Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) had interludes aka hook-ups aka drive-bys and very few actual relationships. Unlike Marnie (Allison Williams) who was always looking for someone better than the guy she was with, Jessa (Jemima Kirke) who would get married on a whim or thought nothing of taking someone else's guy, or Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) who had a rigid checklist no actual human could live up to, their writer friend just wanted someone to understand her.
Indeed, she was an acquired taste with more issues than a magazine subscription, but in the end, Hannah did find the man of her dreams: son, Grover.
Best: Elijah
Technically, the boyishly handsome Elijah (Andrew Rannells) and Hannah were boyfriend/girlfriend during their last two years at Oberlin and shared the dream of living their adult lives in New York City. Then he came out and they entered the friend/roommate zone.
The beauty of the way their platonic relationship plays out is that it's the most honest for her, with him never hesitating to call her on her BS. Her pregnancy ends their living arrangement, though, as she doesn't want to recreate the former relationship of her parents.
Worst: Adam
Contrary to popular belief, Adam (Adam Driver) was not a boyfriend; he was an addiction. Being aloof was his allure, and their relationship was basically watching Hannah try to get him or get him back. In between, when they were actually together, she was so insecure about their coupledom, she'd sabotage it.
They totally ended after she gets pregnant by another man, and out of guilt or pity, Adam tells her he'll raise her child with her, which they both know is a nice gesture but unrealistic.
Best: Fran
Jake Lacy's character and Hannah meet when she substitute teaches at the school where he's a history teacher. Fran is nice looking and employed, so of course, at first, she uses him to make Adam jealous. For this "regular guy" who is also a bit basic, Hannah is just the right amount of crazy to make him feel like he's living on the edge.
Even though he didn't always like Hannah, he loved her, but that wasn't enough and she bails on their RV trip leaving him to feel like he wasted a year of his life.
Worst: Frank
The late Nick Lashaway played Jessa's younger, sort of step-brother (his mother lives with Jessa's father) who has a "moment" with Hannah when she accompanies Jessa upstate to visit her estranged dad.
The next day, Frank is still a virgin, so it's clear that their sexual activity in the cemetery after having done whip-its did not go that far and he lashes out at Hannah for using him. His anger though covers his jealousy that Jessa was with Tyler, who Frank actually is interested in.
Best: Eric
He was such a mid-western cutie with great hair, but alas not a keeper. Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) and Hannah reconnected when she returned to Michigan for her parent's 30th wedding anniversary party.
Her high school friend is now a pharmacist who makes soft-core love to her. But Hannah, too used to hard-core Adam, finds him boring and he is put off by what he sees as her vulgarity. He, like East Lansing, is too small time for Hannah and another nice-looking guy with a job bites the dust.
Worst: Paul-Louis
Oh, what is left to say about this guy. One might conclude that if nothing else, at least she got Grover out this encounter, and perhaps motherhood will be the linchpin that will allow this woman/child to grow up and focus on something more than herself.
Paul-Louis (Riz Ahmed), the surfer one-night stand Hannah had on assignment in Montauk, reacted to her expecting nothing from him apropos of her having his child was, "Thanks for telling me, I guess. Ok, cool, well good luck." Same to you buddy.
Best: Joshua
Doctor Joshua (Patrick Wilson) had matinee idol looks, money, and a brownstone. They met when Hannah confessed she'd been disposing of Ray's cafe trash in his dumpster. He invites her in, they kiss, have sex on the kitchen island, and for the next 48 hours, eat steaks, drink wine, and play topless ping pong.
The fantasy ended Monday morning when she awoke to find he'd left for work. The next time she sees him is when she goes to the ER and he tells her she's pregnant. In interviews, Dunham hinted it all happened in Hannah's mind.
Worst: Laird
Hannah's first online assignment for JazzHate is to get out of her comfort zone and have an experience while on cocaine. Not a dabbler in substances, she approaches a guy in her building--the now-sober junkie Laird (Jon Glaser)--to score, and he's more than happy to help his secret crush.
After she has her high as a kite evening out dancing with Elijah, she ends up back home jumping Laird in their hallway, explaining it's a one-time thing and for business purposes. He's more than happy to oblige.
Best: Sandy
He's intelligent. Republican. And Black. Not only is he handsome, but he lends her his copy of The Fountainhead. They have sex, then the next time he asks her to spend the night. They have a playful relationship, running around the apartment half-naked.
Then she does the most intimate thing a writer can do: she asks him to read her work. When the erudite Sandy (Donald Glover) confesses he thinks she's not a very good writer, the breakup drums begin to beat. She decides his conservative views are a dealbreaker as well.
Worst: Holly
Given the men she's experienced, even the good ones, is it any wonder she went for a swim in the lady pond with a yoga instructor while attending an all-female empowerment retreat with her mother?
Holly (Lena Hall) senses Hannah's vulnerability and targets her by saying all the right things: "You do you," and "You're too luscious to be with the wrong guy," and Hannah can't help but be curious. But ultimately, she has to accept she's not a lesbian and can't go through with it, chalking Holly up to another bad romantic decision.