Amber and Matt Barnett from Love Is Blind are quarantining together, making the most of this unfortunate coronavirus situation with their dog Koda. Last week, they spoke with Screen Rant to discuss everything from their favorite shows to binge to how many kids they plan to have.
Screen Rant: There was a lot of drama building to that final wedding day. Do you think that the show accurately portrayed what your relationship was like?
Amber: I feel like that's a really concentrated view of what it was. We obviously had a lot more conversations; those were very big topics that we were discussing. And I feel like a lot of the important stuff, they just kind of took the gist of it and missed the full conversation, because it was 10 episodes. How can they fit it? They could have done 10 episodes on a single relationship and still not been able to cover it all. You know what I mean? I think it was just a really concentrated, exaggerated view of what we were talking about and what we were going through. I understand that a lot of people are confused by it. Some people get really personally involved in it. I'm just like, 'You guys missed so much, and I wish I could tell you everything.' But also, that's kind of what makes it special for me and Matt, is that is that we did have our private moments where we figured our stuff out alone, just us.
It was great to see you guys talking about real things like finances, because that's not something that we always see on these dating shows. Was there any part that you wish would have been shown more to give viewers context?
Amber: Yeah, the fuller conversation. That was a glimpse of it. Matt and I, we literally talked through the logistics of who would be handling what as far as finances were concerned. We even talked about that when we were in the pod - because I told everybody on the date, I told everybody that I wanted to be a stay at home mom someday. That's the peak life goal for me, to be able to stay home with our kids. Matt said very early on, he was like, 'Well, what if I can't afford for you to be a stay at home mom?' And he was the only guy that brought that up to me. And I was like, 'Well, you know, that's fair. If we get married, we'll be in a partnership together, and that's something that we figure out. We talked in the pod that it would be a partnership, and we would both work if we had to.
Matt: I think one of the biggest conversations that came up in general was, like, how we were going to approach all challenges. We weren't going to focus on the challenges before they came up because there's no reason in stressing ourselves out over those. Our biggest thing was, when something came up, we were gonna address it when it came up and if it came up. So, if money became an issue, we would address it when it came up and if it came up. And I don't think that that ever got really portrayed or seen.
Amber: I feel like we had very reasonable approaches to a lot of things that people didn't get to see. Like, as far as finances go into the marriage, we established that what we would do together, we would get together. But all the stuff that we came into the marriage with individually was each of our individual responsibilities.
Matt: I never had any anticipation or expectation of paying for anything that Amber had. Same with her.
Speaking of being a stay at home mom, what would you say to people who give others negative feedback about deciding to be a stay at home mom or wanting to do that?
Amber: I say that this is the 21st century, and that the entire point of feminism and equality is for everybody to have the opportunity to choose for themselves what they want. It's not that everybody does the same thing. Like, I have done a lot of things in my lifetime; I have gone against the grain. I have had masculine jobs. I have done things that people would say are very atypical of a female. But then at the same time, I want a traditional kind of lifestyle as far as home life goes. I mean, there are a lot of people that are saying that it's the 21st century and a woman shouldn't have to rely on a man. I'm not relying on Matt and saying that I want to be a stay at home mom. That is us divvying up the responsibilities of our home life. And I don't think that's anybody else's business or place to judge, because there is no right answer for a happy life. It's all subjective.
I know you spoke on the show about some of the struggles you had being homeless for a little bit. Can you tell me a little bit about that struggle?
Amber: That that was honestly the simplest explanation of what my life was at the time. 2017 was a very hard year for me. Prior to moving out of Augusta, the two years before that, I had been dealing with a sexual assault case. And then the whole deal with my ex happened, where I ended up getting an abortion and then we broke up and I fell into a depression, and it was more than I could handle. And I was also ETSing; I was in the military at the time. So, there were a lot of things in flux for me at that time. I just was very unhappy, and I was in a very dark place. And some of my friends that lived in Atlanta told me that I just needed to get away. So I did. So I moved to Atlanta, and I had nothing to my name at the time because of the depression, I quit work, and I was behind on all my bills. So when I moved to Atlanta, I was staying on my friend's couch, and they were giving me a place to stay for free to get on my feet and pay up all my bills. Then I moved in with a friend of mine from the military days and moved into an apartment, but it wasn't legal. I wasn't on the lease. I was paying my part of the rent but it was all, like, under-the-table kind of dealings. though. Everything was a lot more complicated than people were able to see, but the simplest way to say it in the show was that technically no, I didn't have a home. It wasn't my place; I wasn't on the lease. There were a lot of complicated situations and I was choosing to lean on my support group to put myself back in a better place. I was working on myself. And then I felt like I was in a really good place when somebody approached me about the show, like, I was much happier. I was very content in life doing what I was doing. I felt like I was at a much better place in life, like, I was building myself back up. I felt like my mental health was back at a place that I was very comfortable with again, and then Matt came along and, I don't know, it just seemed kismet.
In the current situation we find ourselves in right now, there's a lot of people who might be in unhealthy relationships or going through a situation where they might not know where they're going to live next month. What is something that you learned going through some of those experiences that you would be able to tell someone who's going through a difficult situation right now?
Amber: I don't know how everybody else deals with this. I know for me, starting off, there was a very big pride issue. But when it comes to something like that, it's okay to set your pride aside and lean on people. Lean on people that love you, because we're all going through something at one point in our lives or another we're going to need help. Just lean on people that love you. It's okay, and it's not a burden to take care of people and to let people care for you. And it all passes at some point. Hard times don't last forever.
Matt, what kind of engineering do you do and what does your work involve?
Matt: I'm actually in construction, so I was in project management at the time for a mechanical contracting company. I'm still in project management, but now I'm with a general contractor. Engineering, my background was a civil and environmental engineering degree from Georgia Tech.
Amber: At some point, Matt and I kind of discussed, there's a career field that I'm hoping to move into and kind of take the reins on financial responsibility in our relationship. Then Matt can go back to school for something else that he's a little more passionate about.
Matt: It's not that I'm not [passionate]...
Amber: We kind of have this crazy idea that, when we are able to establish ourselves, we want to
open a doggy day care. We both love animals; Matt's a huge animal person, which is one of my favorite
qualities about him. Super cute. Matt's actually got family in Italy that has one. We're hoping to maybe franchise it into the United
States, which would be really cool.
Amber, you said you might choose a new career soon to help Matt go back to school. Do you know what that would be?
Amber: I do. I actually have already been taking classes for it, but I haven't taken the test yet. So, I'd rather keep that under wraps. I don't want to jinx anything.
I know you guys are always getting the big question of how many children do you want. Can you give me the scoop on how far along those conversations are?
Amber: I mean, we've talked about it and we've had our share of scares. It was a joke on the show that we said we were gonna have 18 kids. I told Matt I was willing to birth three and that he could give birth to the rest of them, so we'll see what happens with that.
Matt: Shoot. You told them about [the one] that happened on the show?
Amber: No. Oh my God, no. God, you literally already said it. You made it weird. Literally, when we got back from Mexico, we had already had our first pregnancy scare. Because I was two weeks late, and it turns out it was just because of all of the stress of the show and planning the wedding, and I was freaking out.
Matt: I was freaking out, as well.
Amber: We were terrified that before we even got to go down the aisle, there was gonna be a
pregnancy announcement.
Matt: Shotgun wedding.
Then before the show aired, you would have already had the kid.
Amber: Yeah. Surprise, world! It was a very close call. There was almost a Love Is Blind baby.
Matt: Give us a year.
Amber: Yeah, give us a year. Although I feel like we keep saying that, and we keep pushing it back.
Matt: Yeah, we said that last year.
Amber: At least a year. We just signed a lease in our apartment to extend our lease for another year. So, there's definitely not room for a baby here. It would have to fit in the closet.
What's the biggest thing you learned from your experience on Love Is Blind?
Matt: You go first. I don't know.
Amber: I think something that helped me a lot going into this is... Love Is Blind dating versus real world dating. There's kind of a disconnect in real world dating, where you don't know how serious somebody is about wanting a relationship. So, going into Love Is Blind knowing that this other person seriously wanted a relationship as well, it was easy to cut through all the BS and decide what exactly I was looking for. So, like, being a lot more definitive about what I wanted made it a lot easier to find somebody that I really clicked with. Because there were days where I would go in, and they'd just say, like, one thing that they did or didn't want for their life. And I'm like, 'Oh, I don't agree with that. All right, so we don't match.' It was like that. Like as soon as they said something, I'm like, 'Okay, we don't match. I think we're done here.' Move on to the next person; keep looking. I think I learned to be a lot more definitive about what I wanted.
Matt: I was gonna say, it helped me be more decisive...
Amber: Don't steal my answer.
Matt: That's what I was gonna say! I'm the only one that seemed indecisive on the entire show. But I was totally indecisive, and I've always been super indecisive, because I always try to weigh out my options. I think I've been a little bit better. I don't worry as much about negative consequences as I used to; I kind of just try to focus on the good outcomes and hope for the best. I think I've become a little bit more spontaneous a little bit more open to trying new things and stuff like that.
Amber: Thankfully. At the core of who you are, darling, you like to know how to control a situation. So, I'm really glad that
you're learning how to take it. Take life as it comes.
Matt: Yeah. I've always been laid back, though.
We saw some of your other connections on the show, Matt. Amber, did you have any other strong connections on the show before you and Matt got engaged?
Amber: Yes and no. Like, I had other favorite people that I really enjoyed talking to, and we had great conversations. It was very flirty. But there was nobody else that I really felt, 'Okay, I would accept a proposal from this person.' Mark was on my list for a while, and we got to be really good friends in the pods. And Damian was on my list for a while as well. Somebody asked me one day - Rory, I think was the one that asked me. He goes, 'Who's your number one?' And I go, 'Matt.' He goes, 'Well, do you have a close number two?' And I go, 'Uhhhh, I guess...' And he was like, 'No, you don't. If you responded like that, if you had to think about it? You don't have a close second. There's only one person. I'm like, yeah. They were great people, and I loved talking to them. We got along wonderfully, it just wasn't...
Matt: Marriage material.
Amber: Yeah, it just didn't have a spark.
Rory was the matchmaker for the guys. I guess he was the matchmaker for the girls too.
Amber: Oh my gosh, Rory helped everybody. And I wish everybody had gotten to see his dates with us too, because Rory made all of the girls cry. He was so good at getting people to open up and just talk that he was able to get down to the nitty gritty of, like, everybody. Yeah, he made most of us cry. I don't think a lot of us would have made it through the production without him.
In the reunion, you had the conversation/altercation with Jessica. Have you guys reached out or talked at all since then?
Amber: Nope, haven't reached out to her. Don't plan to. I said my piece, and that is... I'm done now. That's completely irrelevant to our lives at this point. Old news.
Are you binging any fun shows during self-quarantine now that Love Is Blind is more than a month old now?
Amber: I've been binge watching The Flash, and we watch Superstore at night before we go to bed.
Matt: That was before quarantine, too. We really haven't been...
Amber We haven't been binge-watching much, actually. We've just been watching movies here and
there.
Matt: Random movies and Call Of Duty.
Amber: Movies and work. Yeah, he's been doing a lot of Call of Duty.
Matt: I can't help myself. What else can you do?
You can't shame people for playing video games now.
Matt: No, but you can get annoyed at them.
Amber: You get to do video games, and I get my romance novels.
Have you guys kept in contact with some of the other couples from the show?
Matt: Yeah, pretty much the majority of everybody. We haven't really hung out with anybody since the quarantine, but for the most part, yeah. We have a group chat that we all talk in. It's not been as active lately, because there's nothing really going on. But yeah, we typically - we've hung out a couple times, the whole group.
Amber: We also live in a really popular area in Atlanta. So, when people are in the area, they'll call us or tell us to come out because it's so close. We get to hang out with people there here and there that way as well.
How is your relationship with Matt's family, because we saw a little bit of that during the show? Are you guys getting along well?
Amber: We actually never had any issues getting along. The first day I met Matt's mom, we talked for an hour and a half, and we clicked immediately. They were a lot more lighthearted and fun-going than they seemed on the show, that's for sure. When Matt and I went to Italy after the show, we went with his parents. It was like a miniature family vacation. We all get along wonderfully.
A lot of times you'll see something on the show that might not be a super accurate portrayal, so that's good to hear.
Amber: I mean, it's fair. I know I'm awkward, but that was a tad exaggerated. You've got to create the drama and bring people in. And it works because everyone's still watching the show. I think it's Top 10 on Netflix still.
Matt: Been there for a month and a half, it's crazy.
Amber: People are surprised that his mom and I get along, and I'm like... There was one day that I went to have lunch with his mom, and we were just sitting out by the pool, hanging out. We got out and got into sangrias, and next thing you know his dad had to call Matt to come pick me up because me and his mom had gotten drunk together by the pool. It was a great day. It was so much fun.
Have you felt like the fan reaction for the most part has been positive?
Matt: It started out not so positive, and it's kind of turned into pretty positive. I think when first five episodes released, it was kind of a lot of negative. And then it kind of started getting better after the next ones. Overall, now it's mostly positive - or at least stuff that I see.
Amber: I try not to look that much. And if I see anything negative, I immediately block it. I'm trying to [limit] what I'm exposed to.
Is there one message you've gotten that has really stuck out or made a positive impact on your day or your life?
Matt: I don't think I have a specific one. I can't really think of one, but I've had ones that say I'm inspirational. I'm like, 'How am I inspirational?' But there's nothing specific that I can think of, just people saying that they love us. I like supportive people that see why I love Amber and can understand our relationship. Because I feel like a lot of people can't understand it, or don't try to understand it.
Amber: There are some. But I've had several of the same type of messages, where there are people reaching out, saying that they really appreciated and were inspired and were touched that I shared my story about my abortion. Because I think it is such a hard situation for people to go through and it does, in the moment, feel like you can be all alone. And I think a lot of people have seen that it's something that several people have gone through - like, many people in the world have gone through. There are a lot of people reaching out saying that I made them feel like less alone; that they're coming to terms with their decisions now because I was able to show them that you can be strong about it, that there's nothing wrong with having regrets, and stuff like that. I don't respond to them all, because there's just so many, but those messages really do mean a lot to me.
This interview was condensed and edited for clarity.