Who doesn't want to be Frankie Bergstein in their twilight years? She has the coolest hippie wardrobe ever, lives in a sweet beach house, and is shameless about her love of tacos. In Netflix's Grace and Frankie, most of the characters find themselves sinking into the pitfalls of adulting, but Frankie always keeps a sunny outlook on life—often with the help of a doobie. Frankie may be in her seventies, but she's a kid at heart.
And that can be a problem. While Frankie could teach everyone a thing or two about not taking life too seriously, she has been known to be an absolute brat when things don't go her way. This can make sophisticated Grace's life hell, as Frankie's best friend and room-mate. But even through the spats, tiffs, and squabbles, Frankie has proven herself to be the most valuable person in Grace's life.
Wasn't: Dragged Grace to an ashram
Frankie considers Grace her best friend, and best friends are supposed to do everything together. But then we turn thirteen and realize it's okay to have separate interests from our BFF. Look, Frankie isn't wrong about Grace; she could use some zen in her life. But the key to change is baby steps. A yoga class here and there, or a five-minute meditation from the swoony British man's voice on Headspace. Luring Grace to a boozeless ashram with an enforced caftan uniform is going a little overboard.
What makes this a bad friend move is that Frankie turns it into a lie. She completely misleads Grace into thinking they're going to a luxury spa. While Frankie may convince herself that she's just trying to help Grace get her mind off her man troubles, this is a total selfish move. Frankie definitely owes Grace a hot stone massage.
Was: Took Grace to Del Taco after her breakup
Frankie can be clingier than Spandex yoga pants, but when you're having a properly terrible day, it's nice to have a friend who's always around. Both Grace and Frankie are down in the dumps when they learn their kids sold their beach house out from under them. To make matters worse for Grace, she thought her ex Nick was the mystery buyer. When she and Frankie show up at his penthouse, Grace is humiliated when she runs into Nick's barely legal date. It's hard for Grace to believe it's really over even though, by Frankie's estimation, she broke up with Nick about fourteen times.
Frankie is sweet and considerate in bringing Grace to her happy place, even if it's a band-aid solution. Sure, it's great when a best friend is a Buddha-Oprah hybrid who can dispense sage advice and positive affirmations when you're going through a rough time. But sometimes all a girl needs is a burrito.
Wasn't: Drowned Grace out by literally plugging her ears and singing
There is no greater mark of our maturity than our response to being wronged. When someone does Frankie dirty, her tantrums are so over the top that toddlers would find her unseemly. Case in point: the gun.
After a break-in at the beach house, it is revealed that Grace keeps a gun. Pacifist Frankie is infuriated. She has a right to be. This isn't keeping pepper spray in your purse; it's a big deal, and, as Frankie's roommate, Grace should have told her she had it. However, when Grace tries to explain herself, Frankie's response is to plug her ears, hop around in a circle, and belt out "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain". Childish much? Even though Grace is in the wrong, she has a sympathetic explanation. Frankie finally agrees to hear it, out of nosiness. She would do well to channel her peace advocacy into her friendships.
Was: Showed Grace tough love
As Albus Dumbledore once said, "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." This is truly where Frankie shines. Grace is distraught over losing Phil, the love of her life, and goes on a bender that gets the audience second-hand drunk just watching her. Under the influence, Grace spews a torrent of hateful comments at Frankie, blaming her for the breakup.
Rather than meeting fire with fire, Frankie handles herself with utmost class. Okay, she does pour out all of Grace's alcohol and leaves her a note with a hand-sketched middle finger—though she did sign it, "Love, Frankie." But other than that, Frankie just keeps her distance. When Grace apologizes, Frankie calmly points out that not only was Grace out of line, she was dead wrong. Frankie was the one who advised Grace to stay away from Phil. Sometimes it behooves us to listen to our bestie. Even if said bestie leaves her hats in the dishwasher.
Wasn't: Made a bloody scene at a business meeting
Standing by your principles is all well and admirable...except when the cost is spitting in the face of someone who did you a favor. Frankie may have a lot of kooky art projects, but she has a stroke of sensual genius when she makes yam-based lube. Brianna agrees to sell the lube at Say Grace, and it looks like a happy ending for both business partners and their customers. However, things hit a snag when Say Grace adds palm oil to the lube, upsetting Frankie the environmentalist.
Frankie could have responded to Palm Oil-Gate in a number of ways. Perhaps she could have actually read the informational packet Brianna provided. Instead, she goes full-on Carrie and rubs orangutan blood all over herself in a meeting with potential buyers. Not only is Frankie being a selfish ingrate, she's actually messing with people's jobs. Frankie may care about the rainforest, but not so much about creating toxic relationships.
Was: Supported Babe's dying wish... from the start
Bloody theater or not, Frankie has some annoying tendencies, but being the world's most supportive friend isn't one of them. Grace and Frankie's mutual friend Babe confides in Frankie that she's terminally ill and is going to end her own life after throwing one last epic party. While Frankie is crestfallen, she respects Babe's decision.
Note that Babe tells Frankie before she tells Grace. Babe is an insightful woman, and she expects Grace to react the way she does, with dismay and judgment. That's not what a dying friend needs. What Babe needs is someone like Frankie, someone to smile and laugh with to the very end.
Wasn't: Everything she did on Bud's wedding day
When Grace dismisses Frankie one too many times, Frankie is royally cheesed. That's fine. Cheese away. But maybe put in a pin in the cheese on your son's wedding day. Instead, Frankie turns the whole affair into a one-woman revenge mission against Grace. For instance, Frankie sits Grace at the kids' table. This is a slap in the face to any adult, but forcing Grace Hanson to break bread with her own grandchildren is especially cruel.
Frankie follows that up by accusing Grace of "running away" on vacation with Nick. In reality, Grace has been keeping Nick at arm's length because she spends so much time cleaning up after Frankie's messes. This was an especially low blow on Frankie's part. To top it all off, Peter scolds Frankie for not enjoying her son's wedding day. Peter. As in the self-centered community theater director who turned Robert and Sol's place into his own personal Airbnb. For a hippie, Frankie sure enjoys fighting the War on Grace.
Wasn't: Almost destroyed Vybrant... with donuts
The real reason Grace took off on vacation with Nick? Frankie almost destroyed their company. Grace and Frankie formed Vybrant together to provide arthritis-friendly vibrators to older women. From the start, Grace does the lion's share of the work. And by lion's share that means all the work. Frankie's sole contribution is tossing out the occasional ludicrous suggestion.
While Frankie may not possess an ounce of business sense, she's got sensitivity to spare. She grows sick of Grace ruining her fun—because work is always supposed to be fun, right? So, the logical solution to not being taken seriously at work? Get high out of your gourd and take to Twitter. While doped out of her mind, Frankie tweets a promise of a free vibrator and donut to anyone who retweets...which ends up being over fifty-thousand people. Only Frankie Bergstein could ruin a company and a friendship with donuts.
Was: Saved Vybrant
Before the donut snafu, there was one good thing Frankie did for the company. In the chaos of getting both the beach house and her boyfriend back, Grace accidentally let Vybrant's website expire. To make matters worse, someone bought the domain name out from under them. The culprit? Howard, a crotchety resident of their former retirement home, Walden Villas. Initially Grace plans to do all the talking, but she's so abrasive that negotiations go nowhere. Frankie recognizes the need for a lighter touch. Once alone with Howard, Frankie deduces he's just a lonely guy looking for attention. She gives him a made-up role in their company and the day is saved, all thanks to Frankie's sympathetic ear.
It's also worth noting that Frankie is able to pull herself out of the donut hole she dug. With Grace away, Frankie is forced to find a real solution, and she does. She plans a slow roll-out for the free vibrators and donuts, all based on need of the individual customer. That way, Vybrant honors their promise but doesn't go bankrupt in the process. Frankie proves that when focused, she's a force to be reckoned with, and also an awesome friend.
Was: Taught Grace how to take lemons and make...cigarettes
Before Grace and Frankie became best friends, they were bitter enemies. They had absolutely nothing in common...until their husbands left them for each other. Even though the women still despised each other, they were able to find common ground in their unique situation. And the need for cigarettes.
Unfortunately, their quest is immediately hindered when the store employees blatantly ignore them in favor of serving young, pretty female customers. Grace is normally one to keep her composure, but after the brutal humiliation of her marriage collapsing and being ignored by a cashier, she has a meltdown in the store. Shockingly, it's Frankie who keeps her cool. The women leave the store empty-handed...or so Grace thinks. Frankie reveals she stole the cigarettes. As she says, they can't see her, they can't stop her. This may not be the first friendship forged over a cigarette, but it's one of the best.