Nick Kroll is a one-of-a-kind comedic actor who never fails to deliver the big laughs. Kroll has the gifted ability to create distinctively odd characters that are unlike any we've seen before. His specific brand of humor (and genius) is so strange, we can't help but find ourselves gravitating towards anything he puts out into the universe.
Whether it's his animated sitcom Big Mouth about middle schoolers going through puberty with their very own hormone monsters, or if it's the brilliant genius that is Oh, Hello featuring John Mulaney, his work will continue to keep us laughing until the end of time. What are some of his most hilarious quotes of all? Read the list below to find out!
"BANG-VOYAGE!!!"
On Kroll Show, Nick Kroll (Liz G) and Jenny Slate (Liz B) work at PubLIZity (because of their names-uh!). While Liz B decides to have a baby, Liz G makes an even bolder decision- to get bangs! Although Liz G is super proud of her "incredibly brave" decision to get bangs, Liz B seems unfazed by the completely heroic act. Liz G goes off to the "crying room" to let it all out, and she then storms out of the office with the most amazing sendoff line of all time: "BANG-VOYAGE!".
It is truly the most accurate and hilarious depiction of reality TV shows that love to dramatize the most utterly mundane events, such as one getting bangs. Many fans of Nick Kroll are certain of the fact that his Liz G character is what sprung Lola from Big Mouth to life.
"ORRPAH WINFREY SAID NO?!"
Liz & Liz of PubLIZity have been hired to throw a party for the Illuminati. They have sent out multiple invitations to A-list celebrities who all, of course, declined to attend. As Liz G reads off all of the declined invitations, one of them includes Oprah's refusal to attend the event.
Yet instead of referring to her properly as "Oprah" Liz G calls her "OR-PAH" and it's just so classicly Nick Kroll that it makes us scream with laughter. His brand of humor is so strange and ridiculous that it's hard not to laugh at anything that comes out of his mouth.
"WE SHOULD LIKE TOTALLY CUDDLE AFTER I GET A STRING CHEESE FROM THE GARAGE"
"Garage" is pronounced "garaageeuhh", of course, because this line comes directly from his character Lola on Big Mouth after she and Andrew decide to get physical together. Lola is easily the funniest character on Big Mouth because Nick Kroll is always at his best when he gets to be fully exaggerated, and no one is more obnoxious and exaggerated than Lola.
She may have some serious anger problems, (which is why she gets along so well with Andrew's dad), but when it comes down to it all Lola wants is to be accepted and to like totally cuddle with Andrew Glouberman after getting a string cheese from the gagaraageeuhh. It's not like she's asking for much!
"I REMAIN LONELY"
Jenna: Coach Steve, do you ever get lonely?
Coach Steve: Of course not. I remain lonely.
...Don't we all?
Nick Kroll is not only the writer and creator of Big Mouth on Netflix, but he is also the man behind the many voices on the show. Seriously, this man is a true talent. One of the best characters he portrays on Big Mouth is Coach Steve, the utterly clueless gym Coach.
He is also the school's sex ed teacher, despite the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about intercourse and he is a 40+-year-old virgin. Yet regardless of how shockingly dumb he is, we can't help but love Coach Steve and his...er... "eccentric" ways. Coach Steve is his name, remaining lonely is his game. But hey, at least he has his "bad mitten" to keep him company! (He's not a good mitten, he's a baaaad mitten).
"LOOK AT THAT, FREE SHARDS OF GLASS!"
Speaking of Coach Steve, we just can't get enough of that crazy old lunatic. Of course, Coach Steve would be the only person in the world to get a kick out of finding shards of glass, something we usually prefer to avoid unless we want to expose ourselves to horrific pain and bloodshed.
Yet good ol' Steve-O finds the beauty in the smallest things, including "free shards of glass". But that makes us wonder... did he ever actually collect shards of glass that weren't free? Knowing him, he probably spent all of his rent money on broken glass, because priorities. You gotta do what ya gotta do, right?
"WE NEVER GET HEAVY BECAUSE OLIVE OIL... AND THAT'S WHAT WE SAY"
"...And we so much can eat as much as we want and never get heavy because olive oil... so that's what we say."
In this sketch on Kroll Show, Kroll plays a host at a European hostel called "Spotted Ox Hostel." His exaggeratedly European character tries to introduce you to the European lifestyle, which includes lots of cigarette smoking, one and a half hours of work, and food that consist of olive oil.
The European motto out of all possible mottos is "And we so much can eat as much as we want and never get heavy because olive oil..." This European saying is so deep and meaningful, we're tearing up a bit at the weight of these words. Yet that "weight" isn't much, because "olive oil"...
"CASSANDRA, JUST WAIT FOR LIKE A NATURAL LULL IN THE CONVERSATION!"
On PubLIZity, Liz and Liz cannot STAND their co-worker Cassandra (for no reason whatsoever because Cassandra is perfectly nice), and they become quite angry when she tries to speak to them about a work-related issue during an "unnatural lull" in the conversation.
The funniest part is that Cassandra does speak during a "natural lull" in the conversation when both Liz B and Liz G pause to take aggressive sips from their iced lattes. Poor Cassandra! It's a good thing she ends up quitting PubLIZity, but maybe that means we can take her spot and fill in for her position! We'd love to work somewhere that has its own personal "crying room".
"ASHRAM KITCHEN'S 'PRANK'D'"
Translation: Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd.
In Nick Kroll and John Mulaney's sketch for Oh, Hello, their characters George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon decide to create their own prank show a-la Ashton Kutcher's TV series Punk'd. They come up with the genius idea of calling their prank show "Too Much Tuna" because the whole purpose of their show is to prank people by giving them too much tuna. Brilliant, right?
Turns out, not so much. Whenever they try pranking people by giving them too much tuna with their food, the people just end up loving the excessive amount of tuna fish. In that way, they don't even consider themselves pranked, just lucky to have so much food. It's Nick Kroll and John Mulaney at their best (which is saying a lot because they're constantly perfect together).
"MY MOM WROTE ME A CHECK FOR A BREAST REDUCTION BUT I SPENT IT ON A PRETTY LITTLE LIARS MEET AND GREET"
This line is said by Lola on Big Mouth and it kind of, sort of, subtly made the world a better place. Seriously, we didn't know how much we needed this quote in our lives until it was uttered in Lola's unique drawl and it perfectly encaptures Nick Kroll's observant sense of humor.
Although Kroll is a 41-year-old man, he is still up to date on Pretty Little Liars meet and greets- Now that is a true man right there if you ask us. With Lola, you never know what nonsense is going to come pouring out of her yet it never fails to make us crack up. Of course, this is all thanks to Kroll and his ability to create the strangest characters of all time. Seriously. Where does he come up with this stuff?
"OKAY SHUT UP, I JUST GOT A TEST MESSAGE"
This line is said by Kroll's character Bobby Bottleservice on Cheatin'. Cheatin' is a sketch on Kroll Show, meant to be a parody of the reality show Cheaters. Yet on Bobby Bottleservice's Cheatin', the "cheaters" are respected and patted on the back for cheating. According to Bobby Bottleservice, people have affairs all the time.
This includes "famous" and "important" people, such as JFK, Newt Gingrich, and Shaggy. How Kroll comes up with these sketch ideas is beyond us, but we admire his creative abilities and every single one of his incredibly odd characters.