There are few teams within Marvel and DC Comics universes that can rival the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Suicide Squad in terms of dysfunctionality. Both teams have been moved to the comics forefront in recent years partially thanks to their respective cinematic adaptations, so what would happen if they ever faced off against each other?
Both the Guardians and Suicide Squad have undergone a number of roster changes in their expansive comic book history. However, there are two definitive runs of the fan-favorite characters that serve as the basis for the most famous team lineups and their cinematic counterparts. Though the Guardians of the Galaxy originated in late 1969, it was Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning's landmark 2008 run on the title that gave fans a modern team consisting of key members Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Adam Warlock, Rocket Raccoon, Mantis, Groot, and the Phyla-Vell incarnation of Quasar. On the DC side, John Ostrander and Luke McDonnell's Suicide Squad became the first to introduce the roster of villains Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Enchantress, Mindboggler, Plastique, Bronze Tiger, and team medic Karin Grace, all under the supervision of Cadmus director Amanda Waller. It's these versions of the Guardians and the Suicide Squad that would morph into the teams fans know today.
Leading the Suicide Squad into battle is Colonel Rick Flag, a military-trained human in direct opposition to fellow half-human and former pilot Peter Quill, who left Earth for the stars at an early age. In terms of physical strength and tactical knowledge, Quill and Flag are seemingly on an equal playing field. That is until Quill's power-granting Element Gun is brought into the battle. Star-Lord's gun gives an edge against Flag and any combat training he has to offer.
The Ostrander and McDonnell run of Suicide Squad saw the team deal with mostly earthbound threats rather than gods, which are more the Justice League's territory. Aside from June Moone's Enchantress, the Suicide Squad is composed of humans with mildly enhanced abilities. With the Guardians of the Galaxy, it's the exact opposite, with Quill being the single human surrounded by aliens and otherworldly beings. These aliens are no slouches either, with each having earned dubious reputations throughout the galaxy. Gamora is the trained stepdaughter of Avengers foe Thanos, Adam Warlock is a perfect specimen who has gone toe to toe with Thanos on several occasions, and even their muscle Groot can regenerate himself as necessary.
While Marvel's Avengers and Fantastic Four are seen as the main frontline responsible for dealing with conflicts on Earth and outer space, the interstellar Guardians of the Galaxy are no strangers to defending the greater cosmos against extraterrestrial threats. These have included vicious planet eaters, interdimensional conquerors, and shape-shifting aliens. It's difficult for Flag and his team to prove a match against aliens who take down planetary threats for a living.
The Guardians of the Galaxy would win the fight handily. The Suicide Squad has expanded its roster to include the likes of formidable metahuman menaces King Shark, Cheetah, Killer Frost, and Black Manta in recent years, but they're still simply outclassed. If anything, the Suicide Squad would be much more of a worthy match for Marvel's Thunderbolts, another group of former supervillains who worked under the oversight/supervision of the U.S. government.