Website-Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions


(Comedy) - Alvin Schroder is a struggling Los Angeles actor just trying to get his face seen and his name heard in a business where all it takes is one role to shoot you from obscurity into the limelight. Alvin is desperate for fame and fortune so that he can stop cleaning celebrity pools - and start swimming in them. One day, unbeknownst to Alvin, his well-intentioned but goofball friend Charlie logs onto IMDB (Internet Movie Database) and announces Alvin's been cast in a number of career-making roles in major upcoming flicks - Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four, Dick Grayson in Batman 3, Johnny Quest, and Nightmare on Elm Street 2.

When the misunderstanding causes a studio to actually cast Alvin in a major role for which he never auditioned, his life is turned upside-down as he suddenly becomes the hottest thing in Hollywood. Studios start bidding wars, competing to sign him to their projects, and the paparazzi invade his private life. Alvin should be the happiest actor on earth but will all the unearned fame and fortune go to his head before the studios realize the mistake?


Adult Friend Finder

Website movies Adult Friend Finder poster

(Romance/Comedy) - Martin Kaputski works a dead end job as a data entry specialist for a large financial institution. He's never been very good at his work, sports, or at life in general, but a chance encounter with a beautiful woman and a handsome man in an elevator at his office uncovers a gift he never knew he had - the ability to help others find love. After word spreads around Marty's office that he has an amazing gift for matchmaking, they nickname him the "Adult Friend Finder" and he starts charging for his services. Marty's new business explodes when he expands online, leading millions of people to enlist his help in finding their next one night stand - or future spouse.

Now, Marty seemingly has everything in life but the one thing he is missing is a love of his own. With the encouragement of his mother (whom he still lives with), Marty uses his own service to try and locate a companion. After several failed attempts at love, Marty gives up, realizing that his gift only works on others. It's then, while visiting friends at his old job, that he runs into the beautiful woman from the elevator - the woman who helped launch his empire - and sparks fly. Will Marty ever find a soul mate or is he destined to be a lonely matchmaker?


Texts From Last Night

Website movies Text From Last Nights poster

(Mystery/Thriller) - Alison Banetty is just like any other 22 year-old single girl living in New York City. She goes to art school during the day and works part time as a waitress in the afternoons, but at night she likes to drink and party with her club hopping friends. One Friday night she drinks too much, parties too hard and ends up going home with a guy she just met, against the pleadings of her friends. When she wakes up the next day, the guy is dead, she's half-naked, covered in blood, and holding a butcher knife in her hands. What has happened? Did she kill this stranger? Is she a victim of a frame-up?

As all of these thoughts flood her mind at once, her cell phone buzzes - it's a text message from one of her friends looking for her. Scrolling through her phone she sees hundreds of text messages... all from herself! Can she piece together what happened and how she ended up in this situation using nothing but Texts From Last Night before the police arrest her?


People of Walmart

Website movies People of Walmart poster

(PBS Documentary) - Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns has given the world several award-winning documentary series, offering insight and history behind a number of topics including: Baseball, Jazz Music, and National Parks. This time, he grabs his camera and heads to the number one retail store in the world to showcase the People of Wal-Mart. Inner cities, suburban communities, the hills of West Virginia, the flat prairies of the Midwest, and the sun-kissed coasts of California are just some of the locations Burns takes his audience to give voice to the shoppers of Wal-Mart in order to let them share their stories - through the way they dress.

Families, old guys, celebrities and mulleted-highway truckers are just some of the people that can be found behind the doors of any Wal-Mart in the USA. Some people wear a little (when they should wear a lot); other people are obviously color-blind, but all of them are unique. Through his lens, Burns turns Wal-Mart into a veritable Disneyland filled with colorful characters.

The story continues when Burns takes his camera outside for an even more intimate look at the colorful characters of Wal-Mart - through the vehicles they drive. Begging the question: What do your wheels say about you?


I Can Has Cheezburger?

Website movies I Can Has Cheezburger poster

(Sci-Fi/Action) - In the deepest parts of space, where light is barely perceivable, lives the alien race known as lolcats. A civilization of cat-like creatures whose evil is rivaled only by their cuteness and clumsiness, feasting only on cooked ground meat covered with cheese and bread. When food supplies run low on their planet, the lolcats travel millions of light-years to Earth, and find the planet overflowing with Cheeseburgers.

Now it's up to one man, Dolph Lundgren, to bring together the people of the world to fight off the hoard of invading felines and keep the planet's cheeseburgers from falling into the clutches of the lolcats as they march throughout the major cities of the world chanting "I Can Has Cheezburger?"


These are the websites that could be worth a hefty batch of gold in Hollywood. I'm sure I've completely missed the boat with one or another, and Hollywood will one-up me again - making a movie based on some piece of obscure HTML code or, quite possibly, something related to PayPal, Yahoo or CraigsList. Who knows at this point?

What website do you think will be the next up for the Hollywood studios?

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