It’s hard to imagine that anyone reading this needs an introduction to director Chris Columbus’ 1990 Christmas classic Home Alone. The tale of Kevin McAllister (Macaulay Culkin) – a young boy accidentally left behind by his family during the holidays – and his battle to defend his home from hapless burglars Harry and Marv (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) has become one of the most widely beloved Christmas movies in existence in the decades since its release. This is especially true for those who grew up in the 90s.
As has been said many times, when looked at through an adult lens, the fact that Kevin is able to craft such elaborate traps for his tormentors is actually kind of unsettling. (He is so talented at devising death traps that a popular fan theory online suggests that Kevin – damaged by the trauma of his two encounters with the Wet Bandits – grew up to be Saw series villain John “Jigsaw” Kramer.) Of course, the things Kevin does to Harry and Marv in Home Alone are played for laughs and not screams.
For all they endure, the two burglars never really seem to sustain any kind of serious or life-threatening injuries. In reality, nearly every trap Kevin sets would have a high probability of brutally killing one or both of the burglars, but when no real damage appearing to occur, the effect is akin to a harmless Looney Tunes cartoon. Youtube user BitMassive has seen fit to change all that, by digitally adding blood, gore, and visible bodily damage to different trap scenes from Home Alone and Home Alone 2. One can be seen above, with two more embedded below, and presumably more to come.
The above edited clips definitely serve to cast Kevin’s carnage in a new light, especially clip 3, with the way repeatedly throwing bricks into Marv’s head outright causes it to cave inward. Clip 2 is also likely to ruin many childhoods, as it seems that in this universe, the neighborhood legends about Old Man Marley (Roberts Blossom) aren’t too far off target.
The horrors of the above edits aside, it could be argued that Harry and Marv still deserve what they get, considering that they are attempting to burglarize someone’s home, and it’s unclear what they would have actually done to Kevin had they been able to get their hands on him right away. Is exploding someone’s face disproportionate retribution? Probably, but hey, they say crime doesn’t pay for a reason.
Source: BitMassive (via Bloody Disgusting)
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