Nick Miller is pretty much all of us. His character on New Girl is living proof that even during adulthood, we still have no idea what we're doing or what is going on at any given moment. At least this is the case for most of us, if we're gonna be completely honest here. We love Nick Miller as the cynical grouch who panic orders 200 dollars worth of Chinese food, is obsessed with "The Cotton Eye Joe", and desperately wants everyone to know that he's from Chicago. "Thin crust pizza? No thank you."
We've heard quotes to live by from famous philosophers throughout history. Quotes of wisdom that have been around for centuries, from Gandhi to Plato to Socrates. But what about Nick Miller? When will he be appreciated for his words of absolute wisdom?
Now is the time... Step aside Aristotle - It's Nick's moment to shine.
So without further ado, let's take a look at Nick Miller's wisest quotes to live by. Warning: These quotes might just change your outlook on life itself.
10 Do I regret it? Yes...
"Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."
Truth is, most of us don't learn from our mistakes until we've made them over and over again. At least Miller is honest. Honesty is the best policy folks and no one knows this better than our boy Nick Miller. In sitcoms such as Full House, it always seems as though if a character messes up in some way shape or form, they will automatically learn from their mistakes at the end of the episode and never make the same mistake twice because of it. New Girl, on the other hand, is much more realistic of a sitcom and acknowledges the fact that even well into our 30s, it can still take some time before we learn from the regretful behavior of our past.
9 No, I don't dance.
"No, I don't dance. I'm not from the town in Footloose."
Nick is not one to willingly go out of his way to do anything that the majority of the world would consider to be "fun". Dancing? Forget it. Engaging with the outside world? No thank you! Nick would much rather be alone in his room with a beer and the computer to search for weird things on.
If he absolutely has to dance or engage in "fun", he will do so, but only for the sake of his friends. He even goes out of his way to do a slow-motion chicken dance at a wedding to Phil Collins music in order to make Jess happy. If that isn't a true friend then I don't know what is!
8 I have decided to give up...
I have decided to give up on women and put all of my energy into tomatoes.
We should all just put an end to our dating lives and instead invest our energy into tomatoes. It will definitely save us from a world of heartbreak and give us more vitamin C than any relationship ever could.
Oh, Nick. He always seems to be struggling in his romantic relationships and it isn't too hard to understand why. Despite Jake Johnson's effortless charm as the actor who plays Nick, the character himself is quite the definition of a man child. From his complete disdain when it comes to doing anything that would require him to act like a full grown adult to his allergic reaction towards emotion of any form, as cute as he looks, he is not exactly the boyfriend material we all. None-the-less, we'd still totally make him our husbands if we could despite his many MANY flaws.
7 I once saw a zebra named Gavin give birth...
I once saw a zebra named Gavin give birth at the zoo and I cried hysterically.
I think we've all been there before in that same exact scenario. Relatable!
It's great to see that despite the fact that Nick so desperately wants to appear to the universe as the manliest man of all mankind, he is able to get emotional every once in a while. If Nick could learn to cry more in the midst of his heartbreaks, maybe he would get over the whole careless attitude he tends to boast when it comes to his feelings.
His stoic behavior makes it that much more hilarious when we get to see him burst out into tears over the smallest life occurrences. Also, when Nick is able to have a positive outlook on literally anything in life, it's pretty much a full-blown miracle. Congrats Gavin on causing Nick Miller to experience emotions! We never thought the day would come.
6 I really like when a rap song uses a choir
I really like when a rap song uses a choir. It makes me feel really happy with all those ladies' voices coming and then the guy's rapping. I think it's awesome.
It is so awesome, Nicholas. We love it when Nick is able to actually appreciate the smaller things in life, even if they are totally random. Nick Miller finding enjoyment in something that doesn't involve burritos, alcohol, or ten-hour naps is like seeing Oscar The Grouch wearing a giant smile. It just doesn't add up, but it's surprisingly nice.
Other things Nick finds awesome include (but are not limited to): Wool tights, Chicago, Jessica Day, The Cotton-Eye Joe, and Chicago again. (Haven't you heard? Nick really loves Chicago. Did you know that is where he's from?).
5 You're a terrible person
You're a terrible person. It's hilarious.
If you ever are in need of a person who sees the worst in everyone around them, Nick is your guy. He is blunt enough with his friends to tell them how it is, which can sometimes stir up some conflict within the suite. Whether he's blasting Schmidt for buying him a cookie or calling out Jess for wearing "dumb pajama outfits", he says exactly what is on his mind, including the occasional truth bomb of letting his friends know that they are in fact, terrible people.
Yet instead of being disturbed by the so-called terribleness of his friends, he is able to find humor in the situation. Nick has been friends with these people for so long that he no longer feels the need to hold back from telling the truth or even attempting to fix their wrong behavior. At this point, he's just there to observe the madness as it unfolds inside their LA apartment.
4 I haven't done laundry in five months
Same, Nick. Same.
Nick just doesn't see the point in doing day to day things that are required for a person to be a regular and sanitary human being. He just doesn't. Why do laundry or pay taxes when there are burritos to be eaten and naps to be taken? Nick lives the way that he wants to live and he won't let society take away his lack of human responsibility, no sir.
One of his biggest conflicts with Jess, (and quite honestly, the rest of his roommates), is that he doesn't have any control over his life and most importantly doesn't seem to desire any. He is perfectly fine living like a frat boy while in his mid-30s. Schmidt even folds his clothes and lays out a new outfit for Nick to wear every morning. Awww! Friendship goals.
3 It is perfectly fine to watch TV all day
We've all had those days before. You know, those days where we do absolutely nothing but binge-watch two full seasons of The Office for the third time in a row. Sometimes vegging out is healthy, yet things change when this is a daily occurrence and you're a 30-something-year-old man who needs to pay rent for his LA apartment. Those don't come cheap. If only Nick could have a little more ambition. On another note, I'd really like to know what's on Nick Miller's Netflix recommended page. The Food Network? The Walking Dead to inflict inspiration for his Zombie novels? Nah, probably just The Food Network. Yeah, definitely The Food Network.
2 Can I get an alcohol?
What's it take for a person to get an alcohol around here?
Nick's greatest love of all might just be an old fashioned drink. Sorry, Nick and Jess fans! Nick is constantly surrounded by alcohol and not just because he works at a bar. The dude is drinking pretty much all the time, even first thing in the morning. He does it to mend his inner pain. Nick even claims "You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."
Fans even have a theory that the reason he acts so strange is due to the fact that he is constantly drunk. We hope this isn't the case, Nicky! Maybe you can hold up on getting an alcohol for a bit.
1 1. I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner
It is an urge that we can all admit that we've had before. One of the most common urges of all in fact. Despite Nick hating everything in the world, he seems to really love Jess, Schmidt, and Winston. This counts for a lot. He will develop several urges over the course of the series to do nice things for his friends, including treating them to lobster dinners, giving them cookies just because, and including them all as characters in his ultra-successful zombie novel. What a guy!
So, what are your favorite Nick Miller quotes? There are so many to love! Let us know your favorites in the comments.