. And thus, Michael’s disdain for Toby was born, with Lieberstein himself not understanding why exactly Michael hates his character so much (via Bullz-Eye.com).
From saying he would shoot Toby over Hitler and Osama bin Laden to framing Toby for possession of marijuana, Michael never fails to show how much he hates Toby. Nonetheless, Toby always holds out hope that Michael will come around to him, even though it’s not just Michael who snaps at the HR rep. When Jim becomes Dunder Mifflin Regional Manager, he begins feeling the same annoyance for Toby as Michael, as does Andy when he takes over the job in the show's later seasons, with several other characters arguing with him due to his corporate status. Since hating Toby is one of the most unifying factors of The Office’s characters, theories about why Michael hates him so much have abounded, with one, in particular, suggesting it stems from Toby reminding Michael of his own father.
Why Michael Says He Hates Toby So Much
In the series, Michael can never really muster up the words for why he hates Toby, but his answers are typically based on the fact that Toby is the HR representative, is fairly emotionless, and never gives in to any of his antics. The notion that everyone in The Office hates the HR department is a pretty subtle running gag, as Dunder Mifflin's David Wallace also shows some disdain for his own corporate representatives. Michael also feels that the HR department for Dunder Mifflin Scranton is “a breeding ground for monsters,” though his prejudice is soon lifted when his future wife Holly Flax replaces Toby. As such, Toby being the HR representative isn’t the main reason why Michael hates him, with the answer seeming to stem from a much more personal bias.
The Office Theory Explained – Michael Hates Toby Because He’s A Divorced Father
One of the most common insults that Michael launches at Toby is the fact that he’s divorced, with Michael continuing to hone in on how he doesn’t understand why someone would have married and had a kid with The Office's Toby Flenderson. According to one The Office theory (via Reddit), the real reason why Michael hates Toby so much is that he reminds him of his own dad, who divorced his mom at a young age and seemingly walked out on Michael. Toby was going through a divorce with his ex-wife at the start of The Office while becoming a single father of a young child, which may have resurfaced Michael’s repressed childhood trauma about his own father.
Michael and Toby’s counseling session in The Office season 7 uncovered much of Michael’s hidden trauma that stemmed from his mother and stepdad, Jeff, but he hardly ever mentions his father. According to the fan theory, Michael displaces his anger about being abandoned by his father onto Toby, as he sees the annex-located Dunder Mifflin employee as a reminder of his dad. It’s also especially easy for Michael to take his anger out onto Toby because he doesn’t necessarily like him on a personal level, so he blinds himself from being able to see that Toby is a much better father to Sasha than his own father was to him.
Michael’s Hatred For Toby Goes Much Deeper Than Divorce
While Toby being a divorced father may contribute to Michael’s hatred, his disdain goes much deeper. If Michael only hated Toby for being a divorced parent, then he would also hate The Office characters Meredith, Stanley, and Darryl. Considering Toby seems to be a more attentive parent than Meredith and Stanley, being a divorced parent can’t be a primary motivator for Michael’s contempt of Dunder Mifflin’s human resources representative. The Office's character dynamic also can’t just be due to Toby being in the HR department, because Toby rarely intervenes with Michael’s antics anyway. Toby could have had Michael fired on numerous occasions for his behavior, but has never been seen to complain to corporate and rarely ever stepped in to stop him. Rather, Michael hating Toby seems to be a combination of Toby’s divorced status, HR career, and fairly pathetic demeanor.
Toby is actually quite similar to Michael in terms of wanting the approval of others, with one major difference being that Toby would never actually stand up for himself, making him slightly more pathetic than say, Michael, Dwight, or Andy, who are constantly trying to impress or get others to like them. Michael’s contempt for The Office's possible Scranton Strangler thus may be similar to the Groucho Marx quote about not wanting to be part of a club that would have him as a member, with Michael always searching for the approval of those who he sees as socially or financially superior to himself. Michael may see Toby as someone who’s almost as desperate as himself for friendship and family, but also sees himself as higher on the social hierarchy. The majority of Michael’s hatred for Toby in The Office appears to stem from a projection of his own insecurities, whether it be his parents’ divorce, desperation for approval, or being disciplined for his own poor behavior.