There are no characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe quite like Tony Stark. Irreverent and bitingly sarcastic, he is one of those people that it would be very easy to dislike but, because he’s so incredibly charming, he manages to cast a spell unlike almost any other hero. What’s more, he also goes on to make the greatest sacrifice in the battle against Thanos and his vision to bend the universe to his will.
On top of everything else, he also happens to have quite a sharp sense of humor, and he has many very humorous quotes to his name.
“Give Me A Scotch. I’m Starving.”
One of the most notable things about Tony Stark is that he’s not afraid to say what he wants, and that includes being upfront when he wants to imbibe some liquid refreshment.
In this case, what makes the quote so amusing is that he’s essentially admitting that, rather than actually eating anything, he’s just going to have a scotch call it a day. He may not be the best role model at times, but at least he knows himself well enough to realize what he desires at a given moment.
“Better Clench Up, Legolas.”
Tony Stark is one of those people who seems to take a lot of pleasure in insulting people in ways that he knows will get under their skin, and there’s no one who is immune from his sarcasm. That includes Hawkeye, who is the butt of the joke in this particular instance.
Of course, it doesn’t help that Tony is comparing Hawkeye to the very pretty Legolas of The Lord of the Rings, though in its own way it’s also a compliment (since Legolas was a very renowned archer). This is sure to be regarded as one of the funniest insults in the MCU.
“I Told You. I Don’t Want To Join Your Super Secret Boy Band.”
It takes a very brave sort of person to go head-to-head with Nick Fury (one of Samuel L. Jackson’s best roles), but that’s just what Tony does with this sassy line.
Of course, he has to demonstrate, to himself as much as to Nick, that he sees the Avengers as not worth taking seriously, which is why he decides to refer to them as a boy band rather than a name more likely to convey heroism.
“I’m A Huge Fan Of The Way You Lose Control And Turn Into An Enormous Green Rage Monster.”
Any time that Tony Stark encounters someone new, he seems unable to resist a quip or a sarcastic remark, usually finding just the right point of sensitivity. In this case, he goes right for the jugular when he meets the Hulk, and though he seems to be admiring Banner’s (in)ability to control his anger, it’s clear that he’s having a joke at the other man’s expense.
It is funny, to be sure, but it also shows that there is always an edge to Tony’s approach to others.
“Iron Man. That’s Kind Of Catchy. It’s Got A Nice Ring To It. I Mean It’s Not Technically Accurate. The Suit’s A Gold Titanium Alloy, But It’s Kind Of Provocative, The Imagery Anyway.”
In addition to having a wicked sense of humor about other people’s flaws and foibles, Tony Stark also has a tendency to be pedantic. It’s a liberty that is at least a bit understandable, given that he is undeniably a genius and deserves credit for his leadership abilities.
What’s more, it’s hard not to laugh at Tony of all people pointing out that the name that has become as iconic as the suit itself is, in fact, something of a misnomer.
“Doth Mother Know You Weareth Her Drapes?”
If there’s one person that Tony should at least have some respect for, it would have to be Thor who is, after all, one of the strongest characters in the MCU. However, that doesn’t keep Tony from mocking him in Shakespearean terms and, given Thor’s own relationship with his mother, it’s a comment that has a bit of an edge to it.
But given that it’s Tony who’s delivering it, it doesn’t come across quite as cruel as it might if it were someone else hurling this particular insult.
“‘Mr. Stark Displays Textbook Narcissism’… Agreed.”
Tony Stark is many things, but he isn’t blind to his own faults and flaws, which is precisely what makes this quote both very funny and, in its own way, tragic. He recognizes that he displays the traits that one associates with narcissism and, rather than defending himself or getting angry, he simply admits that it’s the truth.
Fans can’t help but admire someone with his powers and abilities being willing to admit their own personality shortcomings.
“So You’re This Spider-Ling? Crime-Fighting Spider? Spider-Boy?”
One of the most heartwarming relationships in the MCU is that between Tony Stark and Peter Parker. It’s clear that Parker looks up to Stark, just as it’s clear that Stark sees something in Parker’s youthful innocence and desire to be a good man and a hero.
However, that doesn’t keep Stark from being his usual ironic self when he encounters Peter Parker, referring to him, rather dismissively, as “Spider-Boy.” It’s textbook Tony Stark, and that’s what makes it such a great quote. Theirs is definitely one of the best friendships in the MCU.
Actually He's The Boss. [Points To Captain America] I Just Pay For Everything And Design Everything, Make Everyone Look Cooler."
Though he has a tendency to be casually cruel to almost everyone, it has to be said that Tony isn’t any kinder when it comes to himself. In fact, he admits to a rather grudging respect for Captain America, as this demonstrates.
At the same time, he also can’t resist the chance to make it clear that he really does pay for everything and that he has a rock star glamor that is undeniably his own and that gives the Avengers a cool factor.
“Is It Better To Be Feared Or Respected? I Say, Is It Too Much To Ask For Both?"
The question of whether it is better to be feared or respected is one that has haunted leaders for centuries, and so of course Tony would want to ponder it, too. This being Tony Stark, however, he's not going to just come down on one side or the other.
In this very humorous quip, he makes it clear, once again, that he's not going to settle for anything less than what he sees as his due, and if anyone in the MCU is destined to be both feared and respected, it's him.