When looking for a long-running video game franchise that deftly combines great storytelling, memorable characters and non-stop violence in a massive open world, Grand Theft Auto has to be on the top of that list. It has become one of the biggest names in the industry thanks to some over-the-top action set in some incredibly vibrant environments.
But a big part of what makes the franchise work is that it's not afraid to be funny at times, if not downright weird. Many of the characters have hilarious lines, particularly Trevor from GTA V. Most of what comes out of his mouth a combination of hilarious and horrifying.
"I Said Something Nice, Not Something Expensive!"
GTA V was the first game in the franchise to make use of three protagonists, but the main one was arguably Franklin. Much of the story hinges on his journey, and the choice he has to make at the end of the game.
When Trevor, one of the other protagonists, met Franklin's Aunt Denise, things went south incredibly quickly. He was smitten and gave her $7 dollars to buy something nice. When she protested, his rant included the epic line, "I said something nice, not something expensive!"
"Great. Seems Like The Marriage Was At Least Profitable."
Grand Theft Auto IV took players back to Liberty City, this time as Niko Bellic. He was an immigrant and former soldier from Yugoslavia who came to America looking for a better life. Niko was also incredibly whiny and annoying to play.
When Niko was talking to a woman named Sara about her ex-husband, she excitedly described how much money she was going to get from him. Niko quite flatly commented, "Great. Seems like the marriage was at least profitable." She did not disagree.
"... And Tell Him We'll Need Chips And Dip And ..."
Knowing Trevor was a bit of a double-edged sword. He was an incredibly loyal friend, and definitely the kind of person who would help in the toughest situations. But he was also a plague that would tear someone's world apart.
When Trevor went to Los Santos, he crashed at an apartment belonging to his "friend" Wade's cousin, Floyd. Trevor destroyed Floyd's life in a manner typified by the line, "Tell Floyd it's a great idea to meet at the condo, and tell him we'll need chips and dip and prostitutes."
"No, I Think You're Plenty Stupid Enough For Both Of Us."
While there are several games in the franchise at this point, Grant Theft Auto: Vice City is still regarded as one of the best. It told the story of Tommy Vercetti, an ex-con who found himself in a city analogous to Miami in the 1980s.
Tommy liked to yell. A lot. And he was constantly infuriated by all of the unrepentant idiocy around him. When Umberto Robina asked if he was being stupid, he quipped back with, "No, I think you're plenty stupid enough for both of us."
"Who The F@#$ Is Tommy?"
While it isn't always obvious, there is actually a lot of continuity between games in the GTA universe. This was especially true of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, which was set in the 1990s in the franchise's version of Southern California.
Lead character CJ was talking to a Vice City character named Ken Rosenberg, who brought up that game's lead character Tommy. CJ replied with the only possible and logical question, "Who the f@#$ is Tommy?"
"So, You Giving Me A Lecture ..."
Franklin's part of the story in GTA V may have been the most engaging aspect of it. His desire to become successful was the instigating factor of the entire game. Plus, he was the one saddled with the choice of killing Trevor, Michael, or neither of them at the game's climax.
At one point, his friend Lamar and Aunt Denise were chastising him for not being there for his soon-to-be former gang members. He came back with, "So, you giving me a lecture about not being a good enough gangbanger?"
"... But I Am Productivity Personified."
It's hard to pin down which life choice made by Trevor was the worst, simply because it's weird when he made anything close to a good one. When the story caught up with him in the desert, he ended up killing a character from GTA IV.
But if there's one thing that Trevor loved, it's engaging in any possible vice that life offers, which is what led to killing that guy. But according to him, that's all part of his system, "I'm cranked out on speed most of the time, but I am productivity personified."
"Ooh, You Just Made This Real Easy For Me."
An odd fact about Trevor that comes up in the game was the fact that he was Canadian. This got mentioned most frequently during his Rampage missions. In fact, insults around his Canadian heritage were often the inciting incident for his violent tendencies.
That happened when a guy named Joe said, "Stay outta this, you dumb Canadian!" Trevor came back with, "Ooh, you just made this real easy for me." Things went downhill quickly for Joe from there.
"If That's Our Standard For Goodness ..."
Michael had a lot of family problems in GTA V, which was one of the many contributing factors that drove him into therapy. In particular, he really didn't seem to like his son, who spent most of his life on things Michael hated.
In one session with Dr. Isiah Friedlander, the topic of his son came up and Michael went into great detail as to why he didn't like him. Saying, "If that's our standard for goodness, then no wonder this country's screwed," wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement.
"You Made A Bit Of Money, And You Became A Turd."
One of Trevor's best qualities was his ability to cut right to the core of a situation. He didn't mince words and had no use for small talk. Sure, that often ended with gangs of drug dealers trying to kill him, but it was still part of his charm.
This was certainly true with Michael. They had a lot of baggage from their old days in the same gang, and Michael faking his death. But even as their relationship was rebuilt, he knew how to get to Michael, especially when he said, "You made a bit of money, and you became a turd."