More lousy holiday releases ahead

Most of the time, I don't expect holiday releases to be instant classics. Most of them tend to be forgettable at best. But this year is shaping up to be abysmal. Just look at some of the mediocrity that is forthcoming:

The Ringer (Nov. 5): Starring Johnny Knoxville, this heartwarming tale is about a guy who is so desperate for cash that he tries to fix the Special Olympics by pretending to be mentally challenged. I can't think of a single group out there that won't be offended by this little gem. It sounds painfully unfunny on paper, and I seriously doubt it will be any funnier on screen.

Surviving Christmas (Nov. 10): Starring Ben Affleck, this comedy is about a guy who doesn't want to spend Christmas alone. He ends up bribing the family who moved into his childhood home so he can spend Christmas with them. What is happening to Affleck's career? The trailer for this movie is about as unfunny as it gets. Affleck's character comes across as annoying more than anything else. In one of the preview scenes, James Gandolfini smacks Affleck in the back of the head with a snow shovel. If only...

National Treasure (Nov. 19): Starring Nicolas Cage, this action flick is about an archaeologist who finds out about a treasure map written on the back of the Declaration of Independence. He decides to steal it to keep it safe from a group of treasure hunters. I'm just as patriotic as the next person, but this is one of the dumbest ideas for a story I've ever heard. Between the box office failure that was King Arthur and this, I think the dents in Jerry Bruckheimer's armor are starting to show, but who knows? The mindless movie-going public may end up proving me wrong.

Christmas with the Kranks (Nov. 24): Starring Tim Allen, this comedy is about parents whose plans to go on a tropical vacation for Christmas are interrupted when their daughter makes a last-minute decision to come home for Christmas. The trailer is full of people falling and crashing into things. Ha ha... funny. With every mediocre movie, Tim Allen seems to be trying to prove to the world that his Home Improvement success was a fluke.

These lousy releases will be offset somewhat by good movies such as Pixar's The Incredibles (Nov. 5), but those will be the exceptions that only confirm the general rule. Viewer beware...

Source: Cinema Clock


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