If you were to put a mirror up to society in the late eighties and early nineties, Kelly Bundy and the response to the character would be someone to look at again in a new light. Christina Applegate was barely a teenager and the crowds were hooting and hollering for her whenever Kelly entered a room.
She was also one of the big icons of the time. Nowadays though, there are certain things about Kelly that wouldn’t work at all. Here are 10 things about Kelly that would never fly today.
Clothing
In nearly every episode, Kelly would wear clothes that plenty of men enjoyed, hence the ridiculous amount of cheers from the crowd. The tighter the better, the leather the better. It was all to exhibit seemingly the one thing that Kelly was good at - using her feminine whiles to get whatever she wanted.
While women can wear whatever they want, it’s doubtful that sponsors and certain segments of the audience would be ok with someone wearing outfits merely for the benefit of men.
Intelligence
Kelly’s a dullard, plain and simple. She started out as just a rebellious teen. By a few years in, she was a complete moron.
Not only did she have little to no intelligence, but all of the characters on the show also had no problem either making fun of her for it or using Kelly for their own amusement, including convincing her that the story of Moby Dick was the TV show, Mr. Ed. On another occasion, she was invited to a Mensa party, but only for the geniuses to ridicule her.
Promiscuity
The cultural world has been trying to curb underage sex for years. Kelly Bundy did nothing to help that issue. Just about every week, she’d show up with some new slacker and all kinds of insinuations from Bud would be made. Thankfully, protecting his little girl was one of Al’s good qualities and every boyfriend would find his head slammed into the door before being heaved out of the house. Al didn’t like it then, the world wouldn’t like it now.
Bullied Other Girls
She might have done it to stand up for her brother, but Kelly’s treatment of Heather McCoy should have gotten her expelled then! She beat the heck out of her before tying her up to the lockers in just a towel. One another occasion after a fellow model stole her move, The Bundy Bounce - Kelly took her out too. She might have been in the right to do so, but the show’s writers would have certainly come up with different scenarios these days.
Mocked Her Brother’s Social Life
Again, the issue of underage sex was an issue in the nineties, but not one that Married...With Children wouldn’t poke at for comedy. Bud was the only school smart Bundy of the bunch.
However, he was also the only one who seemingly had never been with a woman. Instead of applauding that behavior, Bud was a lecherous young man. Kelly meanwhile, would brutally rip into him about it every chance she got.
Hosts A Massive Party At The Rhoades
Early on in the show, Kelly and Bud still needed a babysitter when Al and Peg headed for a night out. They were told no parties. But instead, Kelly was able to convince the Rhoades to allow a few friends over.
What happened next was a massive rager that would scare any babysitter off of having children forever. It certainly scares Steve and Marcy, left anxiously staring out of their own window, waiting for Al and Peg to come home.
Cheats At Poker
As Al and Steve took Bud and his friends camping, Peggy and Marcy hosted a poker game. But instead of just trading a few pennies back and forth, Kelly joined in and wound up taking everyone’s money. Everyone accused her of cheating and Peggy stood up for her, actually she lied for her. Kelly took housewives’ grocery money so that she could go to a concert.
Dirty Dancing At School
Kelly and her friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of “the nerds and the dweebs” in the dance class at school. As part of her punishment, she had to take a tap class and put on a show.
Instead, she practically hooked up with the school’s janitor on stage and engaged in dancing that would have made Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze blush. Her performance also had all of the wives in the aisles hot for their husbands. There’s no chance this episode would have made air today.
Hustled Pool
Much of Kelly’s overall persona wouldn’t fly on TV today. She wanted to get a new dress but Al couldn’t afford it. Instead, she dressed in skin-tight leather outfits and had Jefferson calling the shots.
While this wasn’t what you might think, it was Kelly hanging out at seedy pool clubs and hustling poor saps out of their money.
Underage Drinking
It didn’t happen too often on the show, but considering she was practically a latchkey kid, Kelly was able to get her hands on a beer from time to time. Married...With Children made no bones about the reality some kids went through growing up.
Instead of any sort of after-school special type of episode, Kelly just casually drank and if she caught would burp and hand back her drink.