After his raw, unsettling dramatic performances in Taxi Driver and Raging Bull made him a screen icon, Robert De Niro proved he was just as capable of giving a hilarious comedic performance with the role of overprotective father Jack Byrnes in Meet the Parents. De Niro shared hysterical chemistry with Ben Stiller as his daughter’s boyfriend desperately trying to impress him.
This movie was popular enough to launch a blockbuster franchise, which is extremely rare in the comedy genre. Although the critical panning of Little Fockers killed off the series, Meet the Parents remains a timeless gem filled with unforgettable lines about milking cats and puffing the magic dragon.
“They Say Geniuses Pick Green. But You Didn’t Pick It.” - Jack
Jack makes it clear that Greg is going to have to work hard for his approval from the moment he arrives at the house. He compliments the color of Greg’s rental car and asks if he picked it.
Greg tells him, “Oh, no, the guy at the counter. Why?” Jack wryly explains that psychologists believe choosing green is a sign of intelligence – but he didn’t pick it.
“So Much Love... And Also, So Much Information.” - Greg
When Greg sits down to dinner with Pam’s parents for the first time, Jack reads out a poem he wrote to honor his late mother. His poetry ranges from sweet sentiments, like “You gave me life / You gave me courage,” to graphic details of how she passed on, like “The cancer ate away your organs / Like an unstoppable rebel force.”
At the end of the poem, Greg lauds Jack’s writing for containing a lot of love and affection as well as a lot of explicit medical information.
“You Never Told Me About Your Cat-Milking Days In Motown.” - Pam
Jack’s poem is just one part of the movie’s wildly uncomfortable dinner scene. Greg learns that Pam was once engaged to another man, makes up a story about milking cats, and accidentally destroys Jack’s mother’s urn with a champagne cork.
When Greg complains to Pam that she never told him she was engaged to her ex-boyfriend Kevin, she fires back that he never told her about his “cat-milking days in Motown.”
“Greg, You Have A Very Unique Last Name.” - Dina
Since the sequel to Meet the Parents is called Meet the Fockers, Greg’s last name no longer has any surprise factor in the original movie. But before the sequel hit theaters, it was a great gag.
Dina backhandedly compliments Greg on his “very unique last name” and asks how to pronounce it. He explains, “Oh, just like it’s spelled: F-O-C-K-E-R,” and Dina and Jack awkwardly say, “Hmm... Focker.” The name mainly concerns them because of Pam’s middle name. If she marries Greg and takes his last name, she’ll be known as “Pamela Martha Focker.”
“Puff Is Just The Name Of The Boy’s Magical Dragon.” - Jack
When Jack plays one of his favorite songs for Greg in the car, he explains the subliminal messaging behind the seemingly wholesome “Puff the Magic Dragon.” He says that it’s not about a dragon and that it’s really about drugs, but Jack has no idea what he’s talking about.
Greg awkwardly explains, “Some people think that... to ‘puff the magic dragon’ means to... to smoke a marijuana cigarette.” The subtext remains lost on Jack, who insists that it’s just a nice song about a boy with a magical dragon named Puff.
“I Just Figured, If You’re Gonna Follow In Someone’s Footsteps, Who Better Than Christ?” - Kevin
After finding out that Pam was engaged to Kevin, played by regular Stiller collaborator Owen Wilson, Greg is even more shocked to learn that Pam’s family still hangs out with Kevin all the time and that he’s by far their favorite of Pam’s boyfriends.
When they go to Kevin’s mansion for some barbecue and volleyball, he shows off the extravagant altar he’s carved out of a single block of wood for Bob and Debbie’s wedding. Greg asks Kevin what inspired him to become a carpenter and he explains that he wanted to emulate Jesus Christ.
“I Will Bring You Down. I Will Bring You Down To Chinatown.” - Jack
When Jack finds Denny’s pipe – or, as Jack calls it, “a device for smoking marijuana” – Denny claims that it’s Greg’s, which doesn't sit well with Jack.
Jack corners Greg in a changing room and threatens to bring him “down to Chinatown” in a reference to the ‘30s classic “Minnie the Moocher.” Jack‘s outdated pop culture references point to his outdated worldview.
“I Was Scared Of Your Dad Back When I Thought He Was A Florist. It’s Wonderful To Know That I’ve Actually Got A CIA Spy-Hunter On My A**.” - Greg
Greg’s first attempt to impress Jack is bringing him a rare flower as a gift because Pam told him her dad was a florist. However, Greg is later dismayed to learn that being a florist is just her dad’s cover for his 30-year career as a CIA profiler.
An astonished Greg tells Pam that he was terrified of her father when he thought he sold flowers for a living; it ups the ante a little to find out he’s actually the hard-as-nails badass sent by the CIA to weed out double agents.
“I Have Nipples, Greg, Could You Milk Me?” - Jack
Greg has to improvise when he says he grew up in a cramped apartment in Detroit and Jack reminds him that he mentioned living on a farm earlier in the day. He makes up a story about his family owning a farm in Detroit where be used to milk cats.
Jack didn’t think that was possible, but Greg assures him, “You can milk just about anything with nipples.” Robert De Niro’s deadpan timing makes Jack’s reaction hysterical.
“Don’t You Think The Samsonite People, In Some Crazy Scheme To Turn A Profit, Made More Than One Black Suitcase?” - Greg
One of the many unfortunate events that beset Greg while he’s visiting his girlfriend’s parents is the airline losing his luggage. He has to borrow all his clothes (including pajamas) from Jack’s old-fashioned wardrobe and spends the whole weekend on and off the phone with customer service people.
When the airline drops off a suitcase, Greg is disheartened to learn that it’s somebody else’s bag of the same Samsonite model as his. He calls the airline and angrily tells them that maybe, “in some crazy scheme to turn a profit,” Samsonite produced more than one of each of their products.