Lane Kim and Rory Gilmore are introduced as best friends - and throughout Gilmore Girls, they are there for each other. They've been friends since kindergarten, and Rory is always there to help her with her schemes to live the punk life without her mom knowing it. They have sleepovers, they talk about boys (with Rory having a little more to talk about there), and they are still best friends by the revival.
However, are Lane and Rory really great friends? Despite the fact that these two are portrayed as close friends, there are plenty of times that they don't actually treat each other the way that true friends should.
Lane Lies To Her About Being A Cheerleader
After Rory left to go to Chilton, Lane was stuck behind, and definitely got lonely - and as a way to deal with that, she decided to become a cheerleader. It was only really a plot point for a single episode, before being seemingly dropped, but in that episode Lane not only revealed that she was so lonely after Rory left that she joined, but that she was afraid of telling Rory about it. A real friend wouldn't have to be so worried about being judged that she would refuse to let her friend know such a big part of her life.
Rory Is Dismissive Of Henry
Lane's first 'boyfriend' was Henry, a Korean boy that she met at a Chilton party with Rory. The two got on wonderfully, but Lane was still worried about her mother finding out, so they had to keep it a secret and come up with wild schemes for the two to talk. Rory was happy to go along with these most of the time (like setting up three way calling for them to talk on the phone), but when Lane referred to her 'boyfriend' after things had ended, Rory replied 'who?'. A real friend wouldn't be so dismissive of their best friend's first love.
Rory Can Be Judgemental
One of the biggest criticisms that fans have of Rory is that she can actually be a bit superior and judgemental - and wow, does she do this to Lane, too. It's fairly routine for her to be casually dismissive of Lane, and while it's never really so bad that it stands out, it's still there. While she can be encouraging, too, it often comes across as patronizing, and it's clear that Rory thinks she is the 'better' one of the two.
Lane's Mom Doesn't Like Her
It's clear that Mrs Kim accepts the fact that Rory is her daughter's friend, but doesn't actually like her that much. Their parents don't really get along, and especially in the early seasons, Mrs Kim can be very judgemental of Lorelai and her life.
And while Rory is expected to come over, and is invited to all the Kim events and gatherings, her mother never seems truly warm to her - and often seems to be blaming her for when Lane does things she doesn't like. And while it's not that important that a parent approves, it certainly says something that after most of their lives Mrs Kim still doesn't really approve of Rory.
Rory Backs Off Once She Goes To Chilton
Obviously, there was always going to be a little bit of distance when Lane and Rory were no longer in the same school, but it really does seem like when Rory gets busy with Chilton and then Yale, Lane is the first to go. This could just be seen as the two girls growing up and having a little less time to spend together, but it could also be that when it's no longer convenient to be close friends, these two just don't care enough to really make that effort.
Rory Ignores Her When She Gets A Boyfriend
Similar to the above entry, when Rory gets a boyfriend (Dean), she essentially ditches Lane completely. Lane even comments on the fact that they barely get any time together, and that when they do, Rory is distracted and seems uninterested in Lane. Admittedly, it's not uncommon for people to ignore friends when they are teenagers experiencing their first big love, but it's still not great behavior. A true friend would make the time to actually spend with Lane, as well as with a boyfriend.
Lane Tried To Move In With Her At Yale
When Mrs Kim finally found out about the extent of her daughter's secret life (and band), she kicked her daughter out... and instead of going somewhere that would make sense (like staying with Lorelai for a little while), Lane essentially tried to move into Rory's dorm room at Yale. For some, this might be seen as evidence of how close their friendship is, but in reality, it's a really selfish move.
For one thing, this is wildly against the rules, and puts Rory in a difficult position with her roommates and her school, not to mention being a huge distraction for her studies. Lane's behavior here was a reaction to a tough situation, but it was extreme and selfish, not the actions of a good friend.
They Don't Seem To Like Each Other's Partners
Lane did like Dean, and Rory did like Dave... but beyond that, it's rare for either to really like the other's significant other. It's clear that both are willing to make a bit of an effort, but there's something telling about the fact that they seem to consistently have issues with each other's boyfriends. It's not a requirement for a friendship, of course, but it's definitely worth noting.
Lane Often Seems To Use Rory
Rory doesn't seem to mind, but it's clear that Lane is often using Rory as a way to live her secret life - and it's difficult not to wonder if they would have been friends had Mrs. Kim been a little more lenient with her daughter. Lane uses Rory for her garage/practice space, as an alibi to her mother, as a mule to go buy CDs and makeup, and as someone to store things that she can't have at home. It's understandable, given how strict Mrs. Kim is, but it still feels like Rory is being used, rather than being a real friend.
It Feels Like Friendship For Old Times' Sake
At the end of the day, it often feels like these two have just grown apart, and that by the time they are in their late teens and early twenties, they are 'best friends' because they always have been. They may have shared a lot in kindergarten, but their lives seem wildly different by the time of the series, and just move further and further apart as time goes on. They may still talk, and care about each other (of course), but that's not necessarily the same as being real friends.