The entire premise of How I Met Your Mother was that it was a show which, while being marketed as a sitcom, had a lot of dramatic elements to it. Making it the way we know it to be was Ted Mosby, the man responsible for many funny and sad moments.
Ted was always one to make big declarations of love and to also let it be known how heartbroken he was when he fell short in life. He articulated himself through his words, both during times of hilarity and sadness. To remember these times we’re looking at five each of his funniest and heartbreaking quotes.
Funny: "I'm Vomit Free Since '93!"
One of the first examples we got that Ted wouldn’t be like just any other sitcom character was when he showed a hilarious obsession with keeping this streak alive. Even though it’s not an actual accomplishment, he bragged about how he’d avoided vomiting since 1993.
To be honest, though, while Ted’s frequent touting was funny, you have to hand it to the guy for having kept this up for all of twelve years by that point. Plus, after he lamented that he had vomited in the episode, “Vomit free since ‘05” really didn’t have the same ring to it.
Heartbreaking: "Even Then, At The Worst Of Times, All I Could Do Was Thank God."
It’s true that the finale made Ted’s love for The Mother out to be only mentioned in passing to an extent, but there were some genuinely heartfelt moments on display. The clearest one of those was when he proclaimed appreciation to God for letting him meet his wife.
Even then, Ted tried to look at the positives by acknowledging that he’d finally got the family life he wanted through her, but it was unfortunate that he would have to become a widower only four years after marrying The Mother.
Funny: "There's A Reason Your Name Is Robin, Not Batman."
Ted was clearly the geek kid in school who made up his own imaginary games and felt proud of them, which we saw in some way when he started playing detective. After Marshall and Lily’s place was found empty, Ted put clues together and surmised that they’d had a fight.
Coming up to his own conclusion over the reasoning for the spat, he refused to believe Robin when she told him the actual reason. And what was his defense? That would be because Robin shared the name of Batman’s sidekick rather than the superhero himself.
Heartbreaking: "I Love You. I'm Always Going To Love You. Till The End Of My Days...And Beyond."
This is one of those quotes that just tears you apart as seen from a retrospective angle. At the time the episode aired, it made fans curious why Ted was so emotional talking about meeting The Mother, but it’s clear now why that was the case.
He claimed that he was only 45 days away from meeting her during the events of the story, but he’d still hurry to meet her had he known it was about to happen. It was because she’d been dead for years by 2030 that Past Ted said he’d love her “till the end of his days,” and one realizes that the guy’s been raising his kids all alone since then.
Funny: "My Parents Live In Ohio. I Live In The Moment."
It’s a good thing Ted met Marshall the time that he did, as his high school girlfriend Karen would have otherwise permanently turned him into the stuck-up teenager that he was at one point. When Marshall asked him if his parents were from Ohio, Ted gave the most pretentious answer ever.
Despite the fact that “the moment” isn’t an actual physical place, he insisted that was where he hailed from and refused to acknowledge his real hometown. At least he outgrew that phase so everyone could have a good laugh about it.
Heartbreaking: "I Have To Let Go Now..."
This can be seen as heartbreaking in two ways in that you could either interpret it as Ted reluctantly letting go of the thought of being with Robin, or the fact that he was lying to himself. As it happened, this was the moment where Ted thought he was finally abandoning all hope of ever winning Robin back.
In order to make it real for himself, he said what he was thinking out loud, even imagining her floating away from his grasp. However, as we know by the finale, Ted was really just convincing himself that he’d moved on when he really hadn't.
Funny: "Spiders Gotta Die...So Trees Can Grow."
Ted wasn’t much better than Barney when it came to impressing girls, as he would often put on an act just to make it seem like he was a big shot. However, it only ever worked on gullible girls who fell for this act.
One of these was Robin's coworker Becky, to whom Ted came across like a big, strong man when he stepped on a spider to “protect” her from it. He even conjured up this nonsensical quote to justify his actions, although it turned out the spider was only injured, leading to a scared Ted hiding in fear of the spider’s revenge.
Heartbreaking: "I've Waited And Waited For It To Happen...I Guess, I'm Tired Of Waiting."
Ted’s frustration at not having found “The One” was palpable by the fourth season, where he voiced it out to Stella of all people. When the latter told him why she chose Tony over him, Ted remarked that he understood but it didn’t make the wait for the right person any easier.
Considering he was the guy who’d been searching for a real relationship right from the start and to then see all his friends find that before him, one can understand why Ted was so beat up about the whole thing.
Funny: "Sun's Gonna Come Up Soon. Wouldn't Want To Be Around For That, Would We?"
After exclusively seeing Carl the Bartender only at nighttime, Marshall came up with the theory that he might be a vampire. While he initially ignored Marshall’s theory, Ted eventually ended up believing it in his inebriated state.
When Carl told Ted he’d had enough to drink and that it was getting late, the latter shot back that, being a vampire, the only reason Carl wanted him to go home was that the sun was about to come up. Even funnier is how Carl never actually denied being a vampire, so maybe Ted wasn't wrong.
Heartbreaking: "I Would've Stolen You A Whole Orchestra."
Sure, Ted’s obsession with Robin eventually became really off-putting, but he did display real maturity when the two first broke up. Although it emotionally killed him to have to end the relationship, Ted realized that he and Robin wanted different things. In true Ted Mosby fashion, though, he made one last grand gesture of sorts.
When Robin remembered that he stole the blue french horn for her, Ted claimed he had no regrets and that he would’ve stolen the whole orchestra had it meant that he would see Robin smiling. Too bad this sentiment came at a time when they were ending things.