Lois and Hal are one sitcom's most iconic couple. The hot-tempered, smart mother and the goofy, loving father, Lois and Hal made a perfect couple, playing yin and yang as both partners and parents. Today, Malcolm In The Middle is best remembered for portraying the American working class, and family life that can get a bit out of hand.
Yet, even with a very tough financial situation, and four (later five) unruly sons causing them constant headaches, the couple stays together, and manages to love each other no matter what. Although not without flaws, Hal and Lois are couple goals for fans of the show.
Couple Goals: Lois Accepts Hal Completely
Malcolm In The Middle's first episode sets the stage for Lois and Hal's marriage. One of the very first scenes opens with a close-up shot of Lois shaving Hal's back hair. Hal is completely nude, as Lois shaves off his entire body with clippers. On the radio, Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing is playing in the background, and the couple sing along unironically.
As is typical of every episode, Malcolm addresses viewers directly, wearily adding that, "they do this every month. He has sensitive skin. The hair gets itchy under his clothes." Lois thoughtfully adds that Hal's hair can be used by birds to make a nest.
Couple Nos: Hal Doesn't Know His Wife Very Well
On Valentine's Day, Hal laments that Lois will not tell him what she wants for the holiday. She has always told him what to get, and Hal panics, because she refuses to give him so much as a clue. He is terrified that he would bring home a gift she hates, making him look like a jerk.
After a while, the family head to the mall, where Hal searches aimlessly for a gift for his wife. Feeling distressed and at a loss, he steals the gift that another man purchases for his wife and runs maniacally out of the mall. Upon reaching a safe spot, Hal checks the bag only to realize that he stole the wrong bag. Dejected, Hal weeps and screams at the same time.
Couple Goals: They Have A Great Love Life
During a poker episode with his boys, Hal is constantly bested by the other men, who each have bigger gadgets, nicer cars, and better careers than he does. By the end of the night, Hal feels like a loser. Nonetheless, he is victorious when he reveals that he and Lois have a great love life in the bedroom, making time for each other thrice a day.
In another episode, Lois and Hal are dangerously close to getting a divorce after non-stop arguments. They later discover that this is because the whole family moved into a caravan while their house is being fumigated, leaving the couple no personal space to be with each other.
Couple Nos: Hal Doesn't Let Lois Rest
While the Wilkerson couple have a great love life, there are many episodes that demonstrate how Hal's appetite is sometimes overwhelming for Lois. Unfortunately for his wife, Hal finds even the most mundane things she does attractive, such as putting on a baseball cap. Not surprisingly, Lois ends up pregnant in later episodes, despite the couple's many precautions.
As a matter of fact, Hal tells Lois that he is OK with her loving him less than he loves her. He reasons that if she loved him equally as much as he loved her, they would never leave the bedroom.
Couple Goals: They Present A United Front
Hal and Lois always try to present a united front in front of their children. Although Hal is a big softie, he is tough on his children when he needs to be, backing Lois up in most of her punishments against the kids. In an especially funny scene, Francis emancipates himself and quits military school. Amusingly, his parents have paid large sums in fees for his educations. Francis returns home expecting his parents to be accepting of his situation, boasting that he is now a grown adult. Instead, he comes home to an angry father chasing him around the neighborhood, in the hopes of beating him up.
Couple Nos: Hal Sabotages His Wife's Weight Loss
Lois' pregnancy brings newer storylines and renewed energy to the show. One such story is her' weight gain. Too tired to work during her last pregnancy, she quits her job to focus on her health. This brings a new problem for her when she gains weight. Hal, on the other hand, likes his wife's new weight gain, because she is thicker. Not wanting to tell his wife, who is exercising rigorously to lose weight, Hal begins injecting extra sugar and butter into his wife's diet food behind her back. He essentially sabotages his wife's health for his own pleasure. Rightfully, the episode ends with Lois catching him in the act.
Couple Goals: Hal Helps Lois Deal With Her Trauma
Lois and Francis have a dysfunctional mother-son relationship. Francis blames Lois for being a bad mother, and Lois blames Francis for being a bad son. Through the vortex of blame and shame, both characters are unable to dig deeper into why their relationship is so broken. When a war between Francis and Lois goes too far, Hal is forthright with his wife and asks her why she is always battling her child.
Lois hesitates, but after Hal encourages her, she admits that she dislikes her son, because he did not miss her as a baby when she was in hospital. By speaking the words aloud, Lois is able to let the hurt go, acknowledging that she cannot blame a kid for not missing its mother.
Couple Nos: Hal Misses Work Every Friday For 15 Years
A corporate drone, Hal works in a gray office in a gray building, in a gray cubicle. The company's owners get into legal trouble for fraud. To protect themselves, they decide to blame it all on the grayest, blandest employee they can find. They choose Hal.
Nonetheless, Malcolm breaks the case when he recollects that the dates Hal is accused of federal fraud are all Fridays. Hal takes the stand to testify that he has missed work every Friday for 15 years to go on his own little adventures, like visiting aquariums. Although Hal wins the case, Lois is furious. She has been working extra hard at work and at home for fifteen years while Hal takes every Friday off.
Couple Goals: Hal Missed Lois
Hal goes completely mad after Lois visits Francis for a few days in military school. "My dad's going crazy. He hasn't slept in four days. He's smoking. He's dancing around in his underwear. He's ripping phones out of the walls. You've got to stop him," Malcolm begs neighbor, Craig.
In the midst of his sleep-deprived, Lois-missing craziness, Hal decides to build Lois Number Two, a killer bot that attacks by shooting angry bees at an opponent. Threatening to take the bee bot to his office to attack his manager's Lexus, Malcolm is forced to turn the bot on his father. The episode ends with Hal completely covered in bees, defeated, waiting for Lois to get back to make everything better.
Couple Nos: Lois Stole Hal From Her Sister
When Aunt Susan comes to visit, Dewey learns the big family secret: Lois stole Hal from her sister. As a result, Susan absolutely detests Hal, and barely acknowledges him, except to insult him. As always, the sisters end up arguing, because Susan has not moved on from Lois' betrayal. The boys learn that Hal cheated on Lois with Susan's prom night, when she found the two together on the hood of her car after a five-year relationship with Hal.
Hal schools his son on family dynamics, lecturing them on their ignorance. "Boys, please! I know this is hard for you to understand, but you're just going to have to realize that your mom and Susan are crazy. The sooner you learn to accept that, the better!"