While total opposites, Phil and Claire Dunphy are one of the most compelling married couples on Modern Family. This sitcom marriage works because he's a silly goof and she loves to organize everything in sight; they balance each other out.
Phil's happy personality can annoy Claire, but at the end of the day, these two would never dream of splitting up as they're devoted to spending their lives together. There may be moments when these characters seem to have a difficult and tension-filled relationship, but they are truly meant for each other.
Toxic: They Had Different Parenting Styles, Which Caused Conflict
While Phil had a soft spot for Luke and the two were similar in many ways, he definitely loved all his children equally. Claire could say the same thing, although of course, she approached parenthood in a stricter way than he did.
While Phil and Claire are great parents, they did see things differently, and their parenting approaches caused some conflict as Claire would get worked up and Phil would be chill about the given situation. For example, Haley spent a lot of time in season 6 sitting at home, which bothered Claire but didn't seem to affect Phil. Their opposite personalities and distinct parenting styles made their marriage harder than it needed to be.
Perfect: They Supported Each Other's Career Dreams
Phil and Claire always supported the career dreams and goals that they each had. Phil's real estate career is full of dramatic moments like when he sold the house next door to a family with whom Claire doesn't want to be neighbors. While they didn't want to have frustrating and loud neighbors, Phil knew that he couldn't lie about an offer.
Claire had wanted to be a stay-at-home mother, but Phil was fine when she went back to work, and he never made her feel bad about any decision. In season 5, Claire decided to work at Jay's company, Pritchett's Closets & Blinds, and she kept trying to balance work and family.
Toxic: Phil Didn't Always Understand The Work Claire Put Into The Family
In the season 1 episode "Run For Your Wife," it was time for everyone to go back to school, and that meant that Claire had some alone time during the day.
This episode proved that Phil didn't really understand the amount of work that Claire put into their family life every day. He bugged Claire when she wanted to go for a run and read a book. It seemed like he should have given her some space and let her continue with her routine, so this suggested a breakdown in communication and understanding.
Perfect: Their Sweet Valentine's Day Ritual
Claire and Phil celebrated every Valentine's Day together and always made sure to go to a nice restaurant. In the season 1 episode "My Funky Valentine," they decided to role-play and Claire pretended to be a woman named Julianna, whereas Phil was Clive Bixby. They did the same thing in the second season, and then in the sixth, Claire was unhappy that Phil loved Julianna so much.
While these moments weren't without frustrations and mistakes, this ritual proves that Claire and Phil have a loving marriage and put the effort into keeping things fresh. They always made time for each other, no matter how busy they were.
Toxic: They Didn't See Eye To Eye On Most Subjects
It's telling that when Haley fell in love, Phil was the one who supported her and got to know her boyfriends, not Claire.
When Haley started dating Dylan, everyone thought he was too immature, but he won Phil over and the two were pals. When Haley liked Andy, Claire complained, but Phil could see the good in him. It seems odd that Phil and Claire were always disagreeing with each other. It didn't seem like they could ever see eye to eye, and since they were sharing their lives, they should have been more united on important matters like their children's partners.
Perfect: They Were Young Parents Who Figured It Out Together
Claire always had to be honest but she kept a secret from her kids for a while: that when she got pregnant with Haley, she and Phil weren't that serious yet. She told him that she was expecting on his answering machine after attending a Duran-Duran concert.
Phil and Claire have a perfect relationship because they were young parents who learned to handle whatever came their way. They didn't know what they were doing, but they figured it out together, and this bonded them more than anything ever could.
Toxic: Phil Didn't Always Take Claire Seriously
In the season 3 episode "Me? Jealous?" Claire and Phil had dinner with Tad, who could be one of Phil's real estate clients. Tad kept kissing Claire and making her feel uncomfortable.
When Claire told Phil, he brushed it off and said it was totally fine. This proved that Phil didn't always take his wife seriously, and this seems like a big problem with their relationship. While Phil was happy-go-lucky and loved seeing the good in people, he needed to be more observant sometimes.
Perfect: Their Vow Renewal In Hawaii
In the season 1 episode "Hawaii," the family went on a fun vacation, and Phil had a surprise up his sleeve.
Because the couple was expecting their baby girl Haley, they never had a honeymoon, and Phil wanted to fix that. Phil and Claire renewed their vows and it was sweet, emotional, and romantic. While they could definitely be silly sometimes, Phil and Claire really loved each other and appreciated all the moments that they got together, and this was a perfect example.
Toxic: They Wanted Each Other To Change
While Claire always wanted to be in charge and that can be seen as a negative quality, she always meant well as she loved her kids and thought she did the right thing.
Claire and Phil had a toxic marriage in some ways, though, because they often wanted the other person to change. In the season 7 episode "Playdates," Claire wanted Phil to tell their couple friends to pay for dinner because they hadn't whenever they got together. Phil shared that he and the husband made a bet so Phil had to keep paying, and Claire was mad. But didn't she know that Phil was sometimes silly and immature and that he couldn't help himself? After so many years of being together, they shouldn't have been so surprised at each other's behavior.
Perfect: They Sometimes Presented A United Front
While Claire and Phil sometimes hurt each other, they could also be the best of friends.
In many cases, they were a united front when it came to looking after their children. One example was in the fifth season episode "iSpy" when they thought that Luke was doing drugs. They spied on him together and learned that he was just making a movie. They also found out that Haley had photos in an exhibition, which was a proud moment for them as she took a while to find herself.
This Modern Family couple had their differences but they were phenomenal parents who supported each other.