Marvel’s What If…? thrusts fans into dark alternate timelines where things often go terribly wrong because of slight differences in the universes’ events. In between fending off the deadly zombies and saving the multiverse, the witty characters still manage to crack a few jokes.
The funniest lines from the series perfectly capture the characters’ optimism despite their dire situations. Humor has become an essential part of the MCU, after all, as it makes it easy for viewers to empathize and cheer for the superheroes and sidekicks. With their latest series’ conclusion, it’s the perfect time to delve into the funnier side of What If…?.
“Star-Lord! I’m A Huge Fan.” – Korath The Pursuer
In a scene straight out of Guardians of the Galaxy, fans see Star-Lord entering the chamber on Morag in an attempt to retrieve an Orb. This time, it’s T’Challa’s version of Star-Lord who encounters Korath the Pursuer.
Instead of asking “Who?” as he does with Peter Quill, Korath immediately recognizes T’Challa. The outlaw has made a name for himself across the universe thanks to his generous acts and Korath is just one of his many fans, much to T’Challa’s surprise. It’s “not the reaction” he was expecting and the moment becomes even more comical when Korath begs the hero to hire him.
“He's A Caucasian Male, Mid-Twenties With... Really Great Hair.” – Agent Phil Coulson
Nick Fury and his team uncover the location of the mysterious Mjolnir in episode 3. They’re puzzled by the item’s origins, especially since according to Hawkeye, “not even Jackson” can lift it, “and he does CrossFit.”
They finally have a suspect when a man shows up out of nowhere and heads straight for the hammer, beating up several agents in his path. As Agent Phil Coulson is telling Fury about the unknown assailant over a walkie-talkie, he catches a glimpse of the attractive intruder’s long hair. Fury is hilariously taken aback by Coulson’s comment and is only able to respond with an exasperated “Excuse me?”
“Come, This Way, Sorcerer Armani.” – O’Bengh
In “What If… Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands,” the Sorcerer Supreme finds himself in a jungle after his dramatic faceoff against the Ancient One. Here, he’s greeted by O’Bengh, who makes a comment about his clothing, saying Stephen is the “strangest-dressed sorcerer” he’s ever seen.
Strange doesn’t know exactly how to respond to this remark, so he simply states, “Yeah, it’s Armani.” The librarian hilariously interprets this to mean Strange's name is Armani. Stephen tries to correct him by saying “No, it’s Strange,” but only gets O’Bengh to respond with “Not any stranger than any other name in this world.”
“Blam Blam Blam!” – Happy Hogan
Happy Hogan has a powerful repulsor glove from his old boss and he’s not afraid to show it off in episode 5. As he walks around Grand Central Terminal with Sharon Carter, she points out the fact that he keeps saying “Blam,” which Hogan pretends to be oblivious about.
Hogan unexpectedly gets pulled into the darkness, still amusingly shouting “Blam” as he disappears from Carter’s view. It’s soon revealed that he has unfortunately been infected by one of the strongest MCU zombies, Hawkeye. Hogan still says “Blam” in slow-mo as a zombie, though, which makes the scene a tad less painful to watch.
“Do You Guys Just Not Have Horror Movies In Wakanda?” – Spider-Man
Peter Parker likely thinks he’s the only one with common sense in the episode “What If… Zombies!?,” as he questions the idea of splitting up and scouring different areas of Grand Central Terminal to find a way to hot-wire the train.
The only thing funnier than Spider-Man’s remark about horror movies is Okoye’s witty response, as she just stares at him and says “We don’t need them. We have American reality shows,” in the most deadpan way. Fans probably couldn’t help but laugh and agree with Kurt Goreshter, who rightfully points out how the Wakandan’s comment is a “solid burn” on all of them.
“What? I Like Anime.” – Killmonger
Erik Killmonger and Tony Stark are getting along well in episode 6, thanks to Killmonger’s successful rescue of the billionaire in Afghanistan. To return the favor, Stark not only invites Killmonger to join his company, but he also offers to build his Liberator model from his doctoral thesis.
There’s an entertaining moment that highlights a non-Marvel Easter egg in What If…? when Stark pulls up an image of one of these models, only to find out it looks suspiciously like a Gundam character. The pair shrug off the design choice, with Stark saying the“worst-case scenario” is that they build the “world’s most expensive Gundam model” — unfortunately, fans know something far more terrible happens to the billionaire in this episode.
“Hey Look Everyone, A Party Pooper!” – Thor
Thor isn’t too happy about Captain Marvel showing up in episode 7, as she proves to be a formidable foe who’s determined to put an end to the only child’s worldwide party. Carol Danvers, unfortunately, can’t give the fight everything she’s got, as she wouldn’t want to “blow a crater in this planet.”
The God of Thunder gets a chance to subdue her in front of a crowd and decides to put her on “a time-out,” which just means leaving Mjolnir on her for a while. He can’t resist the urge to gloat a bit and encourages everyone to mock Carol with this quote, which starts a deafening chant from the crowd as they point and shout “Pooper! Pooper!” at the embarrassed Captain Marvel.
“Listen, Skynet, I’ve Seen The Killer Robot Movie And I Gotta Say, I Really Don’t Think It Needs A Sequel.” – Captain Marvel
In the episode “What If… Ultron Won?,” there’s a harrowing sequence showing the rogue AI destroying planets across the galaxy, one after another. This is temporarily stopped by Captain Marvel who swoops in just as the villain is about to annihilate Xandar.
The optimistic moment is made even better with this reference to The Terminator from Carol, who won’t be too glad to learn that there are, in fact, several sequels she missed out on. The funny quote gives the audience some breathing room, but only for a short while. Not even the mighty Captain Marvel is strong enough to take down Ultron in this episode.
“Viva Las Vegas!” – Thor
Thor is feeling overconfident as usual in the final episode of the show and his arrogance results in one of the best quotes in What If…? The God of Thunder charges towards Ultron, deviating from the plan.
As he pulls his hammer back to prepare for a lightning strike, he bellows out this humorous line, only to be disappointed when Ultron isn’t affected by his attack. Even the rogue AI is slightly amused by Thor’s obsession with Las Vegas, telling the Norse god that he “can’t say” he’s “heard that battle cry before.”
“Hang Back With The, Uh, Giant Baby Man Cape Dude.” – Peter Quill
When Uatu the Watcher starts to pluck the Guardians of the Multiverse from their timelines in the final episode, he witnesses a comical scene in Star-Lord’s universe. T’Challa is busy telling Peter Quill to stay out of his fight with Ego, who was beginning his expansion in the nearby restaurant.
Quill, who never had the chance to discover the planets and galaxies beyond Earth, is understandably shaken by the whole ordeal. He can do nothing but agree with the strange hero telling him what to do and nonchalantly points out the floating “baby man cape dude” up in the sky — just another rough day at work for the Wendy’s employee.