The show Lizzie McGuire wouldn't be the Disney Channel juggernaut that it is without Ethan Craft (played by Clayton Snyder). He's the cutest boy in school, forever the object of Miranda's and Lizzie's affections. Ethan starts out as a pretty rough dude, but in just a few episodes, he is transformed into the lovable airhead everyone remembers.
Ethan is more than a popular guy with great hair. He has a heart of gold and says some pretty insightful things. Here are the ten best Ethan Craft quotes from Lizzie McGuire, identified by episode title. Check them out on Disney+!
I Do, I Don't
"Uh, Kate. I thought I was gonna have two wives. Now I've got...none." This is one of Ethan's most talked-about episodes. The "two wives" quote actually comes up in two different variations.
The first is at the Digital Bean when Kate is trying to explain her evil plan: she is to leave Larry Tudgeman, her husband for the social studies marriage assignment, and Ethan is to leave Miranda. In an interview with the author, Clayton Snyder got back into the mindset of Ethan and explained, "I think he was like, 'I get to have two best friends, so like, I get to have two wives, cool! Two people I get to spend all my time with, hang out with, like, awesome!' That’s where he’s coming from." Makes sense.
Come Fly with Me
In the episode where Gordo's Rat Pack phase turns into a school-wide trend, Ethan is especially into it. Gordo is made fun of in the opening scene of the episode, but Lizzie and Miranda make his Sinatra style popular. Ethan happens to have a boombox with him on the bus, so he listens to the CD that Lizzie and Miranda are trying to hide for Gordo. He digs it.
Pretty soon, Kate is planning a Rat Pack school dance. Everyone is dressing like it's the 1960s. And the best part is Ethan's interest in the wardrobe: "Yo Gordon, I was just noticing your shirt. Very Mack Daddy." Lizzie and Miranda promptly let Ethan know how he can dress like Gordo. Ethan later says that the Rat Pack dance is "Coolsville."
Educating Ethan
Perhaps the best quotes in this episode go to Lizzie ("Ethan needs hair scrunchies!" "Ethan needs cheerleaders!"), but Ethan is great here, too. He desperately needs some tutoring in math, and Gordo desperately needs a new stereo system. While Gordo tries to make his money tutoring Ethan at the Digital Bean, Miranda and Lizzie crash the party to get closer to their crush.
Ethan keeps calling Gordo "pro-fessah" and hilariously tells him, "Looks like you need a tutor on how to deal with the ladies." Gordo is furious at his best friends for interrupting the tutoring session, but it turns out that Lizzie is the better tutor for Ethan in the end.
And the Winner Is
The "I don't repeat" scene from the scavenger hunt episode of season two has become Ethan's most quoted moment. Jo McGuire tells Ethan that his hair is amazing. Sam says, "It kind of glows."
Ethan fills them in: "You know how the shampoo bottle has directions, right? Lather, rinse, repeat. I don't repeat." He elaborates, "They only put repeat on the bottle so that you buy more shampoo." Classic, and so wise.
Just Friends
The best part of this episode is when Lizzie asks Ethan how it's going. He answers, "Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, my day is proceeding with fineness." Lizzie then asks Ethan if he's going to the Sadie Hawkins' dance with anyone, and he answers, "So far, I'm paddling my kayak alone."
When Lizzie asks him to be her date, he is honest and says that he views her more as his friend than his romantic type. This inspires Lizzie to try to become Ethan's type. It doesn't work out, but the episode does reveal more layers of Ethan. He listens to Ja Rule while he plays golf, he drinks grape soda, his favorite book is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and he loves a mysterious woman.
You're a Good Man, Lizzie McGuire
A few episodes later, Ethan makes up for any hurt Lizzie felt over the Sadie Hawkins' dance. It's time for the spring fling. Lizzie and Kate are arguing over what the theme of the dance will be, and Kate knocks over a bust of the school's first principal. Principal Tweety is furious and suspends the dance until the guilty party comes forward. Lizzie decides to take the rap so that her friends can have a dance.
Lizzie's true friends are there for her in the end. Gordo, Ethan, Miranda, and her date go over to Lizzie's house on the night of the dance. Ethan's amazing quote here is, "Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, if you can't come to the party, the party's comin' to you." It's so sweet of him to hang out with her instead of going to the dance. He starts a trend, too, because the whole school eventually heads over to Lizzie's, leaving Kate alone at the school dance.
Clue-less
Without the proper context, this one does need explanation.
The circus tent Ethan is referring to is his home, which is filled with bug gas. His conversation with Lizzie over the house's lack of safety (and Ethan's attempt to pronounce "asphyxiation") leads Lizzie to host the murder mystery party that introduces everyone to Ethan's stepmom. It's a great episode.
Lizzie's Eleven
"Once we have the perfect shot, we take the yearbook CD straight to the printer," says Kate. Ethan replies, "How about we take it in front of the wheel of fortune? It'd be like we're on that one game show. You know, um, what's it called? It's the one with the wheel of fortune in it." Kate answers, "It's called Wheel of Fortune." Ethan persists, "I know that, but what's the show called?" Kate gets the last word this time: "You better hope you never lose your hair."
That exchange is the funniest, but a close second is when Ethan plays 21 with Gordo at Monte Carlo night and says, "I don't understand why 22 doesn't beat 21."
Bye, Bye, Hilldridge Junior High
"Oh, Lizzie, you better watch me play water polo in high school. It's gonna be way cool. Keep it real!" This quote is one of the best because it let fans in on a special part of actor Clayton Snyder's life.
He actually is a water polo player and a very successful one. He's been playing since he was young and even missed his freshman water polo season in high school to film The Lizzie McGuire movie. He went on to play at the college level while studying at Pepperdine University, and he is a part of the Los Angeles Athletic Club Water Polo team, which competed last year in Europe as part of the USA National League.
The Lizzie McGuire Movie
It's impossible not to include this movie when discussing great Ethan Craft quotes. He is full of wisdom in this film, including his romantic advice for Gordo: "Embrace the sting! That's what your vibin' here from Lizzie."
Gordo is trying to figure out if he is acting like he's jealous of Paolo. Ethan simply answers, "Word."