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Halloween Ends is in theaters and streaming on Peacock, and, already, it is dividing fans (even if it is on track to financially outperform its predecessor: Halloween Kills). The film goes in some interesting directions, perhaps in ways that might prove unsatisfying for many. However, it's also a gutsy film (in more ways than one) that, no matter how out-of-left-field, doesn't feature the franchise's most surprising decisions.
Characters often make baffling choices in horror films, particularly in the slasher subgenre, and the Halloween series is far from immune. But with the evil adventures of Michael Myers, silly character decisions can sometimes be good for a laugh.
Tommy Doyle's Delay In Halloween Kills (2021)
Halloween Kill is a quotable installment of the franchise, but like director David Gordon Green's first go-round with the character, it has several front-and-center characters act in a manner that stretch credibility. Fortunately, there's nothing in Kills that's as baffling as Halloween's Dr. Sartain.
But Anthony Michael Hall's take on the original film's Tommy Doyle comes close. He's portrayed as this very organized, calculating individual until suddenly he isn't. He becomes the type of individual who stands over a seemingly immortal serial killer with only a baseball bat. The moment he learns about Michael's resurgence, it's with the news the man's killed about a dozen first responders. Then, when Michael starts slaughtering his cohorts, Doyle is taken aback, standing there as if he has no clue what to do.
Interviewing Michael Myers In Halloween (2018)
The research process is an interesting, but very intensive and time-consuming process. Studying someone like Michael Myers, even more so. It's also incredibly dangerous, even if he has chains around his ankles.
So why true crime podcasters Aaron Korey and Dana Haines think it's a good idea to get him riled up with his mask just before his prison transfer is questionable. The audience have never understood why they would tempt the devil himself when they know what he is capable of.
Everything Dr. Sartain Does In Halloween (2018)
Dr. Sartain is perhaps the most bafflingly written character of the Halloween franchise. Ridiculously ignorant characters have been written into the scripts before, but what's so jarring about Sartain is the fact that he's actually in a good movie. His utterly illogical motivations and methods stretch logic, and it's readily apparent that he's less of a necessary character so much as he is more of a plot device.
Halloween Kills has gotten more flack over the years since its release than the 2018 entry ever did, but Sartain is more glaring an issue than any of Kills' supposed flaws. He's positioned as a Loomis replacement to an extent (which itself would be ill-advised), yet what he really is, is a means to bring Michael and Laurie together. Not one thing Sartain does within his limited runtime in Halloween either makes logical sense or even reads as rational human behavior.
Busta Rhymes Taking On Michael With Kung-Fu In Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Taking on rapper Busta Rhymes (loosely playing a character) in a karate-infused break-dance fight is definitively one of Michael Myers' most memorable moments, but not in a good way. It's a moment fully indicative of the film's tone: silly. That would be bad enough, but the film simultaneously tries to be as legitimately frightening as the original or even Halloween H20. It's jarring, and that's never more apparent than when Busta Rhymes starts sending his foot in the air toward Myers' chin.
In that lies the glaring issue with Halloween: Resurrection, it has no idea what it is. It even makes more sense to call Busta Rhymes' character just that instead of media personality Freddie Harris, because there's no one who is playing a role. Everyone meanders around set and intermittently does something that stretches logic to the point of a snap (e.g. noted martial arts film fan Harris taking on Myers with karate moves instead of just busting out the back door).
Marion Chambers Entering Loomis' House In Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later opens with the original film's Nurse Marion Chambers returning home. But it's been burglarized - and thanks to her neighbor Jimmy's (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) absurd decision to enter the house, Chambers knows it's specifically her office that's been burglarized.
The instant look of electrified recognition that casts itself over Chambers' face is indication enough that she knows full well who the perpetrator is. This makes the fact that she too enters the house prior to the arrival of the police a worse decision than Jimmy's. If she's aware of the burglar's identity, she knows just as well that Myers has a tenacity to stay behind either to be thorough or just for kicks.
Jamie Lloyd Should Have Been Put In Witness Protection In Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers (1989)
Jamie Lloyd, daughter of Laurie Strode, is established as Michael's primary target in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers basically from the first frame he draws breath. His focus never changes throughout the film, and he kills innumerable people en route to his destination.
The sheer violence displayed in Halloween 4 begs the question of why, for the love of goodness, not one person in a position of authority would ensure her safety. She's put in a no-security hospital with one nurse and a clearly irresponsible doctor who's allowed unlimited visitation rights. CPS not stepping in for Lloyd is the strangest decision made by a Halloween character who's entirely off-screen.
Brady's Stand in Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988)
The reason Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers works as well as it does is because it makes Haddonfield feel even more lived in than arguably even Carpenter's original. It's a real town with real people, like flawed but overall decent guy Brady (Sasha Jenson, Dazed and Confused).
With that being said, Brady cheats on the lead character, Rachel, which is a cruel choice. And cruelty is always dumb. But then he one-ups himself and takes on Michael Myers with an unloaded shotgun. Once he learns its unloaded state, he just swings it at Michael, even though there's ample time to run with Jamie and Rachel, ostensibly even being able to help guide them to safety.
Killing Their Own Clientele In Halloween III: Season Of The Witch
Silver Shamrock Novelties has a profoundly terrible business model. But, really, in the end, it all comes down to CEO Conal Cochran (Robocop's Dan O'Herlihy, terrific in the role) and his being flat-out evil. For Halloween III: Season of the Witch, that's enough.
The plan is to infuse every mask with a microchip that, when activated by the company's infectious and constantly-televised jingle, makes the wearer's body erupt with writhing snakes and squirming insects. It's a morbid and genuinely disturbing imagery.
The Marshal Bending Over Michael Myers For A Long, Dangerous Look In Halloween II (1981)
Halloween II has aged extremely well, both within the confines of its own franchise and as a whole (even with the controversial revelation of Michael and Laurie's sibling connection). Though, like it or not, even that plot twist is iconic in its own right, as is the imagery of Laurie running down the hospital's hallways, Michael swinging a scalpel blindly, and Michael stumbling while covered in flames.
But it's not without its flaws, including moments where characters stretch logic even for the slasher subgenre. The main culprit is Marshal Terrence Gummell, who should be smart enough not to bend over a known serial killer up close for an elongated period of time.
Hey Jerk, Speed Kills In Halloween (1978)
Everything about Halloween works. It's a flawless film that's been defended by countless people in spite of no complaints leveled. It's a time capsule and a scary one at that. The reason it's so scary: It's a day in life. And for some, it's the final one.
Every slasher has people playing characters who go out in nasty ways. But Halloween feels like a camera is just following real people. The fact that they're so organic makes their demises horrifying, but it also makes silly lines like Annie's "Hey jerk, speed kills!" sound like lines spouted by a person to a real reckless driver. Unfortunately, that's a bad idea even in the real world.