In the Harry Potter series, there are a few romantic relationships that developed gradually over time, as well as a few others that seemed to come out of nowhere. When Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks were revealed to be in a relationship, it was a bit surprising to both Harry and fans of the series.
Given that Harry is the one telling the story, it makes sense that he wouldn’t know much about that relationship. Because of the lack of development, there are some fans who think Tonk and Lupin are great together and others who think they are awful together.
Awful Together: There Is A Large Age Gap Between Them
When Tonks and Lupin meet, she is only about 22 years old. Lupin, on the other hand, is in his mid-30s. There is about 13 years between the two of them.
While it’s hard to say whether this is right or wrong, it’s mostly a little strange given that Tonks is still in her early 20s. It seems like they would be in very different phases of life.
Soulmates: Similar values
While their age gap might be a little weird, one thing that connects these two together is that they have very similar values and perspectives on life.
Despite growing up in slightly different generations, they both have committed their lives to fighting against Voldemort and his followers. This is one way in which they could definitely find the other appealing.
Awful Together: The Relationship Made Tonks Depressed
When fans were introduced to Tonks as a character, it was clear that she was rather outgoing, vivacious, and upbeat. She has a charismatic and likable personality, but all of her excitement for life seems to go away when her relationship with Lupin has issues.
Seeing her lose a lot of her light and happiness because of this relationship didn’t make it seem like the best thing for her. While all relationships have issues, it didn’t seem like a great start.
Soulmates: Lupin Was Aware Of How His Werewolf Status Would Impact Tonks
While Lupin keeping Tonks at arm’s length was clearly stressful for both of them, his reasons for doing so were noble.
Lupin truly understood just how prejudiced the wizarding world was against werewolves, and he knew this would follow them wherever they wanted. The fact that he wanted to spare Tonks from this pain does show that he cared about her.
Awful Together: Fans Never Really Saw Them Happy Together
While Tonks and Lupin could very well have been great together, it’s hard to know for sure if that's the case because there aren’t really any scenes where we see them happy.
The few times that Harry is around them or talks to them about their relationship, they seem to be having a lot of drama. Then, they are both killed tragically at such a young age.
Soulmates: They Were Both Misunderstood
While Tonks is quite charismatic and likable, she was also rather eccentric. She was clumsy and expressive, and she definitely marched to the beat of her own drum. Lupin, because of being a werewolf, was an outcast in wizarding society.
While they were very different people, they both didn’t quite fit in with everyone else for different reasons. This would make them a good match and allow them to balance one another out.
Awful Together: Tonks Seemed To Lose Her Identity
One of the strangest things about the relationship between Tonks and Lupin was how Tonks’ Patronus changed into a wolf because of her feelings for Lupin.
A relationship where someone’s core identity shifts so much for one person never bodes well.
Soulmates: Tonks Didn’t Care That Lupin Was A Werewolf
While Lupin might have cared a lot about how being a werewolf would impact Tonks, she, for her part, didn’t care.
She loved Lupin and knew that he was a good person. She wasn’t prejudiced, and she wasn’t going to let the bigotry of the wizarding world impact how she felt about him. This definitely shows that she loved him a lot.
Awful Together: Lupin Tries To abandon Tonks And Their Son To Help Harry
Probably the biggest reason why Tonks and Lupin don’t seem like soulmates is because of the time Lupin tries to leave Tonks and Teddy to help Harry.
He was being cowardly here, by abandoning them due to his own fears. This was a pretty awful thing to do, and it definitely made Lupin seem less admirable than before.
Soulmates: They Were Both Extremely Talented Magic Users
While there are some reasons why Tonks and Lupin don't make a lot of sense as a couple, they are at least very evenly matched when it comes to skill.
Arguably, Tonks is more experienced and has more official training in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Lupin is also a good wizard who has a lot of real-world experience fighting against Voldemort's followers.