M, the Head of the British Secret Service (MI6), is the most consistent supporting character in the James Bond franchise. As Bond's boss, M has never been afraid to call out the hedonistic field agent on his poor life choices, as well as joke around with him whenever the situation calls for it. As a result, the dialogue between the two has always been something fans look forward to.
M's remarks are ever impressive since they come from a point of authority. While he tries to be smart with everyone else, Bond normally has no choice but to listen whenever M is addressing him. And it isn't just Agent 007 that M enjoys putting in their place. Other characters have been the recipients of a dressing down from M too.
"What Are You Expecting, A Bloody Apology? You Know The Rules Of The Game. You've Been Playing It Long Enough."
Skyfall had one of the best Bond opening action sequences ever, and in it, Moneypenny accidentally shot Bond while targeting the mercenary, Patrice. Moneypenny had insisted that she didn't have a clear shot, but M ordered her to take it anyway. When Bond learned how the events transpired, he demanded an apology.
M has always been iron-willed and it was obvious she wasn't going to say something nice just to please Bond. By ordering Moneypenny to take the shot to prevent Patrice from escaping, she was trying to protect the lives of several other agents in MI6. She had no reason to be apologetic about it. As depicted in movies, the goal of intelligence agencies is to save the masses. A single casualty is an acceptable loss.
"Bond, If You Could Avoid Killing Every Possible Lead, It Would Be Deeply Appreciated."
Bond didn't hesitate to murder M's bodyguard, Craig Mitchell, when he revealed himself to be a double agent working for QUANTUM in Quantum Of Solace. Instead of getting a "thank you" from M, the MI6 head sarcastically requested him to not kill all enemies, so that they could at least get them to talk.
Despite being an effective agent, Bond's weakness often proves problematic for the agency. Thanks to his "license to kill," he is often too trigger-happy and M was right to point this out. This behavior says a lot about Bond's judgment and why he has never been promoted to a higher rank, despite being talented on the field. He is incapable of determining when to let someone live or die.
"Your Interior Decorating Tips Have Always Been Appreciated, 007."
The MI6 building was targeted for the first time in Skyfall, leading to several agent deaths and plenty of damage. Surprisingly, the porcelain bulldog statue that Bond had placed on M's desk remained intact. Both Bond and M found this amusing.
Having seen enough attacks and death in their careers it made sense for both M and Bond to be unfazed by what was at that time the biggest terrorist attack in British history. M felt that Bond's interior decorations (specifically the statue among other items) were so good that even explosions could not mess with them.
"These Bastards Want Your Head And I'm Seriously Considering Feeding You To Them."
There are a number of Bond kills that went too far and one happened in Casino Royale, where he caused a massacre in Madagascar at an embassy while pursuing the bomb-maker, Mollaka. The British government was pressured to punish Bond and M seemed like she was considering it.
This was but a mild threat meant to extract some good behavior out of Bond going forward. Even though M appeared angry with him at the time, it was obvious that she was never going to do anything about his misdemeanors. Bond has always been a valuable weapon to the British government and the wise M has always known they can't do without him.
"Unlike The American Government, We Prefer Not To Get Our Bad News From CNN."
After Bond returned from Monte Carlo and found MI6 agents monitoring the Severnaya electromagnetic pulse blast in Goldeneye, he was quite shocked. He tried to confirm whether what they were watching was real and got the typical M-like answer.
The CNN reference was a clever one, as it didn't make much sense for Bond to question whether the feed was real, considering how long he had served in the MI6. An agent like him ought to have known that his employers get access to such kind of information even before the news agencies do.
"You Woke Me To Share His Holiday Plans?"
M's assistant, Villiers, called her in the middle of the night upon discovering that Bond was in the Bahamas in Casino Royale. He didn't say exactly what he was doing there at the time since he wasn't aware he was chasing after the corrupt Greek official, Alex Dimitrios. As expected, M wasn't too thrilled.
Bond has a penchant for globetrotting and that's something M is used to. It was thus understandable for her to be woken up only to be told, "He's in the Bahamas."
"They Don’t Care What We Do, They Care What We Get Photographed Doing."
One of the reasons why Judi Dench is the best M is that she always appeared to have an accurate picture of what's in the mind of her enemies and associates. After the Madagascar incident in Casino Royale, M lamented that everyone was so concerned about what was reported in the press instead of the gain made.
M was right to be angry since, despite shooting up an embassy, Bond had stopped one of the world's most dangerous bomb makers. But since more emphasis is placed on bad news, no one was appreciating the fact that MI6 just stopped a major threat. It's for the reason that major players in the world of espionage have always insisted on plausible deniability.
"I Think You're A Sexist, Misogynist Dinosaur. A Relic Of The Cold War."
M's argument with Bond at the MI6 offices early in Goldeneye was a passionate one. In a shocking rant, she labeled him a misogynist and an agent whose usefulness had dwindled since the end of the Cold War.
M was right about Bond being a misogynist since one of the problems fans and critics have with the agent is his treatment of women. But as for Bond being a relic of the Cold War, this is far from accurate. In fact, judging from recent movies, the MI6 star agent has fit in with modern times quite well.
"He’s The Best We Have, Though I’d Never Tell Him."
Before sending Bond on his newest mission in The World Is Not Enough, M admitted that he was the best agent in MI6. She also something that this was something she'd never say to his face.
Bond's ego was already gargantuan at that point and M was aware that stroking it any further might result in unpleasant outcomes for the intelligence agency. Agent 007 had a record of disobeying orders and knowing how much he was valued would have motivated him to break rules even more.
"Remember, Shadows Stay In Front Or Behind. Never On Top."
In The World Is Not Enough, M instructed Bond to warm up to the villainous oil heiress, Elektra King, in a manner she wouldn't suspect. Bond asked her whether she wanted him to do a shadow operation, to which M had a totally funny and creative response.
By mentioning that shadows should not be on top, M was urging Bond to stick to the job and not sleep with Elektra. Judging from history, Agent 007 always ends up sleeping with women that he's supposed to bring down. This behavior rarely jeopardizes the mission, but it isn't something that Bond's bosses are proud of.