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Happy Endings: Max's 10 Funniest Quotes

Happy Endings was one of the most underrated television comedies in recent years and an unjustly canceled show. The premise of a group of 30-something friends navigating work, relationships, and life in the big city might not sound original, but it was a real winner. The show's charm came largely from its hilarious and lovable characters. One of the standouts was Max Blum, played by Adam Pally.

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Max was the chubby and unkempt member of the group. He often struggled to maintain his dating life as a gay man while bouncing from fast-money schemes and being an enormous slob. With plenty of hilarious moments throughout the show, check out some of Max's funniest quotes from Happy Endings.

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10 Tough Crowd

"One time Penny brought home an astronaut and everyone was like, 'Ugh, space isn't even the final frontier anymore.'" Like most groups of television friends, the Happy Endings crew are not entirely welcoming to outsiders. Whenever a new potential love interest is brought, they rarely last long before being chewed up and spit out by the rest of the group. As Max tells it, this group is not easily impressed. It just goes to show that even though these people might seem like a charming bunch of friends when we watch them on television, they might not be all that nice in real life.

9 Motivational Speech

"Did Babe Ruth quit after his sex tape was criticized? No, he went right out and made another sex tape." It's always great to have that friend you can turn to when you're feeling down, and who can tell you just what you need to hear to move forward. While Max certainly isn't that type of friend, it's very nice that he tries to be.

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After Dave received some negative feedback on a sex tape he performed on, Max stepped up to get him out of his slump. Though the example he used is very relevant to Dave's own problem, he seems to have gotten a lot of the facts wrong. Either that, or Babe Ruth has a much richer backstory than we're aware of.

8 Unloved

"I guess no one will ever love me. Now I know how webisodes feel." Though ax tries to put on a brave face and a tough exterior, he is a sensitive soul. One of his biggest worries is being alone and he often gets down on himself when his dating life isn't going so well. In one of his darkest moments, he goes so far as to compare himself to the most pointless of television storytelling: the webisode.

All due respect to the talented and hard-working people who great webisodes, but Max is absolutely right. They are not easy to love and the general public generally ignores their existence. That's certainly some harsh criticism for Max to throw at himself.

7 Heart-To-Heart

"You're going to make me talk about feelings? Fine. Blah, blah, blah, you're a great girl. Blah, blah, blah, you're going to meet a great guy." Max might be sensitive about his own romantic life, but that sensitivity does not extend to others who are struggling with love. Again, his words of wisdom are not exactly revolutionary, or even helpful in any way. Max's charm is such that he can speak to his friends with such indifference about their issues and we find it funny. Not too many people could get away with that without looking like a total jerk. Luckily, Max is just a lovable jerk.

6 Real Problems

"Oh boo-hoo, you can't get a cab. I can't get married or into heaven." Max is very proud of the fact that he is gay. Sure, he hid it from his parents well and into his adult life, but he embraces his lifestyle in all aspects of his life. He also sometimes thinks it makes him better than everyone else.

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There really is no reason to debate whether a black man or a gay man has a harder time in modern society, but it is a debate Max is willing to jump into. Does he want to get married? No. Does he believe in heaven? Probably not. But he really enjoys throwing the injustices in everyone's face.

5 Difficult Transition

"I'm straight now. From this moment forward it's going to be a steady diet of boobs and dudes, dammit." At times, Max's slobbish nature can make him something of an outsider in the gay community, which makes dating life difficult for him. After a particularly disappointing night of looking for love, Max is ready to denounce his homosexuality. He finds that to be easier said than done. Despite his frustrations as a gay man, Max's subconscious doesn't seem to let him even lie to himself about who he is. He knows what he wants and that can be hard to shake.

4 Foodie

"My 40-piece chicken nuggets that I was saving for my birthday has just vanished." Max doesn't have much passion for work or an active lifestyle, but if there's one thing the show has proven, he is obsessed with food. His whole life seems to revolve around where his next meal will come from. Only, those meals that he enjoys so much are not of the highest quality. For someone to be eating a 40-piece chicken nugget meal by themselves is sad. Saving it for his birthday is extra sad. But the fact that it vanished is too sad to handle.

3 Sounds Familiar

"I am so glad I don't get invested in your boyfriends-of-the-week that I only hear about through dialogue." Happy Endings had made great use of meta-comedy throughout its short run. Being a pretty standard sitcom set-up the show stayed original by commenting on the expected tropes and poking fun at the cliches. In some cases, they would almost be winking right at the camera.

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Max's assessment of Penny's dating life is just one step below him saying, "Hey, this is a television show". Such moments could come off as cheesy but here it's a hilariously straight-forward way to address the usual sitcom scenario.

2 Miracle Technology

"Check out this machine! It's amazing! It sucks the garbage off the ground, so now I don't have to throw it out on the street through a hole in my pocket Andy Dufresne style." Max is not a clean person and show's no signs of trying to become one. But even he is impressed and mesmerized by how handy a vacuum can be for cleaning up—especially since this seems to be the first time he's heard of one. The fact that he is blown away by the vacuum is funny enough, but the hilarious Shawshank Redemption reference is the icing on the cake. Picturing Max walking around with pockets filled with his apartment's dirt and gradually emptying it is endlessly funny.

1 Deep Thinker

"If Mary Tyler Moore married and then divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Morre, then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler-Moore-Tyler-Moore-Moore-Moore?" What can be said about this quote rather than to just admire its brilliance? Max might not be the smartest person alive, but when he focuses on something, he can be very profound. Even the world's greatest philosophers wouldn't have been able to come up with this—we can say that with confidence.

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