The gang of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, consisting of Mac, Dennis, Charlie, Dee, and Frank, are perhaps the worst people ever on television. Throughout 14 seasons, they have not grown whatsoever. In fact, they have arguably ended up becoming the worst possible versions of themselves.
Throughout many hilarious situations and schemes, the gang has shown a complete lack of self-awareness, empathy, and morals. As this is a show with little to no consequences, they have somehow managed to evade the law as well. In reality, they should have all been locked up by now for countless offenses.
Running A Bar For Minors
On an unusually busy night for Paddy’s Pub, Dennis realizes that some of the patrons are underage. While initially hesitant to let it continue, the gang discusses the benefits of allowing all of these high schoolers into their bar, stating that it’s safer at Paddy’s Pub than drinking in the park and possibly getting stabbed. They even create some ground rules such as no driving and a four-drink minimum.
No matter how much they try to spin it, though, it’s still illegal. If discovered, Paddy’s Pub would be shut down indefinitely. The owners, Mac and Dennis, would surely find themselves in prison for knowingly supplying alcohol to minors.
Blowing Up A Building
After someone ends up buying the property that Paddy’s Pub is on, the gang tries to figure out a way to get this guy to leave. As with most episodes of the show, their plan is a bit extreme. It’s definitely one of the darkest things they had done and this was early on in Season 2.
Since the man is Jewish, Dennis and Mac get the terrible idea to film a fake terrorist video to scare him away. However, after seeing what they had filmed, they realize this was going too far. Instead, they just choose to throw a flaming bag of dog poop into the man’s building, totally unaware of the gas leak that is occurring. As expected, the entire building blows up. It turns out that Charlie also sent the video despite Mac and Dennis calling it off. Surely, pretending to be terrorists and blowing up a building (unintentional or not) would get the attention of Homeland Security.
Pretending To Be Cops
While looking to get a junkyard dog, Dennis, Frank, and Charlie end up, instead, with an immortal cat and an old police car. Wanting to clean up the streets of Philadelphia, Frank buys police uniforms for himself and Dennis and has the cop car fixed up.
Frank and Dennis soon realize the perks of being cops, letting the power get to their heads. They take advantage of the hot dog man always giving them freebies. They also rob people who are jaywalking and loitering. Impersonating a police officer would definitely get Frank and Dennis locked, especially considering the robbing. Despite Charlie’s best efforts to fight this corruption, they ended up getting away with it.
Poisoning A Group Of College Students
The gang finds out that their ten-year ban for the annual “Flipadelphia” has been lifted and they set out to reignite their rivalry with another local bar. It turns out that the gang was banned for allegedly poisoning the other bar during the game of flip cup.
After getting harassed by college students from Dennis’s former fraternity, they soon start a new rivalry. While doing another game with frat boys, the gang pulls out an old trick and poisons this group of college kids. In the eyes of the gang, poisoning people is a prank. In the eyes of the law, this would be considered assault.
Holding A Family Hostage And Destroying Their Home
Wanting to do some good deeds, the gang decides to live out their own version of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and give the recently moved in Juarez family a new home. The problem is, the Juarez did not volunteer. Instead, the gang decides to go “extreme” by breaking in and kidnapping the family.
While Dennis, Frank, and Charlie destroy the Juarez home with the intention to fix it up, Mac and Dee hold the family hostage. As expected with any sort of hard labor, the gang gets lazy and gives up, with absolutely no regard for the home they just demolished. The only consequence the gang faced was giving up Frank’s mansion to the Juarez family but they should have also faced criminal charges for kidnapping.
Beating Up Children
Only in It’s Alway In Philadelphia can a scene where grown men savagely beat up children be absolutely hysterical. Such is the case in the episode where Mac and Charlie finally get their revenge on a childhood bully.
After Mac and Charlie get their bikes stolen from these punk kids, they find one of them is the child of their childhood bully. After building up the courage, they decide to get their bikes back by beating the kids to a pulp. Charlie even believes he may have killed one of them later. Grown men beating teenagers is a surefire way to find yourself in prison.
Locking People In A Burning Apartment
Perhaps the best way to squash beef with your rivals is not to leave them inside a burning apartment. That would be the logical thought, anyway, but this is the Always Sunny we’re talking about.
After deciding to make amends with their rivals (for selfish reasons, mind you), the gang invites those who they have wronged to Thanksgiving dinner. One of these rivalries is Frank and his landlord, Hwang. Frank refuses to pay rent until Hwang fixes the heat. In a not-so-subtle flex, Frank lights a stack of cash on fire in front of Hwang. Later on, this ends up creating a fire in the apartment, which Dennis promptly locks them all in. Not only was the fire created by Frank, but leaving them to burn in the fire is definitely illegal.
Kidnapping And Robbing People On St. Patrick’s Day
In an effort to expand their business on St. Patrick’s Day, Dennis comes up with The Paddy Wagon, a bar/truck they can use during the holiday. While the customers would prefer to use cash, Dennis angrily insists that they get the whole experience by downloading the app to order a drink.
A regular person would just allow these poor customers out of the wagon. Instead, Dennis holds them at gunpoint to stay, even taking pictures of them for his “website.” With no other options, they just decide to drive the customers out to the forest but not before taking their wallets. This is also the episode where Charlie tortures a little person, believing him to be a leprechaun, so that can be added to the list of charges as well.
Committing Tax Fraud
Once Sweet Dee is paid for being a surrogate mother, she also decides to claim that baby as a dependent on her taxes. After the IRS shows up at her door, Dee needs to figure out a way to prove she still has a baby. Frank learns what’s going on and rushes to help as he does not want the IRS investigating Paddy’s Pub.
It turns out that Frank has (not surprisingly) been cooking the books for years, coming up with fake corporations such as Wolf Cola. In a scheme that only the Always Sunny gang could conjure up, they hold a fake funeral for the baby. Frank even goes as far as giving a quick endorsement by drinking Wolf Cola in his time of grieving. If there’s one thing that will land you in prison, it’s avoiding your taxes.
Their Various Sins On The Cruise Ship
In the penultimate episode, "The Gang Goes To Hell," the gang reflects on the various crimes that led them to this moment. It all takes place on a Christian cruise, where a giant wave capsizes the ship.
Dee’s self-esteem gets the better of her, so she punches a magician. Dennis essentially threatens to assault a young woman (because of the implication). Last, but not least, Frank and Charlie get hammered off of boat fuel, eventually trying to take over the Captain’s quarters. All of these sins are confessed in front of an insurance agent, meaning it's now on record and the gang should have gotten arrested.