Lois Lane is arguably the most important woman in Superman’s life. Originally a friendly rival of Clark Kent’s and a lovestruck admirer of Superman, Lois has grown and evolved over the years to become Clark’s wife who can hold her own alongside Superman. Still, their long history has had more than a few bumpy patches, including a particularly weird moment when Superman had Lois use some Kryptonite chains and a cat-o-nine tails for a very strange purpose.
This weird adventure happened in 1967 when Lois had her own comic book, Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane. The comics had Lois engage in several madcap adventures, like the time in issue #73 where she attracted the attention of an evil mind-controlling alien entity…
Unable to function on Earth without a human host, the alien took over Lois’ body and used her to create a chemical that could fuel its “force power.” When it forced Lois to drive to a high altitude, though, its energy form was forced out of Lois body. Seeking a new host, the invisible entity took over Clark Kent’s body, but when it discovered his Kryptonian form possessed superpowers, it quickly decided to take advantage of them.
Fortunately, once Superman’s body rose to a high altitude, the alien being was forced out of his body as well. Quickly surmising what had happened, Superman came up with a brilliantly ridiculous scheme. First, he takes Lois to the Fortress of Solitude where he constructs a life-sized Superman puppet. Then Superman instructs Lois to chain him to a table with Kryptonite chains and flog the Superman puppet with a cat-o-nine tails whip.
Thus, when the alien follows the two to the Fortress, it’s treated to the bizarre sight of Lois Lane whipping the puppet and screaming, “Evil spirit, cruel and rash, leave Superman’s body quick as a flash! Enter the puppet, obey my lash!” Meanwhile, Superman – now helplessly bound to the table with Kryptonite chains – encourages Lois to “strike harder!”
Initially, the alien being finds this “Fifty Shades of Superman” scene ridiculous – but when the Superman puppet starts talking and breaks its bonds, the alien wonders if the puppet really does possess all of Superman’s powers. Still skeptical, it tries to take over Superman’s body again, but finds the Kryptonian weak (thanks to the Kryptonite chains). Believing the Superman puppet must have Superman’s powers, it enters the lifeless construct – only to become trapped in the puppet’s special shielding.
Once Lois releases Superman from the Kryptonite chains, he explains that he included a special recorder and mechanical “super muscles” in the puppet, allowing it to appear to have all of his powers. With the creature now trapped in the puppet, Superman sends it to the Phantom Zone and thanks Lois for her help – although Lois can only dream about the day when they become “Mr. and Mrs. Superman.” (Considering what he asked her to do during this adventure, one can only imagine what she’s hoping will happen when they’re married).
The Silver Age Superman adventures contained all sorts of bizarre plotlines and weird innuendo. During Comic-Con@Home 2020, “Oddaball Comics Not So Live!” digital slideshow, cartoonist Scott Shaw! noted that DC cover editor Joe Orlando allegedly encouraged artists to include titillating content on comic book covers under the premise that “sex sells” and that the subliminal (and not-so-subliminal) suggestions would encourage readers to buy more comics. This was certainly true of Lois Lane comics, which featured Lois in several compromising positions on many covers.
Yet, while many of Lois’ comics ended their sexually suggestive content with the covers, a few actually featured some pretty lurid content within the stories themselves. One can only wonder how many readers hid this Superman issue under their beds…