It’s hard to think that just a couple of years ago, the Guardians of the Galaxy were thought to be one of the most obscure Marvel Comics properties. Now, two movies and an Avengers appearance later, they’re among the most beloved and iconic characters in the MCU. Thanks to the comedic tone, exciting intergalactic adventures, and the performances of Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, et al, their fan base has grown immeasurably in the years since their first film in 2014.
These are some of the funniest characters in the MCU. So, here are the 10 Best Quotes From The Guardians Of The Galaxy Movies.
10 On Being A Watcher
“Oh, man. Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted...At that time, I was a Federal Express man...”
This fun little nugget in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 confirmed a theory that fans had long held about the MCU. Based on the fact that Stan Lee cameos as a different character in every movie in the MCU, fans theorized that he was a Watcher – an interdimensional being who was keeping an eye on all the Avengers. In this scene, as he tells the other Watchers about his adventures on Earth, he all but confirms the fan theory, which is a nice Easter egg.
9 On Footloose
“On my planet, there’s a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that dancing, well...it’s the greatest thing there is.”
A lot of viewers didn’t get this joke when the movie first came out in 2014, because most of the viewers were little kids and teenagers. They had no idea who Kevin Bacon was or what Footloose was. But those who did get it laughed hysterically. Footloose is the closest thing Earth has right now to an ancient legend.
8 On Drax’s Famously Large Turds
“You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.” “Oh, it won’t be my turd. It’ll be Drax’s.” “I have famously huge turds.”
In the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Drax the Destroyer is depicted as a Marvel universe version of Kratos. He’s a tattooed badass who’s lost his whole family and now spends his days seeking revenge against those responsible. However, by the second movie, he’d be re-characterized as the comic relief. Instead of talking about his bloodlust, he was talking about how his turds are “famously huge” as Rocket threatened to leave one of them in Peter Quill’s bed.
7 On Groot’s Language
“He said, ‘Welcome to the frickin’ Guardians of the Galaxy.’ Only he didn’t use ‘frickin’.’ We’re gonna have to have a serious talk about your language!”
Since Rocket is the only one who can understand what Groot’s really saying when he says, “I am Groot,” we can only ascertain what he’s saying from how Rocket responds to it. A lot of humor has been mined from that. This is a great example, as Rocket waters down the swearing as he relays what Groot said. We learn something new about Groot (he swears a lot) and how Rocket feels about it (he doesn’t approve).
6 On Standing In A Circle
“Well, now I’m standing. Happy? We’re all standing now.”
Rocket Raccoon is one of the most cynical characters in the MCU. When the movies dig deep into that, we see that he’s gained his cynicism from years of being rejected from society and getting no respect from anyone and spending a lot of time on his own.
But when they don’t, we just get funny lines like this one. He’s even cynical about standing in a circle with the rest of the team. That’s a great sign about the hopes for their teamwork.
5 On How Bad You Can Be
“He said that he’s ‘an a-hole,’ but he’s not – and I’m quoting him here – ‘100% a d**k.’”
“Do you believe him?”
“Well, I don’t believe anyone is 100% a d**k, ma’am.”
It was not only great casting to get Glenn Close to play Nova Prime, it was also great casting to get John C. Reilly to play Rhomann Dey. While he’s best known for his comedic roles in movies like Step Brothers and Talladega Nights, he’s also played dramatic roles in Paul Thomas Anderson movies. He nails the humanity of the Rhomann Dey character, but he also nails the funny.
4 On The Middle Finger Machine
“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know how this machine works...”
The Marvel movies tend to avoid anything that’s risqué and not family-friendly, especially since Disney took over, because, first and foremost, these are movies for kids. But they seem to make an exception for the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.
There’s a scene in the first one as they’re all taken to prison where Peter Quill does the hand-cranked middle finger thing to the guards and then tells them, “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know how this machine works...” Chris Pratt was known as a great improviser on Parks and Rec, and here, he brings those skills to the big screen.
3 On Taserface
“I’m sorry. I am so sorry – I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, sir, looking in the mirror, and in all seriousness, saying to yourself, ‘You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!’ That’s how I hear you in my head! What was your second choice? Scrotumhat?!”
There’s a lot of meta, self-referential humor in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies that pokes fun at some of the sillier names in that universe. Taserface is a genuine character from the comic books, and he’s now best known for Rocket laughing at his name. The same thing happened with Star-Lord, the outlaw name Peter Quill gave himself – but that one grew on us over time.
2 On Having A Plan
“I have a plan.”
“You’ve got a plan?”
“First of all, you’re copying me from when I said I had a plan.”
“No, I’m not! People say that all the time, it’s not that unique of a thing to say.”
“Secondly, I don’t even believe you have a plan.”
“I have...part of a plan!”
“What percentage of a plan do you have?”
“I dunno. Twelve percent.”
This was our first introduction to the kind of argumentative banter with an improvisational tone that sets the Guardians of the Galaxy movies apart from other superhero movies. It’s like It’s Always Sunny or Curb Your Enthusiasm set in space.
1 On Being Groot
“We are Groot.”
All throughout the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Groot only ever says, “I am Groot.” Rocket even explains how this works: “Well, he don’t know talking good like me and you. So, his vocabulistics is limited to ‘I’ and ‘am’ and ‘Groot.’ Exclusively in that order.” He’s the only one who can understand what the different inflections of the phrase “I am Groot” mean. Despite this, Groot became a beloved character by the end, which added extra emotional punch to his sacrifice – especially because he says, “We are Groot.” It’s a good thing he came back, because we couldn’t live without him.