Aunt May often doesn’t get the praise that she deserves. She might not be a superhero, but she’s a much more iconic comic book character than most superheroes. In a sense, she does have a superpower — the power to dole out guidance and wisdom when Peter Parker needs it the most. So far we’ve had two fantastic on-screen portrayals of Aunt May (and one forgettable one that the writers just ripped off from Harris’ interpretation, which wasn’t Sally Field’s fault), courtesy of Rosemary Harris in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy and Marisa Tomei in the MCU. So, here are 5 Reasons Marisa Tomei Is The Best Aunt May (And 5 Why It’ll Always Be Rosemary Harris).
Marisa Tomei: More involved in Peter’s life
For most of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy, Peter Parker wasn’t living in Aunt May’s house. He only ever saw her if he went over for dinner or needed some advice. Since the MCU has given us a Spider-Man that’s actually a teenager, he still lives with Aunt May, so Marisa Tomei’s May is much more involved in his life. If Peter doesn’t come home after school, she wants to know where he is; she wants to eat dinner with him and talk to him about his day. Tomei’s May is an involved parental figure, which is what May should be.
Rosemary Harris: Better at giving Peter advice
A lot of kids who grew up with Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy took Aunt May’s advice to Peter to heart, because that version of the character was always wise and Rosemary Harris was always compelling. (And it’s not easy to be compelling when you’re in a big-budget superhero blockbuster and you have to give a long, unwieldy monologue about life.) Harris always did a great job of giving Peter the advice he needed to hear, like when he was struggling to make it in the adult world and she told him, “Sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.”
Marisa Tomei: Better at talking to Peter on his level
In Spider-Man: Homecoming, after Peter ignored a call from May on the ferry and then screwed up so badly that Tony Stark took his suit back, he returns home and May says, “Cut the bulls**t. I know you left detention. I know you left the hotel room in Washington. I know you sneak out of this house every night. That’s not fine. Peter, you have to tell me what’s going on! Just lay it out. It's just me and you.” It’s hard to imagine Harris’ May saying something like this, and when Tomei’s May says it, Peter realizes she’s not as easy to trick as he thought and she wants him to be honest with her.
Rosemary Harris: She wasn’t sexualized
One of the main criticisms levied at the MCU’s version of Aunt May (and it’s not Marisa Tomei’s fault) is that she’s sexualized. Marvel took the one female character in the history of comic books who isn’t typically sexualized and they sexualized her.
Casting a younger Aunt May was a smart move, because it feels more realistic, especially since they were also casting a younger Peter Parker, but it wasn’t necessary to have Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, the larb waiter, and every other male character she encounters incessantly hit on her and ogle her. After a while, it becomes tiresome.
Marisa Tomei: She’s funnier
Rosemary Harris’ Aunt May had a few little moments of comic relief in the Raimi movies, like when she kicked Joel McHale under the table at the bank and when she hit Doc Ock with her umbrella, but on the whole, she was serious. There’s nothing wrong with that, but humor goes a long way, especially in Spider-Man stories. With the Jon Watts movies being John Hughes-inspired high school comedies, Marisa Tomei’s Aunt May is the funniest on-screen incarnation of the character. From intentionally making jokes like, “You know I larb you,” to unintentionally using phrases like, “Peter tingle,” Tomei has always delivered May’s lines hilariously.
Rosemary Harris: She had an Uncle Ben to mourn
A huge part of Aunt May’s character is that she’s a widow. She’s struggling to move on from the death of her husband, who was the most important part of her life for many years. Rosemary Harris showed the full range of May’s grief, from the immediate loss to accepting that he’s gone to finding out that Peter could’ve stopped it to eventually making peace with the whole ordeal, and we followed her on that journey. There have been hints that Marisa Tomei’s May has lost her husband (e.g. the “BFP” suitcase, “Everything that’s happened with her...” etc.), but it hasn’t been directly addressed, and the character feels less layered as a result.
Marisa Tomei: She knows Peter’s identity
In a few different incarnations of Spider-Man in the comics, Aunt May has known Peter Parker’s secret identity, and it’s always been interesting for the stories. In the Raimi movies, Rosemary Harris’ Aunt May never found out that Peter was Spider-Man. The closest she came to finding out was when Peter confessed that he was partly responsible for Uncle Ben’s death.
In the first Watts movie, on the other hand, May caught Peter in his Spider-Man costume right before the end credits rolled. In Spider-Man: Far From Home, she was shown to support Peter’s life as Spidey, and even packs his costume to take on vacation.
Rosemary Harris: More realistic economic struggles
One of the cornerstones of the Spider-Man character is his low-class upbringing. Rather than living in a mansion and sleeping on a pile of cash like Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker lives in a tiny house in Queens with his financially struggling aunt. However, Rosemary Harris’ May’s economic struggles have always seemed a lot more realistic than Marisa Tomei’s May’s. Harris’ May couldn’t live on Ben’s pension, failed to make mortgage payments, and got screwed over by bankers. The apartment that Tomei’s May lives in is huge. It’s the same size as another famous on-screen New York apartment that its tenants couldn’t afford — Rachel and Monica’s apartment from Friends.
Marisa Tomei: Updated May for the 21st century
Sam Raimi and Rosemary Harris faithfully adapted Aunt May as she debuted in the ‘60s, but the strength of long-running comic books has always been the form’s ability to continually update well-rounded characters for a contemporary setting. Marisa Tomei’s Aunt May has the spirit of the original character, but the social attitudes of a 21st century legal guardian. It’s often said that the MCU has adapted the Ultimates universe as opposed to the originals, since the point of the Ultimates was to clear up the timelines and reboot the characters for the 21st century, but a lot of controversial decisions were made in the Ultimates universe. What Kevin Feige has done with the MCU is a better version of what the Ultimates universe was going for.
Rosemary Harris: “I believe there’s a hero in all of us...”
In Spider-Man 2, Rosemary Harris’ Aunt May managed to sum up both her own character and Peter’s in a monologue to him at his lowest point. He’s about to give up his life of heroism, but he’s put back on the right track when May says, “Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they’ll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there’s a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride.”