Content Warning: This article contains references to violence, theft, and drug use.
The Grand Theft Auto series is arguably the most controversial in the medium's history, with most of the controversy stemming around the ability to play as a career criminal. And despite this, it made the protagonists charismatic and enjoyable.
Tommy Vercetti is easily one of the series' most popular characters, owing in large part to Ray Liotta's performance, his take-no-prisoners attitude, and his hilarious personality. While Tommy would come off as quite obnoxious and rude in the real world, his one-liners and catchphrases are perfect for the GTA world.
"Dumb. Florida. Moron."
It's no secret that Tommy Vercetti hates the south. He hails from the east coast, and he's sent to Florida on the behest of Sonny Forelli, who hopes to establish a drug empire in the southern states.
Tommy hates the people of Vice City, and this is evident through his hilarious and iconic quote, "Dumb. Florida. Moron." He can be seen uttering this after a citizen runs over another and flees the scene.
"I Like This Shirt."
Tommy Vercetti's Hawaiian shirt is legendary, and it's part of what made the character such an icon. When it comes to classic and instantly recognizable Grand Theft Auto images, few beat Tommy's blue Hawaiian shirt. And he knows it's amazing.
After being told by Rosenberg to buy a suit for the Colonel's yacht party, an incensed Tommy screams to himself, "Who does this guy think he is? Now I gotta dress like a chump as well as hang out with him!? I like this shirt."
"You Can Blame My Mother. I Do."
It seems as if Tommy Vercetti does not have a good relationship with his mother. Nothing is certain, but it's inferred that a lack of maternal love and care led to Tommy down the path he is in now. This is evident through the hilarious quote, "You can blame my mother. I do."
Tommy utters the line after committing a random crime, and it goes a long way in establishing his character. This is a great example of how to blend humor with character-building.
"You're Going To Find Out Who Took Our Cocaine. And Then I'm Going To Kill Them."
It doesn't take long for the plot of Vice City to kick into action. A drug deal is interrupted, and Tommy is left hunting down the drugs and money. He waltzes into Rosenberg's office, and when the nervous lawyer asks Tommy what they're going to do, he states rather bluntly, "You're going to find out who took our cocaine. And then I'm going to kill them."
The bluntness of the answer is hilarious, as is the casual way in which Tommy utters it - complete with putting his feet on Ken's desk.
"Lance Vance. Poor B***ard."
Lance's name is made a recurring joke throughout much of Vice City. It's initially brought up while Tommy and Lance are riding together in a helicopter, with Lance telling Tommy that his rhyming name led to bullying in school. Tommy isn't exactly sympathetic, calling Lance a "poor b***ard" for having the unfortunate name.
This quote is made even more meaningful come the end of the game, as Tommy mocks Lance's name after Lance betrays him to Sonny.
"Fly Shooting Popular In The Army? Glad I Don't Pay Tax."
While meeting Phil Cassidy, Phil does the typical macho guy boasting thing by claiming, "Son, I could shoot a fly off your head at a hundred feet. I learnt it in the army." Tommy ignores the boast and goes directly to the army comment, sarcastically stating, "Fly shooting popular in the army? Glad I don't pay tax."
It wonderfully encapsulates Tommy's sardonic character, using mockery and sarcasm to upset those around him.
"What Did I Tell You Before? No Giant Sharks!"
Steve Scott is one of the most memorable side characters in Vice City thanks in large part to the vocal performance from Dennis Hopper. Scott is an adult film director, and his latest venture seems to be some type of adult-themed Jaws spoof. He acquires a giant mechanical shark, much to the hilarious chagrin of Tommy.
There's just something hilarious about Tommy's mounting frustration regarding a giant mechanical shark that is to be used for an adult movie.
"Just Think Of This As Socialism In Action."
Once again, Tommy proves his biting sarcasm with this hilarious quote. Typically uttered when Tommy is stealing a car, "Just think of this as socialism in action" is one of his funniest and smartest quotes.
It perfectly conveys Tommy's derisive sense of humor, using socialism as an excuse for carjacking and stealing someone's else property. He sees it as socialism. The victim probably sees it as straight up theft.
"Maybe The Last Thing I Needed Was An Enema, But This Comes Close."
Part of what makes Tommy Vercetti such an endlessly compelling character is his sense of humor. Another thing is his utter cynicism, hating everything and everyone within Vice City. Tommy hates his life, he hates the city and the south, and he hates working for people he feels beneath him.
The result is another hilarious bit of negativity in which Tommy claims, "Maybe the last thing I needed was an enema, but this comes close."