Martial arts films have a reputation for being stunning spectacles of high stakes action, but all too often, they can be light on plot. In fact, many have stories that are downright incomprehensible and characters entirely devoid of personality. This is particularly true of older martial arts films.
Despite the camp, plot holes, bad acting, and even worse elements found in these movies, they are still enjoyable. In fact, because the fights involve real martial arts feats instead of CGI, they are even more impressive. And sometimes, the bad bits are so awful that they come about full circle in a roundhouse kick of pure awesomeness. These ten old martial arts movies are so bad they're actually great:
Crippled Avengers (1978)
This kung fu classic is one of those rare movies so desperately out of touch with the times that it simultaneously managed to be ahead of its time and a truly nightmarish assault on common sensibilities.
It has gone by a number of names, including The Return of the Five Deadly Venoms, but its real name, Crippled Avengers, emphasizes the "crippled" part in a way that is at once ableist and inclusive. The film stars five martial artists who all have some form of disability as they ready themselves to undergo a quest for kung fu vengeance.
Shogun Assassin (1980)
This jidaigeki is simultaneously the best and worst of samurai cinema. It is actually stitched together from two separate films, Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance and Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (which is perhaps the best title of anything ever to include the word "baby").
The movie's protagonist is skilled assassin, Ogami Itto, who travels with his son Daigoro, carving their way through throngs of enemies in an arterial bloodbath of screaming carnage. The violence is unnecessarily over-the-top, but it is worth watching for such campy fight scenes as Ogami murdering ninja with a weaponized baby stroller.
3 Ninjas (1992)
The original 3 Ninjas film attempted to capture the spirit of earlier works like The Karate Kid, making a movie with a respect for martial arts and their surrounding philosophies while also appealing to kids. The three main characters are brothers trained by their Japanese grandfather in the ancient arts of ninjutsu.
Eventually, the boys clash with the professional criminals their FBI agent father is taking on. While movies about children fighting actual gangsters with slapstick action are bad enough, 3 Ninjas somehow spawned three sequels of progressively worsening quality.
Street Fighter (1994)
The 90s were a weird time for Hollywood, which--always hungry for new material--began cannibalizing video games and comics to spit out generic action movies with forgettable plots and unforgettably bad acting. A prime example of this trend is the live-action Street Fighter adaptation.
Of course, characters from the video game appear, with Jean-Claude van Damme playing Guile in an accent so bad he would be better without a speaking role. Fan-favorite characters like Chun-Li, Ryu, and the villain M Bison are equally awful, making this an unintentional comedy where the punchline is comprised of hilariously bad acting and scene composition.
The One (2001)
Among the various knockoffs trying to capitalize on the success of The Matrix, The One is perhaps the least subtle in its choice of title. But don't worry. The rest of the movie is equally ham-fisted.
While the movie attempts pseudo-philosophical jargon with a plot loosely involving multiple realities, this devolves into bad CGI sci-fi, casual homophobia, and airborne kicks which have little rhyme or reason. What makes this film truly dates is how Jet Li's amazing stunts are undercut by the dated special effects meant to enhance them.
Blade (1998)
Most people do not consider Blade to fall within the martial arts genre. It is, after all, a vampire movie. And a superhero movie. And a gothic noir movie. But all of the awesome fight scenes showcasing Wesley Snipes's swordsmanship and karate kicks make this a martial arts movie too.
The bad CGI and cliched story are unremarkable, but what makes this amazingly awful in the best of ways are the fantastic combat stunts that accomplish absolutely nothing and a series of one-liners that make audiences pause to contemplate whether the dialogue is brilliant or terrible. To quote the man himself, "some motherf*ckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."
Double Dragon (1994)
Like Street Fighter, Double Dragon is an attempt by early 90s Hollywood to make a mindless action video game into a serious sci-fi martial arts blockbuster. Set in the distant future year of 2007, the world is filled with references that are hilariously off the mark...or shockingly accurate.
Ancient prophecies about a mystical artifact, punk-inspired gangs, and a cadre of children living on their own cram together with every other trope the producers could squeeze into the script. On top of all that, the martial arts aren't even good.
Shaolin Soccer (2001)
Most movies on this list are great because they are unintentionally bad. Shaolin Soccer intended to be bad all along, making it a comedic masterpiece among martial arts movies.
It hits all the beats of a 90s PG sports for kids, an early 2000s PG-13 Matrix knockoff, and the power attacks of every shonen anime ever to appear on Cartoon Network, all while delivering a genuinely fun time.
Surf Ninjas (1993)
Surf Ninjas feels like the sort of thing that a marketing department put together after polling kids on what buzzwords excite them. The two brothers are orphans whose real parents royalty. Raised as California surfers by their adoptive dad, they fight with martial arts and video games to reclaim their ninja kingdom from an evil ninja cyborg despot.
Of all the movies that desperately tried to gain the attention of 90s kids, this may be the 90s-est. It is a radical gnarly ninja-filled summer vacation of surfing, bad stunts, and worse acting.
Rush Hour (1998)
In fairness, Rush Hour is far better than most of the films on this list. Its plot involves the fallout of Hong Kong ceasing to be a British territory as it rejoins mainland China, while having Jackie Chan play a Hong Kong agent operating on US soil alongside comic foil Chris Tucker.
The film is also hopelessly dated. From casual use of the N-word to the romanticism of police brutality, this movie swings along a pendulum between being smartly funny and cringe-inducingly out of touch.