Although Grease 2 was initially a critical and commercial disaster, in the years since its release in 1982, the musical sequel has gained a cult following for its catchy songs, so it's worth ranking them all from worst to best. The original Grease was a massive hit when it came out in 1978, quickly becoming the highest-grossing musical film of all time (and kept that record until 2012's Les Misérables was released). Alongside 1977's Saturday Night Fever, it also helped to launch the career of one of its lead actors: John Travolta.
With how successful the film adaptation of Grease was, it was inevitable that a sequel was going to be produced. However, the production of Grease 2 began to run into issues when it became clear that neither the majority of the cast (John Travolta's Danny and Olivia Newton-John's Sandy in particular) nor the composers (Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey) of Grease were going to return for the sequel. Grease 2 attempted to get around these problems by casting then-unknowns in the leads; star Michelle Pfeiffer would not have her break-out role until the following year in 1983's Scarface.
Grease 2 did not launch Pfeiffer's career like the first did Travolta's as, despite it nearly having double the budget, the sequel grossed only a fraction of what Grease made at the box office: $15.2 million, compared to the original's $366.2 million. This enormous commercial failure destroyed any plans at Paramount Pictures to further develop the Grease film franchise, alongside the hatred Grease 2 received from critics. Despite its initial failure, Grease 2 has found somewhat of an audience, The Amazing Spider-Man's Andrew Garfield included, for its catchy songs and dance sequences. Here are all of Grease 2's 13 songs ranked from worst to best.
"Brad"
Even most of Grease 2's characters think "Brad" stinks. "Brad" is a short joke song performed by the Sorority Twins as part of their tryout for Rydell High's talent show. The main gag of the song is that these two twins are overwhelmingly infatuated with Brad, who is clearly a complete loser. Unfortunately, the joke is pretty basic and "Brad" quickly outstays its welcome.
"Charades"
"Charades" is the only song sung solo by Grease 2's male lead, and cousin of Olivia Newton-John's Sandy, Michael (Maxwell Caulfield). Unfortunately, it is little more than a boring ballad performed with almost no energy or gusto. One of Grease 2's main strengths is its choreography and "Charades" takes little advantage of that with most of the song being performed either while Michael is sitting down or simply walking the halls of Rydell High.
"(Love Will) Turn Back The Hands Of Time"
"(Love Will) Turn Back The Hands Of Time" further proves that Maxwell Caulfield is no John Travolta. His lackluster performance in this song, opposite Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer), only emphasizes his comparatively limited ability as a singer. However, "(Love Will) Turn Back The Hands Of Time" is saved from the very bottom of the list by its incredibly cheesy backing guitars and some truly extraordinary set design. Michael sings to Stephanie from a monochrome mountain of maimed motorcycles, silhouetted by an obvious fog machine in the background.
"We'll Be Together"
"We'll Be Together" invokes a classic Grease song, but in name only. Although "We'll Be Together" ends Grease 2, like how "We Go Together" is the musical finale of Grease, instead of being an upbeat singalong it's yet another painfully slow 80s ballad. "We'll Be Together" ends Grease 2 on an oddly dull note, which is somewhat fitting for a sequel that is significantly worse than the original.
"Do It For Our Country"
Although "Do It For Our Country" is a significant step-up in terms of energy than some of the flatter ballads in Grease 2, it also suffers for being incredibly creepy. "Do It For Our Country" is sung by T-Bird DiMucci (Peter Frechette) in an attempt to pressure Pink Lady Sharon (Maureen Teefy) into having sex with him in a bomb shelter. The song is accompanied by the other T-Birds, including an early performance by Secret Invasion's Christopher McDonald, playing an air raid siren to persuade Sharon that she should sleep with DiMucci because there's a nuclear war occurring outside. It's an uncomfortable song that adds nothing but sleaze to Grease 2.
"Rock-A-Hula Luau"
This climatic party song, involving the entire cast, pales in comparison to Grease's "You're The One That I Want", which is perhaps to be expected. The set design for the sequence, filled with tiki torches and string lights, is impressive and the appropriation of Hawaiian culture in "Rock-A-Hula Luau" feels very accurate for Grease 2's setting in the 1960s. It's the noticeably 80s production of the song that knocks it back slightly.
"Girl For All Seasons"
The song "Girl For All Seasons" is a middling love ballad that is supported by some truly incredible "en pointe" choreography and some of the most extravagant costumes this side of Baz Luhrmann's Elvis. However, the point of the song in the film itself is actually to be an overly long and dull song, supported by the fact that rehearsals for it are constantly interrupted by impatient teachers, and Stephanie actually zones out in the final performance to sing "(Love Will) Turn Back The Hands Of Time" in her dreams.
"Back To School Again"
"Back To School Again" sets the tone for Grease 2 with an upbeat and catchy song with some bizarrely entertaining choreography. The shot where Stephanie leads the Pink Ladies to school with a slow shimmy is ridiculously funny. While most of the song is performed well by the band The Four Tops, the Pink Ladies verse, sung in-universe by the characters, is disappointingly dubbed and awkwardly rhymes the word "cool" with itself three times. However, "Back To School Again" finishes in style with a fun saxophone solo, even if the reintroduction of Frenchy during the song is bizarre.
"Reproduction"
"Reproduction" is not a song full of double entendre, it settles for a single one instead: all the allusions to sex are incredibly out in the open. "Reproduction", like the incredibly enthusiastic teenage characters singing it, only has an interest in the act of reproduction rather than its consequences, which makes it a silly but fun time. The only downside is that the main characters, while physically present in the scene, do not perform the song in any way, which makes them really stick out.
"Who's That Guy"
"Who's That Guy" serves as the introduction of Michael's motorcyclist alter-ego. It begins with a genuinely fantastic bass line that pairs perfectly alongside footage of a mysterious motorbike rider. The motorbike motif introduced in "Who's That Guy" follows that of the car motif in Grease and features throughout Grease 2, though it doesn't copy Grease's flying car ending. Although the song is about Michael, "Who's That Guy" makes the smart choice to not have a majority of the song performed solely by Maxwell Caulfield, instead the song consists of the various groups in Grease 2 pontificating on Michael's identity as the rider.
"Prowlin'"
Adrian Zmed, the actor who plays Johnny Nogerelli, the leader of the T-Birds, is clearly the best singer in the Grease 2 cast, and "Prowlin'" really gives him the opportunity to show off both his vocal range and energetic performance skills. "Prowlin'" is not only incredibly catchy but also hilarious to watch. The T-Bird backup dancers are almost as fun to watch as Zmed, who almost gives John Travolta's Danny a run for his money. This is not too surprising, however, as Zmed was cast as Johnny due to his performance as Danny Zuko in both the touring stage and Broadway productions of Grease.
"Cool Rider"
Michelle Pfeiffer may not be as naturally gifted a singer as Adrian Zmed, but she gives a stand-out performance explaining what she's looking for in a lover in "Cool Rider". It's arguably the campiest song in the entire film (an impressive award) with its faux-rock sensibilities and the cheesiest guitar stings since Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. However, what places "Cool Rider" above almost every song in Grease 2 is the song's ending, where Michelle Pfeiffer dad dances off into the distance, still singing about how much she wants a cool rider.
"Score Tonight"
"Score Tonight" is an over-the-top, double entendre stuffed song that's the most fun in the entire musical, and one of the few songs in Grease 2 worthy of the original Grease. Set in a bowling alley, "Score Tonight" is ostensibly about the teens getting a high score in bowling, yet is replete with not-so-subtle wordplay. It's brash, but subtlety is not a concept that exists in the world of Grease 2. "Score Tonight" encapsulates everything that's good about the sequel with fun, if obvious, wordplay and some truly impressive, acrobatic choreography. A bowling alley is a unique setting for a song in a musical and "Score Tonight" makes full use of it a fun bowling scene that rivals The Big Lebowski.