Scrubs was a comedy show about working at a hospital. It centers around the perspective of J.D. who is a resident at Sacred Heart Hospital, and shows how the people in the medical profession deal with their job through humorous means. It also is a sort of parody to some of the popular hospital dramas, such as General Hospital.
While the doctors in Scrubs are used to performing miracles everyday in their job of restoring people’s health, most of them would probably love to have some real magic in their lives, to make the job of being a doctor easier. Luckily, Hogwarts is right around the corner for these workers in the medical profession and the sorting hat is ready to separate them in the four various houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff.
Jordan: Slytherin
While Jordan somewhat mellows out throughout the show, it is a no-brainer that she is Slytherin. Jordan is Dr. Cox’s romantic interest throughout the show, and his former wife. Aside from her relationship with Dr. Cox, she was once a board member for Sacred Heart Hospital. She is certainly not against causing mayhem among people, and seemingly loves to cause cruelty and misery to those around her, at least within reason. In her truly most devious moment, she slept with J.D. to make Dr. Cox mad, and sow dissent among the other doctors. There was no real gain for her doing this other than to make people unhappy, and for her to find pleasure in hurting Dr. Cox.
Ted: Ravenclaw
As Dr. Kelso’s and Sacred Heart’s lawyer, Ted is basically the stereotype of a middle-aged male going through a mid-life crisis. He is depressed, divorced, and generally incompetent. This may make people think of him as a Hufflepuff, since they tend to get the short end of the stick compared to the other houses. However, that is insulting and inaccurate to Hufflepuffs. Ted is actually a Ravenclaw, who has spent most of his life in a profession that he did not actually want. First off, while Ted is not a great lawyer, he has gotten Sacred Heart out of some jams at times, and it is not easy to get through law school, so he must be kind of smart. Additionally, Ted’s true calling is music as he is shown to have a talent and passion as an accapella singer and guitarist. Eventually, he realizes his creative Ravenclaw side and leaves the hospital to tour around the world with his wife.
Todd: Gryffindor
It is easy to hate Todd as he is generally creepy around the women of Sacred Heart. The plus side is that he is not really getting anywhere with anyone though. Todd is a surgeon, and is part of the proof that the surgeons are the jocks of the medical field in Scrubs. Similarly, Gryffindors are the jocks of the wizarding world, so it would make sense for someone like Todd to be in Gryffindor. He may not have the passionate values of honor that most Gryffindors have, but he definitely has that bold and brash behavior they are also known for.
Dr. Kelso: Slytherin
In so many ways Dr. Kelso is the perfect Slytherin. He is the Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart, and because of that he often has to play the bad guy in order to keep the hospital running. Occasionally, he relishes in his role and finds satisfaction in being mean to people, but also at times shows a sense of compassion and views his role at the hospital as being a necessary evil. It is kind of vague, as to where he stands morally and that is exactly what a Slytherin should be. A person who plays the system so well, that no one is actually sure what their true intentions or reasons are.
Carla: Hufflepuff
Easily the best character in terms of commitment to the job, Carla is a nurse for Sacred Heart and the wife of Turk. She is competent in everything, and is occasionally more knowledgeable than doctors. She fits best as a Hufflepuff due to her general concern and interest in helping and supporting others. She does have some traits of Slytherin, such as he cleverness and eye for picking out deceit, but does not really have any grand ambitions and is content in being a great nurse and mother. Additionally, she has always been an advice giver for people and in the early seasons of the show, was devoted in helping her mother.
The Janitor: Slytherin
Not much is really known about The Janitor, other than his strange hobbies and that he enjoys messing with people. No one is even sure if he is actually a real janitor due to how little work he actuall y does. He spends most of his time messing with J.D. in intricate and unnecessary ways, which seems to be satisfying enough for him most of the time. He has some sense of loyalty to people he likes which could maybe put him in Hufflepuff, but his general mischief is what makes him a Slytherin.
Dr. Cox: Gryffindor
There is no greater doctor in the show than Dr. Cox. He serves as a reluctant mentor to J.D., and eventually becomes Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart. Dr. Cox is generally an angry and hateful person, but deep down really cares about helping people. He may seem harsh and cruel to the people around him, but that is because he feels the need to push the doctors to do their job. Perhaps, his occasional leniency to mentally abuse his subordinate could put him into Slytherin, but mostly he does this make people toughen up for the demanding job of working in the medical profession. His general attitude as someone who feels like they need to force their ideals as well as his willingness to speak his mind freely are both qualities that make him fit as a Gryffindor.
Turk: Gryffindor
The best friend of J.D. and Chief of Surgery at Sacred Heart, Turk is generally a happy goofball who likes to have fun at the hospital. His buddy attitude towards J.D. could possibly land him into Hufflepuff, as he is always willing to get into shenanigans and slack off. However, like Todd, he has a jock mentality and tends to make everything a competition to the point of it being a fault. When it comes to competing, he is not afraid to disagree with his friends, which fits as a Gryffindor.
Elliot: Slytherin
The ambition of this private practice doctor is what makes her a Slytherin. She is the on-and-off again romantic interest to J.D., who tends to have self-doubt about her own skills as a doctor. Throughout the show, Elliot has a lot of concerns about being a good doctor more so than anything else. She certainly cares about her patients, but not to the point where she feels the need to always be there for them. She is also one of the only doctors on the show who was shown to have a specific interest in the medical field, as she wanted to be an endocrinology expert for the longest time. This desire to land a specific job she has set herself to get is very Slytherin.
J.D.: Ravenclaw
There is no mistake that J.D. is a good doctor. He is certainly knowledgeable within the medical field and takes an interest in his profession. While his devotion to helping his patients could sort him as a Hufflepuff, J.D. is not great when it comes to personal relationships. In fact he is usually pretty selfish and says some mean things to people he cares about often. This is especially true for his romantic relationships, to which he tends to be immature. His inteligence and creativity are what make him a Ravenclaw. He is certainly one of the best doctors in the hospital and day dreams a lot.