Legally Blonde's Elle Woods thinks she has it all figured out. Marry Warner Huntington III, drive off into the west coast sunset and live happily ever after. But then Warner dumps Elle because he needs to be with "somebody serious." So what's a girl to do but prove her seriousness by enrolling in law school? At Harvard, Elle's a bubblegum-pink mermaid in a school of grey-and-argyle fish. She doesn't belong. Or so everyone thinks. Elle shows them all that she's no dumb blonde. She refuses to be defined on looks, and it's her sheer resilience that has everyone around her questioning their own identities.
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is the Harvard of the Harry Potter world. It's a prestigious school that labels and categorizes its students. The Sorting Hat places students into one of four houses—Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor—based on the students' personalities and abilities. So what would happen if Elle and her graduating class got sorted? Would anyone yell, "I object!"? Here are Legally Blonde Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.
10 Elle Woods - Gryffindor
Warner or no Warner, why would a carefree California blonde want to enroll in law school? Elle could have replaced Warner before her tears even dried, and continued to live her privileged life. But Gryffindors love a challenge. They also love proving others wrong. Every choice Elle makes is a direct result of someone telling her she couldn't do it.
Those around her may think they can keep her down by confining her to a blonde bimbo stereotype, but all they're doing is lighting Elle's fire. Warner tells her she's not smart enough for Callahan's internship? She shows him—and everyone around her— just how valuable Gryffindor Elle Woods can be.
9 Vivian Kensington - Ravenclaw
If it walks like a Slytherin and talks like a Slytherin...it might just be a really insecure Ravenclaw. Vivian sure treats Elle like persona non grata, pulling a prank on her by telling her about an upcoming "costume party." Elle shows up in full Playboy Bunny glory...only to find everyone else dressed in their everyday, bland college attire. Vivian's move has Slytherin snakeskin written all over it. But her real motive is she's terrified that Warner will leave her for Elle.
Vivian is one of the top students in her class, and she didn't get there by favoritism, but by pure Ravenclaw smarts. She's a shoo-in for Callahan's internship. She also shows her Ravenclaw principles by supporting Elle's decision not to divulge Brooke's alibi. As ambitious as Vivian is, she'd rather fly high with the Ravenclaws than take the low road with the Slytherins.
8 Emmett Richmond - Hufflepuff
Being a stranger in a strange land can be unnerving. If you're ever in that situation, get yourself to the nearest Hufflepuff. Feeling lost and humiliated after being kicked out of her first class, Elle happens upon Emmett Richmond. His easygoing Hufflepuff demeanor calms her down and even though he doesn't know Elle very well, Emmett is still kind enough to give her some pointers in surviving her first semester.
Anyone who's ever cracked a joke about lawyers being heartless never met Emmett. Emmett may not come across as a courtroom shark, but his hard work and good instincts pay off, like when he cross-examines Enrique. Emmett was acting off a tip from Elle, someone who everyone else dismisses. Not Hufflepuff Emmett. He's a listener and that's what makes him not just a great Hufflepuff, but a great partner in law and life.
7 Warner Huntington III - Slytherin
Warner Huntington III. That name alone makes the case for a Slytherin. Warner is a spoiled baby, born with a silver trust fund in his mouth. He didn't get into Harvard on merit. Rather, his father "made a call." If one were to peek into Warner's dorm, it wouldn't be a surprise to find an army of House Elves darning his socks and ironing his shirts.
Everything Warner does is self-serving. He dumps Elle in the middle of a fancy restaurant so she won't make a scene—how'd that work out for you, buddy? As fun as Elle may be, Warner needs to marry a pure-blood, not a Muggle-born. Anyone with the misfortune of interacting with Warner can take comfort in the fact that his Slytherin fangs aren't too sharp. Warner graduates Harvard without any job offers... and without winning the House Cup.
6 Paulette Bonafonté - Hufflepuff
Elle's Hufflepuff oasis in the desert of law school is Paulette. Paulette doubles as Elle's aesthetician and therapist. She hangs on Elle's every word and offers nothing but sweet encouragement in return. Elle came for the manicures, but stays for the compassion.
Paulette possesses the tragic Hufflepuffian flaw of letting others walk all over her, resulting in her cheating ex refuses to give her dog back. But thanks to Paulette's ability to make winning friendships, Elle is able to throw some legal mumbo-jumbo at the ex, and Paulette is reunited with her pooch. Let that be a warning—if you try to bend a Hufflepuff, they just might snap.
5 Professor Callahan - Slytherin
At first hiss, Professor Callahan seems like the firm-but-fair sort of professor whom students would cross an ocean to impress. He owes every bit of his success to his Slytherin cunning and expects his students to show a similar drive. Those who do find themselves in Callahan's good graces.
Elle thinks she's one of those students, as she's selected to be one of Callahan's first-year interns. While Elle shows a terrific aptitude for the law, Callahan reveals his rakish reasons for picking her. Whilst alone together, Callahan places his hand on Elle's thigh, which is as creepy as it is unsolicited. Callahan continues to hint at better things to come for Elle should she succumb to his desires. This is the most toxic Slytherin move ever, making the viewer every bit as green as the Slytherin coat of arms.
4 Professor Stromwell - Ravenclaw
The professor who makes her students cry. She sounds like the second coming of Severus Snape. However, unlike the Half-Blood Prince, Stromwell has no personal vendettas. Like any Ravenclaw, she cares about education and the law. What is the point of education if it's not taken seriously?
The problem with Stromwell is that sometimes she judges on appearances rather than actual scholarly merit. She perceives Elle as a frivolous student and treats her as such. Ravenclaws don't judge to be mean; they judge because it saves time, and isn't efficiency more important than people's feelings? Still, sometimes it pays to share the uncomfortable truth, and it's her rousing, if not sympathetic, speech that encourages Elle to stay at Harvard after the Callahan incident. Gryffindors aren't the only ones known to save the day.
3 Brooke Taylor-Windham - Gryffindor
This fitness mogul didn't earn her success by playing by the rules. Brooke Taylor-Windham does what she wants, even if it means raising a few eyebrows...or voices. On trial for her husband's murder, Brooke refuses to reveal her alibi until she finds out Elle is on her legal team. Brooke confesses to her sorority sister that she was out getting liposuction on the day of the murder. This news would be a complete scandal for Brooke's fitness business.
Most people in Brooke's shoes would be willing to take the hit to their reputation if it meant no jail time. Maybe Brooke was exonerated for murder, but when it comes to being a Gryffindor, she's guilty as charged.
2 David Kidney - Hufflepuff
If Neville Longbottom were taller than a tree and a law student, he'd be David Kidney. David is a hard worker who doubts his own intelligence. This is a total Hufflepuff paradox. He knows the answers to Professor Cromwell's questions but is too terrified to answer. David is somewhat of a punching bag, because he won't even stand up for himself when blatantly insulted, like when that Disney-villain-from-hell girl rejects him.
But the beauty of a Hufflepuff is that they always find a way to turn their frown upside down. David is one of the only people to be pleasant and friendly to Elle. He may be too shy to vocally stand up for her, but he shows his support in subtle ways. When Elle can't reach a book on the top shelf, David rushes over to help. David makes a winning case for why it's great to be a Hufflepuff.
1 Enid Wexler - Ravenclaw
Enid Wexler is sharp as a tack and has the personality of one. She takes an instant dislike to sorority girl Elle without getting to know her—again, judgment saves time. When Vivian starts a rumor that Elle called Enid a homophobic slur, Enid takes it at face value. If she would have bothered to talk to Elle, Enid would have found out it isn't true. But Ravenclaws aren't known for their people skills.
As one of the brightest students in her class, Enid lands one of Callahan's internships. Other than that, Enid is virtually unseen throughout the second half of the movie. That's because she doesn't have time for other people's drama; she's got studying to do.