As the exhaustive search for the next James Bond continues, actor Nathan Lane claims that he has been cast before then revealing his hilarious geriatric 007 story. Based on the novels by author Ian Fleming, the Bond movie franchise first got its start back in the early 1960s. After the likes of Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan took on the role of 007, the mantle was passed to Daniel Craig in 2006's Casino Royale. After 5 outings of varying quality, Craig bid farewell to the role with 2021's No Time To Die. The film, which is directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga, earned mostly positive reviews and ends with Bond's death, a first for the franchise
Now, as rumors continue to swirl regarding the next Bond actor, Lane, who recently appeared in Only Murders in the Building, reveals during a recent appearance on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert that he is the new 007.
After explaining that he was chosen because the Bond producers want to take the franchise in a "more mature direction," the actor outlines the plot of his geriatric 007 film, which includes trips to Rite Aid and efforts to cure Eczema. Check out Lane's full comment below:
“I’m the new James Bond. Now, before you start with the Twitter rants, hear me out. So [producer] Barbara Broccoli calls me and she says, ‘Nathan, we want to take Bond in a whole new, more mature direction. We think you’re the guy.’ So, I said, ‘Sure, Barbara, I’d be honored to follow in the footsteps of these great actors.’ And so she sent me the script. It’s called ‘Octogenarianpussy,’ or ‘The Spy Who Loved Metamucil’. Bond is now at retirement age living in a country manor house with his wife, Pussy Galore, real name: Mildred Lefkowitz. He’s a little bored, he gets a job in customer service at the local Home Depot, and that’s when things get crazy.
There’s some very poignant scenes where Bond forgets his Apple ID and he and Q have to go to the Genius Bar. And a very, very powerful scene at Rite Aid when 007 goes up to the pharmacist and says, ‘Bond, Gold Bond. Will it help with my eczema?’ The heart of the story is Bond fighting for full pension and benefits while trying to balance the cost of top shelf vodka and Savile Row haberdashery on a fixed income. Sadly, his libido isn’t what it used to be. A Bond girl shows up at his hotel suite and says she’s there to offer him super sex. And he says, ‘Soup or sex? I think I’ll have the soup.”
But Seriously, Who Could The Next James Bond Be?
Even before Craig exited the role, the Internet was awash with speculation regarding who will be next to don the tuxedo and wield the Walther PPK. Idris Elba has been a top choice for the role for years now, but the actor recently clarified his interest in taking on Bond, expressing that playing 007 is "not something that will satisfy [his] personal goals." Even if he was interested, however, there's a good chance that he's now too old to play the role anyway. Elba is now 50 years old and, while previous actors have played Bond well into their 50s, franchise producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson have stated that they're looking for an actor who can make a 10 to 12-year commitment to the franchise.
A number of other actors have also been fan-cast in the role, including Henry Cavill, Tom Hardy, Tom Hiddleston, and Richard Madden, but Aaron Taylor-Johnson has recently become a top contender. Taylor-Johnson, who recently appeared in the likes of Tenet and Bullet Train, and is also slated to star in Sony's upcoming Kraven the Hunter, is reported to have had meetings with Broccoli regarding 007, and those meetings are said to have gone well. Beyond reports that Taylor-Johnson has had meetings, it's not clear how close the actor is to actually getting the part. It's also not clear how extensive his involvement in Sony's Spider-Man universe as Kraven will be, with contractual obligations to the comic book world potentially complicating his Bond casting.
It's now been over a year since the release of No Time To Die and the future of the Bond franchise still seems largely up in the air. Broccoli has previously revealed that James Bond 26, when it does eventually come out, will feature a "reinvention" of the character. While Taylor-Johnson seems like the most likely candidate for the role at the moment, it's entirely possible that it could end up being someone completely different. Hopefully, producers will release an official update on the future of the Bond franchise in the weeks or months ahead.