The central relationship of Gilmore Girls has always been the one between Lorelai Gilmore and her clever daughter/best friend Rory. However, it was obvious right from the start that the owner of the diner where they eat is also going to play an important role in Lorelai's plot. Luke Danes is grumpy and cynical yet acts like a saint when it comes to his favorite customers. His and Lorelai's friendship turned romance is a ridiculously enjoyable slow burn.

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Lorelai is vibrant and charismatic, but she also struggles with commitment issues and emotion regulation. Her relationship with her parents is a mess, which unfortunately also seeps into her romances. While the fans generally welcomed the destined couple ending up together, there are many mistakes Lorelai has made in her relationship with Luke.

Updated on June 2nd, 2021, by Lynn Gibbs: In March of 2021, Lauren Graham told EW Live that she has a Gilmore Girls clause in all of her upcoming contracts in case there is ever a sequel to the Gilmore Girls revival. Fans went wild at the thought of seeing Lorelai and Luke as a married couple instead of being in a standstill like they were for the first three episodes of A Year in the Life. The couple has so much history that fans are itching to see more of them. Until then, viewers have no choice but to rewatch the original show and relive the ups and downs of Lorelai and Luke's rollercoaster relationship. 

Updated on November 5, 2021, by Lynn Gibbs: When new Gilmore Girls fans do their first watch of the series, one of the first questions they have is "Do Luke and Lorelai end up together?" Their connection was strong at the start since their friendship was the pillar of their future romantic relationship. But as is the case for most fictional characters, their flaws get in the way and both characters made a few mistakes in their relationship — Lorelai in particular. Eventually, Luke and Lorelai figured themselves out, but that didn't mean their relationship still wasn't dramatic. 

Lorelai Didn't Do Enough To Save Luke From Golfing With Richard

Richard and Luke golfing on Gilmore Girls

Once Emily met Luke at the start of his and Lorelai's relationship, Richard felt like he too needed to get to know his daughter's new beau. He invited Luke to go golfing, which Lorelai didn't want from the start, but she allowed it to happen.

Lorelai messed up because she didn't warn Luke about what country club life with her dad was really like. Not only was Luke underdressed and misinformed, but he also embarrassed himself in front of Richard and his friends. By the end of the day, Luke agreed to a business decision that he wasn't interested in. And while he's an adult who can handle himself, Lorelai could have done more to either stop the game from happening or prepare Luke. It's not the best episode for Luke and Lorelai fans.

Lorelai Aired Their Dirty Laundry Out At Lane's Wedding

Lorelai drunk on tequila at Lane's wedding on Gilmore Girls

When April came into Luke's life, his relationship with Lorelai hit a wall. He didn't know how to be a new dad and a fiancé at the same time. He needed time to figure it out.

Sadly, instead of voicing her frustrations and fears to Luke, Lorelai bottled them inside and unleashed them at the worst place possible: Lane and Zack's wedding. With Luke away, Lorelai told all of Stars Hollow that she wasn't the marrying type. This led everyone to wonder: Do Lorelai and Luke get married? Knowing how gossipy Stars Hollow was, this was a risky move on her end.

Luke Lost His Trust In Lorelai More Than Once

Lorelai helps Luke paint his diner in Gilmore Girls

Before another epic Friday Night Dinner, Lorelai somehow convinced Luke to update his diner and give it a fresh coat of paint. At this point, fans were dying to know if Luke and Lorelai get together. However, knowing how attached to the diner Luke was and how much he hated change, it was a big deal that he agreed to redecorate it with Lorelai's help. Some of his best memories were at Luke's Diner and it was hard to alter it.

Lorelai promised she would be there after hours to help Luke paint but instead, she got caught up with Christopher. Luke played it off when Lorelai showed up late, but that kind of behavior doesn't fly with Luke because he doesn't trust people easily. He lost his trust in Lorelai again when he caught her deleting a voicemail from Christopher as soon as he walked into the room. Honesty was not Lorelai's strong suit.

Lorelai Acted Like She Knew How To Be The Better Parent To April

Luke, April, Lorelai, and Rory standing in a store in Gilmore Girls

Deep down, Lorelai thought she was being helpful by giving Luke some parenting advice, but what she was really doing was telling him what to do. Luke and Lorelai never had kids together, so Lorelai had no idea what kind of parent Luke was aiming to be.

In one scene, he was looking for the perfect birthday gift for April and pointed to something in the window. Lorelai acted like his idea was stupid and reiterated that she had a daughter and knew what kids liked. Annoyed, Luke snapped at her and reminded her that April was his daughter and that he knew what she liked. Plus, Luke wasn't comfortable with Lorelai being involved in April's life just yet. Luke turned out to be a great dad, but this wasn't his finest moment.

Luke Always Liked Lorelai, But She Played Dumb

Rory glaring and Lorelai smiling at someone in Gilmore Girls pilot

Lorelai described Luke as "the guy who pours her coffee," yet she knew all along that he was way more than that. When they first met, Lorelai gave Luke a horoscope reading as a joke and he kept it intact for years. Luke showed her unwavering support and made himself available anytime she needed it, but she rarely thought of reciprocating such gestures.

Deep down, Lorelai knew how Luke felt, and her playing dumb set up an unhealthy dynamic from the start and was a bad Gilmore Girls love lesson. The resentments started building right there and then, even if they didn't realize it.

Lorelai Bringing Luke To Her Parents' House

Lorelai, Luke, Rory, and Emily at Friday Night Dinner on Gilmore Girls

Luke and Lorelai's relationship becomes serious by the end of season 4. In "You Jump, I Jump, Jack," Lorelai brought Luke to her parents' house because her mother absolutely insisted on meeting her new beau. The meeting was obviously awful. Emily never gave Luke a chance to begin with and he only embarrassed himself in the process. It was one of the worst Friday Night Dinners.

Ultimately, Emily got just what she wanted: she managed to create a huge dent in Luke's and Lorelai's relationship. She truly overstepped her bounds but got away with it yet again. However, if Lorelai didn't allow Luke to go over that early in their relationship, things might have gone smoother.

Lorelai Walking Downstairs After Their First Night Together

Lorelai wearing a plaid shirt in Gilmore Girls

The morning after her first sleepover at Luke's, Lorelai casually walks down the stairs to get herself some coffee, wearing only Luke's shirt. She is his most loyal customer, yet didn't consider the opening hours before walking downstairs...

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To her surprise, the diner is open for business and the gossip spread incredibly fast. As if starting a serious relationship with a best friend while both are struggling with commitment issues isn't difficult enough as it is, Lorelai wasted a chance for them to take things at their own pace due to her "forgetting" about being in Luke's Diner.

Lorelai Asked Luke To Marry Her Without Thinking It Through

Lorelai and Luke talking in Luke's Diner when she proposes on Gilmore Girls

It's not that marrying Luke was a bad idea per se, it's just the timing and the reasoning behind it made little sense. There are many things that don't make sense about Luke and Lorelai, but this one probably takes the cake. Neither seems like the marrying type. Lorelai should have thought long and hard before popping the question, but she blurted it out on the spur of the moment instead.

She was mostly touched by Luke's efforts to be a better man for her — he listened to self-help audiobooks, for example — and the dedication he felt towards her estranged daughter. Lorelai asked him to marry her so that she could feel happy again after a fight with Rory; it wasn't because she actually wanted to get married.

And Their Wedding Was All About Lorelai

Lorelai and Sookie looking at Lorelai's dream wedding dress in Gilmore Girls

It took Luke and Lorelai years to officially get married in the revival. But in the original series when they were first engaged, the wedding-planning process was just as slow. It took a little push from Sookie to get Lorelai in the wedding planning mode, and once she did, it was basically done in a day.

After a long day of wedding planning with Sookie, Lorelai went to Luke's Diner at the end of the night to tell Luke that their wedding was already planned, paid for, and on June 10th. The only problem with this is that Lorelai never once consulted Luke. She never even asked him if that date was okay with him. It was selfish and one-sided.

Lorelai Never Addressed Her Commitment Issues

Lorelai and Luke sit side by side in Gilmore Girls.

Throughout the seasons, both Gilmore girls had several boyfriends, but none seem to stick for long. Lorelai obviously has commitment issues. She was engaged to Rory's teacher Max and she canceled at the last moment. She didn't put too much thought into her actions and those who fail to learn from their mistakes are bound to repeat them.

That's exactly what happened when Lorelai started dating Luke: she went along, but a part of her was always postponing settling for good. She asked him to marry her, yet kept pushing back the wedding and beating around the bush. If only she worked on herself, the relationship would be far less tumultuous.

Lorelai Ignored The Red Flags

Gilmore Girls April Luke Lorelai

Luke is definitely not the most emotionally available man in Stars Hollow, so it is no wonder he was so awkward when he first learned that he had a young daughter. He failed to be honest and transparent with Lorelai, which was definitely one of the worst things Luke ever did to Lorelai. It should be said that while fans didn't like April because of her intrusion on their relationship, it wasn't her that was the problem — it was Luke and Lorelai.

However, Lorelai should have been more understanding about the situation. Luke remembered how poorly she treated Jess and was worried. It could also be that Luke feared April was going to like Lorelai better than him since Lorelai had experience with girls (and knew how to bond with them organically). Lorelai came across as patient, but in truth, she was just bottling things up. No wonder she exploded and gave Luke that horrible ultimatum. And speaking of ultimatums...

Lorelai Gave Luke A Ridiculous Ultimatum

Lorelai walking away from Luke as he looks at her on Gilmore Girls

Giving a partner difficult ultimatums can hardly be considered healthy, mature, and supportive. Lorelai had every right to be upset with Luke: he kept postponing the wedding because of his daughter, but an ultimatum is not really the best approach to solve the problem. She confronted him: either Luke elope with her and marry her or they never get married. Naturally, Luke didn't to give her an answer.

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What Lorelai did next was an even bigger mistake than the ultimatum. She ran off into Christopher's arms and spent the night at his place. She cheated on Luke as they hadn't officially broken up on the night of the ultimatum. It was the worst thing that Lorelai could have done at the given moment.

Lorelai Wouldn't Let Things Be Luke's Way

Luke and Lorelai walking together in Gilmore Girls

Lorelai is too self-centered for her own good, especially considering that Luke feeds her, has loaned her large sums of money, and taken care of her daughter as if she was his own. Even when it comes to little things, Lorelai never lets Luke have his way.

Lorelai's personality is a double-edged sword. The same energetic, bubbly, talkative persona that makes Lorelai a great girlfriend can backfire really fast when things aren't how she likes. She is explosive and never learned to keep her emotions in check.

Lorelai Slept With Christopher When She And Luke Broke Up

Christopher looking at Lorelai in Gilmore Girls

Lorelai felt like she had a special bond with Christopher — even Emily liked him quite a lot. Whenever Lorelai got close to Luke, Christopher waltzed right in and she always seemed to be struck by her teenage feelings. The first time that happened was at the end of season 1, when Lorelai and Luke seemed to be flirting more than usual, only for her to be distracted by Christopher, who suddenly wanted to nurture his relationship with Rory.

What's even worse is that Lorelai actually got back together with Christopher. She slept with him mere minutes after fighting up with Luke, married Christopher in season 7, and then changed her mind all over again. Lorelai dragged Luke through hell and it could have been avoided if she didn't act on impulse as much.

...And It Took Too Long For Lorelai To Apologize To Luke

Luke and Lorelai stand in a hay maze in Stars Hollow in Gilmore Girls

After Lorelai gave Luke the ultamatum, it took him a day or two to get his thoughts together. He eventually went to her home and said he was ready to marry her and he wanted to elope. Without saying much, Lorelai told him she couldn't marry him because she slept with Christopher the day before...

A heartbroken Luke left her house, drove to Christopher's, punched him, and went home. Lorelai and Luke bumped into each other after that, but she never fully apologized for the damage she did. It wasn't until the seventh and final season that Lorelai finally apologized in the hay maze. But was it too little too late?

Doing "Wild"

Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls and Gilmore Girls A Year in the Life

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life had good and bad moments. Luke and Lorelai had been together for a solid decade and they never got married. Lorelai was in a bit of a mid-life crisis, feeling detached from Luke. He, of course, was worried that she would leave him, but barely did anything about it. In short, it's obvious they hadn't come far in regards to their communication.

Seeking enlightenment, Lorelai decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. There, she realized that she should marry Luke. It made no sense that she was still so pressured by the idea of marriage. If anything, the idea of marriage represented a huge wound in their relationship since most of their problems from previous seasons stemmed from the fact that they kept postponing the wedding. Ultimately though, they got married and the series ended on a "happily ever after" for the beloved Gilmore Girls couple.

NEXT: 5 Things Gilmore Girls Fans Loved About A Year In The Life (& 5 Things That Could Have Been Better)