Played by Jeff Goldblum in the multi-billion dollar Jurassic Park franchise, Dr. Ian Malcolm is a noted mathematician who is brought in to assess the viability of the dinosaur theme park on the remote Isla Nublar, off the coast of Costa Rica. When things go famously wrong, he’s associated with the issue of dinosaurs living in the modern world and considered an authority on the subject for surviving the first catastrophe. Described by John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) as suffering from a “deplorable excess of personality", Malcolm possesses an acerbic wit and overall humorous nature that made him an instant fan-favorite character.
Ian Malcolm stands out as being one of the wisest characters in any of the Jurassic Park movies and the best Ian Malcolm quotes form a large part of some of the memorable quotes from the entire franchise, not just the films he's in. After debuting as a supporting character in the original movie, he led the franchise's first sequel The Lost World: Jurassic Park, and would later appear in two of the Jurassic World films, Fallen Kingdom and Dominion. The best Ian Malcolm quotes from each of those movies are reminders of how great characters and snappy dialogue have helped to keep the Jurassic Park franchise feeling timeless.
20 "What Have They Got In There, King Kong?"
Jurassic Park (1993)
As the tour begins for the island's visitors, the automated cars that they're in take them through the iconic wooden gates at the entrance to the park's main attractions. Clearly inspired by Universal's long history with cinematic monsters, Jurassic Park was a landmark for effects-driven blockbusters, and this clear allusion to the original King Kong movie that Dr. Malcolm can't help but notice is more than fitting.
19 “Genetic Power’s The Most Awesome Force The Planet’s Ever Seen, But You Wield It Like A Kid Who’s Found His Dad’s Gun.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
In both the Jurassic Park movies and Michael Crichton’s original novel, Ian Malcolm acts as a kind of voice of reason to the reckless science going on at the heart of the story. Over the course of the films, he fixates particularly on what he calls “genetic power” and its flagrant misuse. Having seen what the park is about and offered his initial misgivings, Malcolm gets into it with the park’s founder, John Hammond, in a scene bursting with memorable quotes. The long and short of it is that Malcolm doesn’t believe that Hammond has truly quantified the unpredictable variables that he's unleashed, and the movie proves him right.
18 “Mommy’s Very Angry.”
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
After the roaring mainstream success of the original Jurassic Park and the previous summer’s equally barnstorming Hollywood spectacle, Independence Day, it was great to see Goldblum taking the reins of an action-adventure blockbuster in The Lost World: Jurassic Park. Goldblum has a talent for delivering short and emphatic statements that sound great when put in a trailer and this one is certainly one of the most memorable Ian Malcolm quotes from the Jurassic Park franchise. The line comes at the culmination of a scene where the heroes bandage a baby T. Rex with a wounded leg, which, as Malcolm points out, has angered its parents.
17 “I’m Always On The Lookout For A Future Ex-Mrs. Malcolm.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
As Hammond light-heartedly points out when we’re first introduced to him, Malcolm has somewhat of a “rockstar” persona. His outfit is all black, with shades and boots, and he can’t seem to stop himself from strongly flirting with Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern). When the tour of the park stalls, and he's stuck with her partner Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill), they get to talking about their love lives, where Malcolm mentions his several children from several past marriages. It's a great Ian Malcolm quote not just for helping to establish his characteristics but also for highlighting how different those characteristics are from Grant's, whose journey is colored by Malcolm's.
16 “Change Is Like Death. You Don’t Know What It Looks Like Until You’re Standing At The Gates.”
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Ian Malcolm returned to the franchise after a two-movie absence in 2018’s Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Sadly, he only appears in two book-ending scenes set in government hearings regarding the main incident of the movie: the imminent eruption of the volcano on Isla Nublar. True to his character, Malcolm advocates for non-action and the death of the remaining dinosaurs on the island, his belief being that the escape of the animals would cause “man-made, cataclysmic, change.” When asked to elaborate, he freely admits that he doesn’t know exactly what would happen, which is precisely why people should be wary.
15 "Boy, Do I Hate Being Right All The Time."
Jurassic Park (1993)
As Jurassic Park begins to kick into its highest gear, the iconic T. Rex emerges out of its paddock to terrorize the visitors to the island who are trapped helplessly in their cars as they look on at this terrifying predator roaming free. In reference to his numerous warnings to Hammond about the uncontrollable nature of the park's attractions, Malcolm reminds the audience and himself that his foresight is really somewhat of a curse with this great quote.
14 “...Your Scientists Were So Preoccupied With Whether Or Not They Could, They Didn’t Stop To Think If They Should.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
Towards the end of Malcolm’s diatribe against Hammond and the park, he begins to highlight the source of Hammond’s entire folly and arrogance, which is that it’s entirely motivated by money. Hammond retorts that his scientists have accomplished things that no one has ever accomplished before. This is true enough, but as Malcolm so succinctly points out, without a good reason to do so, the project was doomed from the start.
13 "When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go."
Jurassic Park (1993)
Before Ian Malcolm and Alan Grant fully realize the extent of the danger that they're in as they're stuck next to the T. Rex paddock after the park's security systems had been shut off, the 'blood-sucking lawyer", Gennaro, sees the oncoming monster and instinctively flees from his car, leaving the children still inside for dead. His panicked run towards the restrooms for safety, of course, results in the most memorable death of the whole movie, and one of the grisliest in the whole Jurassic Park franchise, making Malcolm's explanation for his behavior a brilliantly unintentional double entendre.
12 "Uh, The Doomsday Clock Might Be About Out Of Time, But, As They Say, It's Always Darkest Just Before Eternal Nothingness."
Jurassic World: Dominion (2023)
When Ian Malcolm is first introduced in Jurassic World: Dominion, he seems much as he was at the beginning of the first Jurassic Park movie, appearing to be more concerned with coming off as seductive than he is with anything else. However, the longer that the audience spends with him, the more his true self begins to come out. He begins to show shades of his heroic intentions when he reunites with Ellie Sattler and Alan Grant and starts to tell Ellie about his part in the plan to take down the villains. When Ellie talks about the gravity of the world's situation, fans got this pitch-perfect Ian Malcolm quote.
11 “Must Go Faster.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
This iconic Ian Malcolm quote comes from one of Jurassic Park’s many famous action sequences, in which a rescued Malcolm is sped away from a chasing T. Rex in a jeep, with the surprisingly speedy monster is holding its own in the race. The usually-articulate Malcolm is reduced to almost broken English by the sheer terror of a hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex running straight for its dinner. The scene and the line became irrevocably associated and would be referenced again by Goldblum in both Independence Day and The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
10 “Um, I’ll Tell You The Problem With The Scientific Power That You’re Using Here. It Didn’t Require Any Discipline To Attain It.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
In their highly-quotable lunchtime debate, John Hammond’s boyish optimism and Ian Malcolm’s unwavering realism go head-to-head. Hammond is so enthralled with the wonder of his accomplishment that he’s clearly oblivious to the immense danger that it creates. Malcolm, not believing for a moment that anyone could hope to control the complex system that Hammond birthed into the world, lets him have it. Malcolm’s putdowns and observations are often so astute that they can be applied to a number of situations and disciplines beyond the premise of Jurassic Park, as this one often is.
9 "You Did It. You Crazy Son Of A B****, You Did It."
Jurassic Park (1993)
This is one of the most memorable quotes from the original Jurassic Park, not least because, as is often the case with the best Ian Malcolm quotes, it comes from one of the movie's most iconic moments. The line is Malcolm's reaction to the famous first witnessing of the Brachiosaurus when the guests first arrive at the park on Isla Nublar. Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler are astonished beyond the point of words and even Malcolm, with all his skepticism, can't help but wonder at the achievement.
8 "But, John, If The Pirates Of The Caribbean Breaks Down, The Pirates Don't Eat The Tourists."
Jurassic Park (1993)
In this Ian Malcolm quote, the popular Pirates of the Caribbean Disney attraction, which itself inspired a blockbuster movie franchise, is used as a reference to try and make Hammond realize the inherent danger in what he's done by playing God in Jurassic Park. Naturally, Malcolm is right on the money and people do end up getting eaten by Hammond's attractions, making the park's builder realize the error of his ways but all too late.
7 "Increase Your Rate Of Climb."
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
"Must go faster" was such an iconic line from the original Jurassic Park that The Lost World was essentially obligated to make some kind of reference to it and this quote gave fans a playful sort of sequel to it. It comes as Malcolm, Dr. Sarah Harding (Julianne Moore), and Nick Van Owen (Vince Vaughn) are dangling over the cliff in the trailer that was pushed over the edge by an attacking T. Rex. As the three of them attempt to climb up a rope to safety, with the trailer slipping gradually further off the edge of the cliff, Malcolm offers up this characteristically brief suggestion.
6 "Prometheus Got Gored. So Will You, You Rapacious Rat Bastard."
Jurassic World: Dominion (2023)
Jurassic World: Dominion was a big franchise celebration in the same vein as Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker, even bringing back a past villain from the movies to serve as the primary antagonist. Lewis Dodgson only appears very briefly in the original Jurassic Park and only interacts with Dennis Nedry, but he introduces the idea of a rival company working to steal InGen's genetic research. This is finally revealed in Dominion as the fittingly evil Biosyn, of which Dodgson is the megalomaniacal CEO. At one point, Dodgson compares himself to Prometheus and Ian Malcolm fires back with this withering and characteristically prophetic reality check.
5 “God Creates Dinosaurs. God Destroys Dinosaurs. God Creates Man. Man Destroys God. Man Creates Dinosaurs.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
There is something that's so oddly satisfying about the premise of Jurassic Park, beyond the setup for a monster movie. It sounds like a random combination of ideas at first, but it becomes almost semi-believable as something that someone would attempt if it were even remotely possible. There is a peculiar kind of poetry to the hubris at the heart of the story, as the humorous philosophical observation in this Ian Malcolm quote highlights. The line is mostly remembered, however, because of Ellie Sattler’s response: “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the Earth.”
4 “You Stood On The Shoulders Of Geniuses To Accomplish Something As Fast As You Could And, Before You Even Knew What You Had, You Patented It And Packaged It And Slapped It On A Plastic Lunchbox.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
Malcolm is very candid about his feelings towards Hammond's overall disregard for scientific caution in his creation of Jurassic Park, but the end of this particular truth bomb has an interesting closing point. Whilst the beginning of the quote is a metaphor, the second part about the lunchbox is actually true, even if Malcolm didn't realize it when he said it. Sure enough, later in the movie, it's revealed that Hammond actually had already manufactured Jurassic Park lunchboxes. This Ian Malcolm quote emphasizes that Jurassic Park as an overall fictional concept isn't so much science run amok so much as it is commercialism that's spun out of control.
3 "See, Here I'm Now By Myself, Uh, Talking To Myself. That's, That's Chaos Theory."
Jurassic Park (1993)
After attempting to seduce Ellie Sattler with his very up-close-and-personal explanation of chaos theory using drops of water rolling off of her hand, Alan Grant spots a sick Triceratops and jumps out of the moving car to go and investigate, with Ellie quickly following suit. As Malcolm is left alone in the car and somewhat perplexed by what he's just seen, he continues talking to himself and proves to the audience that his hilarious nature isn't something that he just puts on for other people but is rather his natural state with this great quote.
2 “That Is One Big Pile Of S***.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
Jeff Goldblum’s performance of Malcolm reacting to a large pile of dinosaur excrement is precisely why GIFs were invented. It comes about as Ellie Sattler attempts to understand what’s ailing a sickly Triceratops by examining its droppings.
This Ian Malcolm quote is a timeless moment of cinematic perfection that can be retrofitted for all occasions. Need to react to a bad opinion, photograph, or product? It really does have a million potential uses.
1 “...Life, Uh, Finds A Way.”
Jurassic Park (1993)
After witnessing the birth of a baby Velociraptor and coming to grips with what Hammond has created, Ian Malcolm immediately voices his concerns to him. Malcolm's first plea is to Hammond’s sense of reason as he attempts to explain the inherent scientific flaw in Hammond’s plan, and his final words have become the de facto motto of the entire series: "Listen, if there's one thing the history of evolution has taught us, it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free–it expands to new territories and it crashes through barriers painfully, maybe even dangerously...I'm simply saying that life, uh, finds a way."