The hit Netflix show Squid Game has taken the world by storm, but if the Guardians of the Galaxy were forced to compete, who would win? The team has boasted some of the galaxy's finest throughout its comics history. However, viewers know that a contestant needs more than power to go home with 45 billion won... and their lives.
Squid Game follows fictional contestants through a series of six classic children's games, with a deadly twist. Failure in any of the six rounds immediately results in the player's death, meaning that all rounds must be passed sequentially to survive. Therefore, even if a player is well-suited for any particular task, there is no guarantee they will make it that far into the game. Upon entering the game's facility, all contestants are dressed in identical jumpsuits. This means that no Guardian can gain an advantage from weapons, armor, or magical items.
In these six deadly challenges, only one can win overall. The Guardians of the Galaxy would be a team well suited to this challenge, however, as the show demonstrates, there are no friends in Squid Game. Due to its slight antihero nature, and galaxy-wide source of members, the Guardians roster includes a variety of god-tier heroes. Even powerhouses like Groot, Adam Warlock, Doctor Doom, Captain Marvel, Cosmic Ghost Rider, Moondragon, and Drax will have to go all out to survive against such powerful competitors. Kid gloves are off, and it can be assumed that nobody can escape from competition in any round, and failure always results in death.
Grand Opening
The first two rounds are primarily tests of reflex, control, and patience. The first is the international classic, "Red Light Green Light." Players must race towards a finish line, abruptly stopping whenever the judge (a giant killer robot doll) yells, "Red light!" and turns to face the crowd. Any movement out of turn ends the game for the offending player. While some team members, like Drax the Destroyer, would struggle here, nobody is completely hopeless. However, the second round seals the fate of those who lack self-control.
In the second trial, each player is given a sewing needle and a little circle of brittle candy with a shape stamped in the middle. Players have ten minutes to break away the excess candy and reveal the shape in the middle. If the shape is broken, the player is immediately killed. Poor Groot would have no chance at this game. Drax would surely lose his temper after a few seconds. Hercules and Beta Ray Bill would likely struggle to keep calm. Some, such as a powered-down Cosmic Ghost Rider (aka Frank Castle), would have no particular advantage, but this task can be completed by children, so he would likely make it through.
The Strongest Guardian
Round three is a simple game of tug of war. Teams of ten are formed randomly, and they pull on either end of a rope until the opposing team is pulled into a pit. The Guardians roster boasts some of the strongest heroes and villains in the Marvel Universe, so shrimpier teammates would either die or get lucky enough to be on a team with Adam Warlock or Captain Marvel. Several powerful characters simply wouldn't be able to hold their ground against such strong individuals.
Star-Lord, Moondragon, Rocket, Gamora, and Mantis would be dead weight. Several of these characters have some serious psychic tricks up their sleeves that could give them an edge in a game of strength. However, several powerful opponents are completely immune to such attacks, including Adam Warlock and Cosmic Ghost Rider. While these physically weaker characters could hypothetically survive this round with a strong team, there's no guarantee.
War of the Psychics
The Guardians of the Galaxy happens to host several of the most powerful telepaths in the universe. Such abilities create a huge advantage in round four: the marble game. Here, each Guardian is assigned a partner and a bag of ten marbles. The only rule is that violence may not be used, and the goal is to take all of their companion's marbles. The duos may determine any sort of game and any set of rules to compete for the marbles. This is where telepathy comes in handy. Mind reading would make a contestant immune to deception. Mind control could be used to simply force an opponent to concede and hand over their marbles.
Psychics such as Doctor Doom, Moondragon, Mantis, and Adam Warlock would only have a serious challenge if faced with another psychic. Among all contestants, only Adam Warlock (who is immune to telepathy, and has resisted even Moondragon's attacks) would be guaranteed to pass this round. However, due to the unusual quantity of psychics on this team, it can be assumed that anyone lacking such abilities would not likely pass this round.
A Glass Bridge
Round five poses a unique challenge. All players are forced to walk across a bridge made up of glass panes. At each step, there are two panes to choose from, one of them brittle, and one of them tempered and able to support the weight of a person. In the show, one character was able to distinguish between the different panes due to slight differences in the glass. This means that characters with enhanced perception would be able to safely navigate the bridge. However, due to the lineup of psychics, this challenge becomes moot. World-class scientific and mystic genius Doctor Doom most definitely has the know-how to tell the panes apart. Since so many other contestants are mind readers, they would be equally privy to that information (given he's swapped his telepathy-blocking armor for a jumpsuit.)
The Squid Game
The final round is essentially a deathmatch. It pits two players against each other in the classic South Korean children's game known as Squid Game. There are some minor restrictions, but essentially, two players are placed in an arena. One Guardian plays offensively and must try to reach a circle marked at the end of the court. Their opponent plays on defense and must force them out of the ring before they make it to the end. Any form of violence is allowed and encouraged, making the actual game a backup plan to simply killing their opponent.
Although there are a lot of powerhouses on the Guardian's comic roster, none could pose a real threat to Adam Warlock. Immune to any form of telepathic attack, a master in sorcery, powerful to a god-like extent over the very laws of the universe, Adam is unbeatable under these circumstances. Perhaps with technology, or magical items, or time to prepare, someone like Doom could make himself a match for Warlock. However, in a one vs one deathmatch, there's really no chance.
The Supreme Guardian
While some great cases could be made for other Squid Game Guardian winners, there are few beings in the Marvel Universe who could stand up to Adam Warlock. On one occasion, in Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2 by Jim Starlin, Joe Rubinstein, Petra Goldberg, and Annette Kawecki, the hero turned Thanos into solid granite. His permanent connection to the Soul Stone and his cosmic abilities make him nearly unbeatable, and his commitment to safeguarding the cosmos also means he'd be one of the most ruthless players, often seeing himself as beyond human morality. His perfect engineering exposes no weaknesses to the Squid Game. In the end, while any Guardians of the Galaxy member could score some surprising victories in Squid Game, no-one is getting past Adam.