Jingle All The Way is a classic Christmas comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad as dueling fathers trying desperately to get their sons a popular Christmas toy. Inspired by the Cabbage Patch Dolls and Power Rangers toy crazes, Jingle All The Way is a clever critique of Christmas consumerism and the great lengths parents will go to make sure their children are happy on Christmas morning.
The movie received negative reviews upon release, but was a box-office hit, and has since become an annual Christmas favorite. While the film has an extremely relatable premise for parents at Christmas, it's often taken to the extreme for comedic effect, which creates some truly wild moments Christmas movie fans love coming back to year after year.
A Very Busy Mattress Salesman
Arnold portrays workaholic mattress salesman Howard Langston, who's working hard while his employees party the night away at their Christmas party. In doing so, he misses his son, Jamie's, karate class.
What's strange is that mattress sales probably aren't what comes to mind when viewers think of very busy businesses at Christmas that keep fathers away from their children. A better choice would have been a more in-demand job that justifies him neglecting Jamie.
Ted, The Ladies Man
In Jingle All The Way, the late-great Phil Hartman portrays the neighborhood's most eligible bachelor, Ted. He's a single father and apparently, all the neighborhood moms want to hook up with him.
Strangely, in this Christmas family film for kids and adults, Ted gets hit on by several moms using suggestible innuendo. Despite this, Ted has his eye on Howard's wife Liz, who's clearly not interested. Ted must have a lot of confidence because he, unbelievably, attempts to steal the wife of a six-foot Austrian body-builder.
Howard Has An Awful Memory
Howard tries to make up for missing Jamie's class by promising him whatever he wants for Christmas. Jamie wants a Turbo Man action figure and even foully mentions that whoever doesn't get one is gonna be a "real loser."
Howard promises him the toy and feels he's back in his son's good graces, but Liz reminds him she asked him to get one "weeks ago," which he never did, and now they're probably sold out. Howard not only forgot to buy the Turbo Man but Jamie asking him for it wasn't enough to remind him he never bought it either.
Mistaken Identity
Howard overhears that a toy store has received a limited last-minute Turbo Man shipment. The toy is being given out randomly and Howard must receive a correctly numbered ball to buy the toy. Brilliantly juxtaposed with the song "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year," a melee ensues among the desperate parents.
Howard finds the correct ball, but a little girl grabs it, and he chases after her, leading him to a ball pit where he attempts to pull it out of her mouth. He's then pelted with angry mom's purses and labeled a "pervert," yet, he's not arrested for assault by police, making this part of the sequence a very darkly humorous choice for a children's movie.
Kids' Lives Ruined
After failing yet again to acquire the Turbo Man, Howard stops for coffee at a diner where he runs into his competition, Myron, played by Sinbad. Myron tells him a story about how when he was a kid, he never received the toy he really wanted, but his neighbor did, and he became a millionaire while Myron became a mailman. This spurns Howard on even more because he doesn't want his son to end up like Myron.
The message this sends is that if kids don't get want they want, their lives will end up bad and perhaps even lead to becoming a mailman, a noble profession Howard apparently sees as a sign of failure. On the contrary, some might believe that kids not always getting what they want actually builds character.
Myron Is Unhinged
While Sinbad is hilarious as Myron, in real life, he probably would be deemed dangerous and would go to prison for his offenses. In the movie, Myron chokes a complete stranger, constantly assaults people, and threatens many with a bomb.
In the finale, Myron essentially becomes a terrorist by impersonating Turbo Man's nemesis, Dementor, and hijacks a parade to try to steal the Turbo Man doll away from Jamie. This might make audiences curious about what's in Myron's backstory that would lead him to such criminal actions over a toy.
The Worst Cop
Throughout the movie, Howard miraculously keeps encountering the same cop, Officer Hummell. First, he pulls Howard over for driving on the shoulder, and later Howard runs over his bike. In both instances, he asks for Howard's license and registration.
After the bomb threat at the radio station, Hummell runs into Howard again but he escapes arrest. A bomb Hummell's holding goes off, yet, cartoonishly, only his clothes get damaged. Since Hummel has all of Howard's info, he could easily find his home to arrest him, instead, Hummell goes to the Christmas parade to appear on a police float.
Criminals
During the course of the movie, Howard could be arrested for assault, impersonating a police officer, breaking and entering, animal cruelty, and identity theft. Myron commits kidnapping, assault, child endangerment, and terrorism. While Myron is ultimately arrested, Howard seems to get away scot-free because, in movie logic, he was the good guy despite all his offenses.
Before being taken to jail, Myron happily accepts the Turbo Man doll from Jamie. However, realistically, that toy would now be police evidence, and Myron's son probably wouldn't be too proud of what his father did to get it.
A Bad Father and a Bad Husband
In the post-credit scene, Liz showers Howard with praise for going to such lengths, albeit illegal, to get Jamie the toy, which makes her excited for whatever her gift from him is. Suddenly, Howard panics just like when he realized he forgot to get Jamie the Turbo Man.
Did Howard get anyone a gift for Christmas? It seems that Howard forgot that gift-giving is one of the biggest Christmas elements. If Jingle All The Way was a Marvel movie, this post-credit scene would set up a very uninteresting sequel.
Unrecognizable
The finale finds Howard inexplicably mistaken for the Christmas parade's Turbo Man actor and he spends the climax dressed as the superhero as he tries to rescue Jamie from Myron. The costume features a helmet but, instead of a mask, a visor. Rita Wilson, who played Liz, even commented on how stupid this is.
To make matters worse, Howard has an unmistakable Austrian accent that he's not trying to hide, yet no one recognizes him. When Howard pulls off his visor, Liz and Jamie act absolutely shocked that he was Turbo Man. It's hilarious that the filmmakers put absolutely no effort into creating a disguise that would believably cause Jamie and Liz to not recognize Howard. However, disguising Arnold Schwarzenegger, in reality, is probably no easy feat.