Luke and Lorelai’s relationship was one of the best to watch in Gilmore Girls. The two started as friends and became close enough where they were each other’s go-to in both good and bad times. After years of being close, Luke finally made a move on Lorelai romantically and it worked... kind of. 

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As great as Lorelai and Luke were, there were a lot of issues (and people) standing in their way. And while they eventually did get married in the final episode of the reboot, A Year in the Life, it took them far longer than expected to tie the knot. 

They've Broken Up Twice

Lorelai and luke cross the street - gilmore girls

Luke and Lorelai had known each other for at least a decade before they started dating. And while they thought they were perfect together, their differing personalities showed that that wasn’t the case. They broke up twice, which is enough to make any person question if it’s the right choice to get married. If they broke up two times in their relationship, who’s to say they wouldn’t break up again? If they were married, divorce is far more serious than a breakup, which could be why they held off for so long.

The Timing Of The Wedding Never Ironed Out

Lorelai Gilmore in her wedding dress in Gilmore Girls

When Luke and Lorelai got engaged, they were both on cloud nine. Luke saw a future with Lorelai that included a new home and babies, while Lorelai saw a happy ending with a man she actually saw herself marrying. But when April came into the picture, Luke wasn’t ready to go through with the wedding until things were smoother.

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At that point, Lorelai found the perfect wedding date, dress, and flowers. But she didn’t have the heart to cancel things. She didn’t want to believe that her dream wedding wouldn’t happen. And sadly, it’s that kind of miscommunication that didn’t help their relationship. 

Pressure After The Engagement (And The Engagement Ring)

Luke and Kirk browsing engagement rings together on Gilmore Girls

Lorelai pushed tradition to the side and proposed to Luke. She and Luke never talked about marriage with each other before but he accepted her proposal because he genuinely loved her. Since she proposed, there was no ring. Luckily for Luke, Kirk had a case full of rings for him to choose from but his plan backfired when Kirk asked for the ring back.

Since then, their engagement was always rocky. From the spur-of-the-moment proposal to the ring to Lorelai’s instability because of Rory, things went downhill after the engagement. It’s easy to question everything when a relationship worsens because of a proposal. 

They Didn't Trust Each Other Like They Thought They Did

April Nardini meeting Luke in the park on Gilmore Girls

Lorelai and Luke have known each other for years. He watched Rory grow up and practically raised her. They both trusted each other with their lives, but sadly, dating each other made them (and viewers) realize that they kept a lot of secrets from the other.

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It was almost like dating each other made them fearful of losing each other, so they hid more to keep the relationship steady. But in reality, those secrets were red flags. Lorelai hid things about Christopher whileLuke hid things about April. Those are big trust issues that could make it hard to bounce back from. 

Luke Had To Get Over His Issues With Christopher

Lorelai, Luke, and Christopher at the vow renewal on Gilmore Girls

How was Luke supposed to entertain a relationship with Lorelai when he despised her ex-husband and baby daddy, Christopher? As much as the two men hated each other, Lorelai told Luke that Christopher wasn’t going anywhere. As Rory’s father, he was always going to be in her life. That took Luke a long time to get over. After their second and final breakup, Lorelai slept with Christopher, which didn’t help her future with Luke. Luke most likely wanted to make sure her feelings for Christopher were completely gone before getting married. 

Was Marriage Going To Ruin What They Had?

Lorelai skates on the ice rink Luke built her in Gilmore Girls episode Women of Questionable Morals

Luke and Lorelai made great friends. Most of their issues begun when they started dating. Life was simpler without being romantic. Even the people of Stars Hollow worried about what would happen if they broke up. A breakup could ruin their friendship and make things awkward for literally everyone. And where would Lorelai get her coffee? The town ended up being right because as bumpy as their relationship and engagement were, their breakups were even worse.

With A Year in the Life being 10 years since the final season of the original series, it looks like they held off marriage so they didn’t mess up what they had yet again.

They Hid A Lot From Each Other

Luke at the hospital, talking to Lorelai in Gilmore Girls episode I'd Rather Be in Philadelphia

Hiding things from a friend is one thing but it’s another ball game when hiding that friend is your fiancé. Luke was furious when he saw Lorelai quickly deleting a voicemail from Christopher because he felt like she was hiding something from him. Ironically, Luke had to check himself because he too hid a massive secret from Lorelai — the fact that he had a child for the past 12 years and didn’t know it. He also bought a house without telling her. At times, these two loved each other so much that they were dishonest so as not to hurt the other. 

Luke Didn't Want Lorelai Involved With April

Split image of Luke and Lorelai and Lorelai and April at a birthday party on Gilmore Girls

It was bad enough when Luke didn’t tell Lorelai about his apparent child, but it was worse when he didn’t want her involved with April at all. To be fair to Luke, he needed time to get to know April and to be in a good relationship with her before involving a third party. But he never gave Lorelai a chance. He shut her out completely and told her that if she was in the picture, April would like her more than him. Lorelai graciously understood where Luke was coming from but it was something he kept for weeks. It’s hard to continue an engagement when that kind of trust or communication isn’t there. 

Marriage Doesn’t Mean Happiness

Chris and Lorelai at dinner in Paris on Gilmore Girls

After marrying Christopher on a whim, Lorelai realized quickly that being married doesn’t mean a person is happy. Happiness doesn’t automatically come with marriage. Lorelai married Christopher because she loved him and she felt like it was the right time but as soon as they were out of Paris, reality set in — Christopher wasn’t who she wanted. After a mistake of that magnitude, it’s justified that Lorelai and Luke waited so long before getting married.

Lorelai's Family Structure Meant She Didn’t Want To Be Like Her Mom

Emily and Lorelai in Gilmore Girls

When Lorelai went to therapy with Emily in the reboot, Lorelai reiterated that she didn’t “do things like [her] mother.” In the grand scheme of things, Lorelai could have had this epiphany in between the original series and the reboot. She could have realized that getting married meant she would be doing what her mother wanted and found appropriate. With Luke, Lorelai knew there was no rush into rushing to the altar after their second breakup. They weren’t going anywhere.

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