If it wasn't for Beverly Goldberg, the family sitcom The Goldbergs would be missing something truly special. Played by Wendi McLendon-Covey, the wife and mother is hilarious, whether she's cooking a retro meal that sounds a bit gross or getting crazy emotional about her kids (again).
The sitcom is about to start its seventh season, and while it might not get talked about as much as other comedies featuring a funny (and sometimes nuts) family, there are so many funny lines in each episode that it needs a lot of attention. Beverly, in particular, keeps fans laughing. Here are 10 of Beverly's most hilarious quotes from The Goldbergs.
10 "I made these people. Me. I made them with my body."
Anyone would be super embarrassed if their mom got t-shirts made with their faces on them... and that's exactly what Beverly does. In true Beverly fashion, she doesn't get that's a problem. She thinks this is a good, normal thing to do.
And in true Beverly fashion, she tells someone, "I made these people. Me. I made them with my body." She is so proud of being mom to Barry (Troy Gentile), Erica (Hayley Orrantia), and Adam (Sean Giambrone) that we can't help but smile whenever she says something like this.
9 "I know I'm your Mother but I think I can say this without bias. Uh you are an Adonis from marble sent from Heaven to be scrumptious."
Some might say that this is a completely over-the-top quote... and yes, it is. But that's what makes it so wonderful.
Every parent loves their children. But it's fair to say that most don't love their children on the same level as Beverly Goldberg, whose motherly affection truly goes above and beyond the norm. To her, her children are perfection and she's going to make sure that everyone around her knows it. The fact that she truly believes she's not biased at all? That's just the best part of it.
8 "Never change, you beautiful, miserable man!"
Murray Goldberg (Jeff Garlin) does two things when he gets home: takes off his pants and watches television. When he says "I'm home. Nobody bother me. TV's mine," Beverly responds with this hilarious quote.
Murray and Beverly have such a wonderful relationship since they truly let the other person be who they are. Beverly knows that Murray likes to hang out in his underwear and chill and she doesn't wish to change him. And, similarly, Murray knows that Beverly is overemotional about their family and he loves her and is thankful for all that she does. They're goals right there.
7 "There's nothing funny about losing a child. To college."
For Beverly Goldberg, the fact that her children are growing up, moving away, and going to school is the most depressing thing ever. When she says this quote, she means it more than anything she has ever said, which is what makes it so hilarious.
If it was up to this mom, her kids would stay at home forever so she could always love them, snuggle them, and keep an eye on them. Of course, that's not realistic, but it's really tough for her to try letting them go.
6 "It's something I've been workshopping, and I think it's ready to go. Guard your belly button."
Beverly's children are used to her hugs and kisses... but they're not used to her "plubbies" which is what she's referencing in this quote.
If there was ever a contest for The Funniest Mom On Television, Beverly would win in an instant with this quote alone. Where does she even come up with this stuff?!
5 "What is wrong with you? Why aren't you worried? He's out there. He could be injured or cold or hungry. What if he has to make? He doesn't use public bathrooms!"
In what is probably one of the funniest episodes of all of The Goldbergs, Barry and Beverly prove to their kids that they are super paranoid and worried about every time that they step foot outside the front door. In the season one episode "Call Me When You Get There," the kids freak out about not being able to find a phone when they go to a party.
Beverly slowly but surely starts getting concerned about her children, and this is one of her funniest quotes. Another great line from the episode: Barry says, "Why do I have to call you when I get there? I'm there. I know I'm there" and Beverly says, "But I don't know. For all I know, you could be stranded in the middle of nowhere, lying face down in a ditch."
4 "I'll put cheese on anything."
Beverly Goldberg is often cooking up a storm, and she's famous for one dish: her Shrimp Parm. When Mrs. Kim tells Beverly, "You can't put cheese on seafood! It breaks every culinary law!" Beverly responds with this funny quote. She then explains that she put cheese on watermelon.
Who can't relate to this? Sure, maybe not the whole putting cheese on watermelon thing... but adding cheese to any dish sounds like a good idea. (Well, unless we have a dairy allergy. Then it's not so great.)
3 "I will not move! I will NEVER move! You're my special boy!"
When Barry is wrestling, Beverly says what is definitely one of her most hilarious quotes. It's even funnier because she has no self-awareness and no clue that what she's saying is completely humiliating.
Whenever Beverly shows up at the kids' school or is around their friends or significant others, one thing is clear: she's going to say something embarrassing. But she says it with such confidence and love that we just have to laugh.
2 "I want huggies"
Beverly Goldberg is famous for her love of hugs and cuddles and affection. She can't go a few minutes without showing her kids how much she loves them. This is one of her most hilarious quotes, and then she tells her kids, "And nubbies. Lots and lots of nubbies." Erica has the best response ever: "I don't know what those are and I'm too scared to ask, but sure."
Even though Barry, Erica, and Adam aren't always thrilled that their mom is so affectionate toward them, fans know that they do love their mom. These sweet family moments are what make The Goldbergs such a good, solid comedy.
1 "They're always there. Lying in wait. Because I feel... so deeply."
When Murray is amazed that Beverly can basically cry on demand, this is her hilarious response. It's one of her best quotes from the show because it really does sum up her personality.
While some people might pretend to cry to get out of parking tickets or a similarly sticky situation, Beverly doesn't have to pretend at all. She really does have a lot of emotions and she just needs to get them out. And that's exactly why we love her so much.